The Cancer Man

Cancer (June 22-July 23)

This water sign is kind.. Kind of moody. Ok they’re total sweethearts.. Attentive, caring, giving, and polite. Oh, and you will never know how he feels up front. They don’t want to be injured so they hide all feelings in the beginning. They are terrified of rejection and tend to set themselves up for disappointment. They’re they guys that require a strong friendship before dating.

Generally speaking though, a cancer man won’t let you into his life unless he loves you. Crabs are just that, crabby.. and most cancer men don’t like any extra cranky lady points added into their pool. Unless it’s just for sex. But they get their feelings hurt easily, so even a steady sex buddy would be their only partner. 

Cancer men are selective and seek well dressed, polite, classic beauties. They dislike loud, crass, flamboyant women who may project an unbefitting image in public. When you’re with a Crab man it’s class all the way!

The ruling planet for cancer is the Moon, representing secret places and feminine darkness. Cancer men like the dark! They like sex in the dark, walking in moonlight, and night long parties. Don’t cling onto a crab man, they require their own space to tip toe roam sideways and pinch around.

The cancer motto is I FEEL. These are the sensitive guys in the world. The soulful songwriters and love lost poets. Cancer men love to impress by cooking at home then flaunting their masterful cuddling skills while watching artistic or funny movies movies.

Almost always good looking these guys have a baby face or a structured crab like face. They are polite, because of that, they are always very popular.. Although their shyness may hinder their social exploration.

An out of order Cancer man will be a hermit in the truest sense. He will hate the world with a metallic bitterness. They take everything personally. He will be fearful, angry, and may be a hoarder. Remember that no Cancer man really wants to be like that. They don’t become that way, they feel it happens to them. They need love, nurturing, and compassion. They need to be held. Usually an angry Cancer man is still holding onto a grudge from his last relationship, or something from childhood.

But when the cancer man is happy, everyone adores him. Parents, children, friends, friends of friends, people at the grocery store. These guys are friendly to everyone, but extremely picky about who they date, it’s not a game to them, it’s real. They won’t get serious until it’s time to settle down.

1,151 thoughts on “The Cancer Man

      • I need some advice, I met this cancer guy over 3 months ago at work, the attraction was instantaneous, I gave him my email to break the ice and he made contact, we started talking and he gave me his number but I didn’t call, later that week as ibfelt more comfortable sharing I told I was engaged but I wasn’t sure I wanted to spend my life with my fiance, we continue talking, he was charming, flirty, you name it he was. All of the sudden he tells me he doesn’t want a relationship, mind tou at that point we have already kissed and talked for hours. He says he finds me very attractive, he loves my smile, wel the liat of compliments could go on forever. I told him how I felt, that I really really liked him and that I didn’t want to be a booty call because I reapect myself and I wanted something else. I also told him that I know that people don’t just jump into a relationship from one day to the next but he had put boundaries and I felt I was going to end up being there just for his sexual pleasure. I told him if we had sex I wasn’t going to see him again because I was not going to put myself thru that because I really like him and I want morw than just sex. So since he has been a bit distant, I make contact he replies, sometimes he makes contact on his own and I reply. We see each other sometimes and make out and boy is it hot!!!! But then we go our separate ways. I like him sooooo much and I know he does too. I feel he has someone else and he says he doesn’t but why would he act so detached if helikes me? I’ve dropped hints about “oh lets hang out fpr drinks” he just doesn’t gives in. I broke up with my fiance a week after we started talking and I made aure to tell him very casual. But still he doesn’t make a move. We talk on a regular basis but that’s i. We flirt etc but is not like before. I’m confused!!!! I know is stupid because he says he doesn’t want a relationship, howevwr he says it could happen a bit later. Am I being string along?? He says there is nothing he doesn’t love about me yet he acts like this…HELPPPP

      • Hey there Piscesgirl. Do you love to be in love? Most fish ladies do! <3 Let's talk Crab guys. Not usually the best match. Deep water plus more water= Flooding

        If you flirt with a Cancer man and get him interested you better be sure you can back that up with transparency. You dropped a HUGE bomb that not only are you not single … You were engaged. Just, casually. His heart probably dropped. That's a good way to say "I'm just using you for attention" (no offense, that's how they think)

        To a Crab man that is a cardinal sin. You toyed with his honest emotions, so he backed off.. and he may stay friendly from afar but that may be his way of wanting to end it without hurting your feelings. They're very nice men, these crabs.. They'll stick it out even if it hurts them.. Just so they don't hurt you (but sadly it usually backfires hurting the you more)

        Later, after your (casual mention, mistake) break-up you defined yourself (in his eyes) as physically enticing and willing to cheat on your partner right away. Crabs need to trust someone. They are very old fashioned in this manner.

        Your seeming lack of commitment and willingness to be engaged to someone you'd dump in a week (for him, a basic stranger) are major red flags for a sensitive crab fellow. Granted an Aries would call you a bad ass.. A Sagittarius would call you brave.. But Crabs will run and say nothing at all.

        Cancer is a sign based on intimate secrets, security, home, and family. You did exactly what you shouldn't have to win him over. Sorry to say.

        He may make out with you- because he is a man who is attracted to you- but I'd be willing to bet that it's only until someone else comes along. If I were you I'd end it on friendly terms and not wait until it gets old and funky. Good Luck.

      • Just slow down, do your best to highlight some major reason as to why the relationship was going to end regardless of the crabs involvement. The idea that I was the cause to something that scares me to the point of not getting close to others is upsetting. You leaving your ex fiancé was a red flag to the notion that you could do the exact same thing to him. You tripped his security alarm. He still feels attracted to you, but is preventing himself from getting emotional now. Not sure what the best course of action is, probably Christina’s of walking away. The chances of you making it work is slim unless you can justify the breakup with respect to the ex, the crab is imagining a great guy that he just screwed and right now he has more emotions for him than you(guilt).

      • Just an update. I have personally cut all communication with my cancer “friend”I felt it was too much for me to handel all of this hot and cold in and out kind of thing. I am hurting but ill get thru it. I didn’t tell him he is being cut off. I just deleted the app that was used as our form of communication. Eventually he will figure it out. And I hope he figures himself out. Although my initial thread sounded like if I wanted him just to play or gurt him it wasn’t. I truly like this guy but I kove me more and yea I may be in his eyes a bit intense but my intentions ARE pure but I guess he will never know. I’m walking away for my own sake, I’m sure he will find and so will I another person more fit for each other :'(

      • Thanks for writing that Christy~ Talking about mood swings, now I have a question: So my boyfriend and I are together for 4 years and suddenly 3weeks ago he said he wanted to break up bc he can’t give me the future I want(Weird thing is he was the one who always talked about getting married and stuff). This is coming out from NO where. I thought our relationship was very stable and he always showed me how much he cares and loves me ALL the time. I was in shock and accepted it.We still have some practical issues to resolve(such as who takes the cat/dog-we lived together). But I just have the feeling that this is not end of it. Should I call or let him think it over and give him space? (He’s been going through some career issue).
        (I’ve been away for school the past one year and spent 4 months @home on break. We did long distant with ZERO problem).

      • Hi Lobster (Lobster+Crab? Love it!)
        Have you been in contact with your beau? If he still contacts you he just needs space. If he’s cut ties, he probably still just needs space.

        My Crab and I have gone back and forth with the next step for years. He always says he’s against it, but he’s also admitted (like 4 times or more) it’s because he isn’t where he wants to be financially. After TWO years of this he’s finally accepted he needs to find a better job.. Which he may take another year to do (Taurus Moon, slowest mover ever!)

        When a cancer man wants to marry you it’s an old fashioned type of feeling.. He wants to be able to provide for a family and take care of you should anything happen. Those are likely his biggest fears.. You need to make him feel safe again.

        Ask him to meet you in a nice park (preferably one with gardens and water!) and bring him a coffee or tea (show him you care, though of him the whole way there). Don’t be pushy, just tell him you understand and try to relate to him. Listen to him more than usual.

        The fact that you’re so far away is likely very hard for him to cope with. A year is a VERY long time. He may see it as you “drifting away” even if he doesn’t let-on like he does. Cancers are very sensitive, they need to be seen and hugged daily.

        Good luck.

      • Hi Christy, I really need your advice, im a leo and he is a cancer. Friends introduced us but everything is virtual. We were in a virtual relationshio,but he really exerted effort communicating with me and we had mutual understanding that this was the first time we were close to somebody we havent met in person before. He opened up a lot of things especially his family, he even introduced me to his mom thru skype. Long story shoet we were very much inlove and just waiting to see eachother this december. But then something came up and he deleted me on fb,i tried to talk to him but nothing happened. So i let him be, then surprisingly,after a month he added me again on fb, he confessed and he said he was such an asshole for treating me that way,he was deeply sorry, he even said that he realized that eventhough he screwed up a lot of times he still keeps coming back and thinking of me,that in the end i would still have him, is this true? And he also confessed of having a relationship with someone whom he just met,but he said he was not happy,its just a front so people will assume he is happy but he is not. Now i am thinking on what is going on, does he want to get back with me? Does he still love me? Im kinda confused.,hope u can help, thank you! :)

      • Hey Leogirl I’m a Leo too. It’s hard for our egos to handle the wishy washy cancer man. For a cancer man to say he loves you before ever receiving a hug is a tricky subject… Yes it’s possible he’s being genuine.. It’s also possible he just wants to feel wanted/loved/needed and is using you for those means. Also, how old are y’all? Crabs don’t usually mature until they’re in their mid 20s, some can commit younger. If he’s dating someone else to make others happy, you should question his own emotional stability. Why haven’t you met him yet? What “came up” and he deleted you? Let me know.

  1. soi am a gemini and i have crush on this cancer man and recently i confessed to him that i have a crush on him but then he didnt sau he likes me back or has a crush on me too?!! so i am like wondering wether he even likes me or not?Or is it really hard for cancer men to confess their love?Please help

    • Oh Christie, I learned this lesson about 5 years ago. A cancer man will play coy and cool until he is 110% sure you are in it to win it.. Then and only then will he open up his true nature, and reveal his emotions. Cancer men are completely terrified of being rejected.. Thus they take the longest to express how they feel! My advice is this, if you can feel him (intuitively) digging you, loving you.. desiring you.. Then just roll with it. Don’t be pushy, just be nurturing and excepting of him! Enjoy the little moments until he falls for you.. Then he will be a long term partner in friendship and wild love making :)

  2. ofcourse i do feel he likes me and we really feel connected to each other and this other day he even told me he feels connected to me in some way :) so i am really thinking that he actually like me but i was really confused because he never said he likes me or has a crush on me.He just said he cares about me :) i guess I need to give him some time :) and not give up on him :) i will be patient :) Thanks a lot

  3. I met a cancer guy but I am 6 years older than him, we hook up quite a lot and have great moments in bed, one night he said he loved me, i dont know if he thought I was sleeping but then he said he shouldnt say that when he realised I heard. I have 2 kids and he has none but says he really wants them when he meets the right person, he said I would have been if I was a bit younger. I am so confused because I think I have fallen for him, but I do not know how to continue or if there was ever a chance?

    • When a Cancer man says he loves you he means it. Unless you are too old to have children when he says “with the right person” he’s fishing for you to get the hint. Cancer men love to drop hints- if they feel it’s safe- if he didn’t love you he wouldn’t be around.. They love kids, if it’s another mans children it does not matter. He wants KIDS but may be only one of his OWN. See what I am saying? To say “if you were younger” is his way of asking if YOU think it’s too late for another baby. See? Cancers are so easy- they are sensitive.. They don’t play around and they don’t waste their own time. If he cares about you, he’ll be around you. End of story. If you’ve fallen for him, tell him, but wait until the right moment, you’ll know when it comes along. They’re all psychic, so he already know’s what’s going on. Makes things harder and easier at the same time. Good luck <3 This is a typical Cancer man situation! You're not alone!! Just be honest and kind :)

  4. We have not known each other for a very long time and I actually have never known another person who has this sign so I feel a bit lost. It does sound like him in some ways but I really do not know him that well. When he said I love you, I thought i heard wrong but he said it again softly and then when I nodded he said we must not get serious. He had said before we were in different places, I think he feels that I am too established for him, I have a nice home and everything I need. Do you really think he meant it or was he just being funny with me. He has been very aloof this week, I do not want to contact him and encroach on his space. Really confused by this guy. But thanks for your comments so far.

  5. Hi Christy i have another question.Would a cancer man care about a woman even if he didnt love her? Whenever we bid goodbyes he is always like’ you take care’ and then also he wants me to watch his fav team playing.He hasnt said he lives me yet but i think he does have feelings for me.I just wanna be sure.Should i make the first move or wait for him to do it?
    He once said he thinks about me and that he cares about me. Well my question is do you think he loves me ?

    • I can’t say that he loves you, but you can make the first move. no cancer man spends time with ANYONE if they dont care about them!!! You’ll never know unless you try :) If you wait around for him you may wait forever, and he may get tired of waiting on YOU to do something lol

  6. So i seem to have a bit of bad luck with cancerian men and i wonder if i can get some help as to where i am going wrong, my only true love which was a holiday romance was a cancerian over 10 years ago and we still love each other but he is in the UK and im in NZ so that doesnt help but we have had many times where we can be together but he goes quite and ignores me so i have given up but now i have met a lovely guy he is a cancerian we say we only going to be sex buddies because he has been stung previously but one minute he will pull towards me the next his distant, completely confusing, what shall i do? i really like him

  7. Hi! I need help!
    i live in california (birthday june 19) and recently met a cancer man (birthday june 30th) who was visiting from canada for two months. a little background: we met off craigslist and met up plutonicly, the very first blind meet up went rather well, we actually had a great time and i genuinly liked him as a person. not to mention being very attracted to him physically and emotionally. He made the first move and kissed me at the bar! we ended up having sex that first night.

    bad choice, i know…i figured i was never going to see him again my shyness was over powered by courage to just have fun and go with it! but i realize now it only made him more difficult to read. at first he was so sweet, calling me babe and making sure i got home safe. thru the next 2 months it was a big ball of mixed messages.

    throughout the next two months he called me sexy, hung out with me every few days, made me dinner, introduced me to his parents, invited me to the movies and wanted to put the armrest up so we could touch (even though he never touched me) as we were walking out from the movies, he said “i feel like i want to open up to you” but never actually did. he called me sexy and gave me various other compliments throughout our time together. Was still not overly forward with affection but would make the move and we alwasy ened up having sex. he would pay for things when we were out and about, litterally quit smoking when after learning i wouldnt marry a smoker, he would test me like crazy about being loyal, nurturing…all the things cancers look for. he questioned why i didnt sit next to him one time (although he questioned me weeks later) he would stare at me, and i would also catch him looking at me from afar out of the corner of my eye.

    on the other hand, he made it a point to say that we were just friends and would never be able to have a relationship since he lives in another country, i would find him looking at other girls when we were out. he never played his guitar for me because he said it was too personal, yet he participates in open mic nights and is seeking a recording contract. after i expressed that i was attracted to him he said he doesnt have any judgments towards me for liking him. wtf?? i also told him how ive learned so much from him since our meet and that i really valued our new friendship…his response was “thats great. me too. im sure if i really think about it, youve participated in my growth, but cant think of how right now” huh???!! we went to the movies a second time and he asked if he could put the armrest down this time (i guess he didnt want to touch me this time?) stopped calling me sexy and babe altogether. knowing (because he told me) he is has issues with rejection, i tried to be reassuring and consistant (even though i never do that unless the guy lets me know first he is super into me) i let him know i was attracted to him was very nurturing and supportive. and when i would try to come out of my comfort zone and make a move (like linking my arm in his as we were walking to the car, or cuddling with him on the couch as we were watching a movie) he would litterally not respond, as if he was uncomfortable but didnt want to say. He once said that his time with me has been frustrating, confusing, fun and interesting. So this alone, to me, would say…”ok, hes not that interested” which is fine with me, not everyone is going to be attracted to me.

    But his last week in town, he asked if i would mind spending the day with him and his parents, that they wanted to take me out to lunch and wanted site see around the city. the day went really perfect, i brought a little gift for his mom and we all had a great time. after telling me how much his mom liked me and how incredible i was, he asked to take me out the day before he left to say thank you for spending my time with him and making his trip so great…we had a really wonderful evening and he ended it with giving me a bracelet of his that he got when he traveled to nepal “to never forget him”. i happend to bring a gift for him as well that was sentimental to me and he said he would always keep with him. he kissed and hugged me goodbye, got in his car, then got out again and came to hug and kiss me again!

    after leaving he waited 3 days to contact me to let me know he had still not had a cigarette, and have now been texting every couple of days

    my question is this…im afraid he liked me at first but maybe lost interest. which is completely ok, i realize not everyone is going to be attracted to me, but im still not clear. what do you think? was this your typical friends with benefits situation? obviously circumstances and actions say its is, but because i developed feelings for him, id like to think that there was something more so i cant read my intuition :( Obviously i know this is rediculous that im even caring since he lives in another country, but im the type that likes to think that anything is possible. please HELP!

    • I may be wrong but I think he was trying to emotionally detach from you given his awareness of your guys distance but was unable to because his emotions are too strong. I’m sorry that he was such an emotional roller coaster for you, but to be honest that’s a little immature on his part. If you like him you should be direct with your feelings and say things like “I want to make this work,” etc. Also, call him on his shit. I’m a cancer and its a turn on when people call me on my b.s. because in my eyes it means they’re intuitive enough to see through the wall I build up to protect myself. Aka our crabby shell.

  8. Cancer guy here: this sums us up pretty well. I find it nearly impossible to express how I feel to someone unless I know the feelings to be reciprocated. So I test them (in a non harmful way) to gauge their emotions and their emotional maturity. The biggest misconception about us is that we are emotionally manipulative, which can be true, but its only done with the best intentions, and never in a way that could damage someone else. Sometimes we dont even see it as manipulation, more just feeling out a situation. I couldn’t live with the guilt of knowing I hurt someone else. Every cancer guy I’ve come in contact with is the same, extremely quiet until they’re comfortable, funny, observant, and with some psychic qualities. But the underlying fear of rejection is our kryptonite. I ask that if you ever find yourself attracted to a cancer man to just be direct and reassuring with your emotions. He’ll probably even be turned on by your directness as we take longer to process how we feel given how intense our feelings are.

    • You seem to have a lot of insight into these situations. I need your advice. Recently I got into a fight with my cancer boyfriend. We dated casually a few years ago and now we just started dating again but its long distance. Hes absolutely crazy about me and I haven’t felt this kind of a connection in a long time. He’s constantly being so kind, thoughtful , reassuring and incredibly loving. However I can tell through subtle ways he feels insecure like he’s not good enough for me ( even though I constantly shower him with compliments and tell him how much I care and how much he means to me, I also send him notes and gifts when I can) anyways I called him to let him know when I’ll be visiting next and how I’m getting delayed and I’m not sure if I can see him when I thought because I wanted to set some things I could do for business while visiting him so I could stay with him longer since I can’t ignore my work for too long. He got extremely upset and defensive then asked why I wouldn’t come out for an extended period of time for just for him ( I have bills that’s why!) And then proceeded to say he didn’t care If I came or not. Then he sad he had to go and hung up. I texted him and long story short I explained how I felt unappreciated by his rudeness and rather than being mean he could have told me how he honestly felt rather than mask it with anger. He said that its obvious he interferes with my career ( which is not true, I just have an issue with his outbursts as they are extremely selfish and immature). And he said a lot is going on and that we can’t date anymore. He said he’s not good for me. I told him I care for him and to call me so we can straighten this out and he said he cares a lot about me and he refused to talk. I texted him asking why and he stopped responding. I told him before he said we shouldn’t date that I needed a few days to rethink how he handled our phone convo. I also know that he cares for me on a level deeper than he has ever felt and that it’s very scary for him and he wonders what I see in him BC I have so much to offer and he doesn’t feel he meets me halfway. He does meet me halfway but I don’t know how to get him to see it, and how to bring out the caring mature man I started dating , not the immature boy. Should I wait until he reaches out or should I call him? I know he’s quick to anger and quick to forgive but I don’t want to act like a doormat so he thinks this behavior is okay and if he acts up I’ll always come crawling back and calling him.

      • Also ever since we have started dating about 4 months ago he keeps talking to me about starting a family together and getting married. He seems like the type to not think things through. But he’s never been so serious about a girl or even mentioned marriage to any other girl. I’ve known him for over ten years and he never considered it with anyone except me. Now he knows I would wait a long time before I got married or had kids but he’s constantly talking to me about moving in with him and creating my job to be able to work from where he lives bc he loves and misses me so much. Knowing this, why would he throw our relationship down the drain over a stupid misunderstanding? Im not sure if he was serious about breaking it off or if its a test but I’m not the type to beg. If you say you don’t want to be with me I won’t try to convince you, I’ll give you what you want. I just don’t know where he stands. I feel like he’s playing mind games and I resent that

  9. Need Insights badly (any cancer guy here)

    I been getting to know this cancer guy for like a few weeks now, yes very recently. Oh Man, I am a scorpio woman and just suddenly I realized I have fallen head straight for this guy. We don’t stop talking for hours and hours and hours and when its time to stop and well sleep saying good night takes so long…(long distance dating by the way…I live in the other side of the world and so is he)

    Last night got me terrified..because he started to open up about wanting me to be with him or how it would work him coming over to me or me going to him…we both have work and established a comfortable living environment. What I am scared is that Is he for real?? I mean is he serious…he says he is but …i don’t know. Much more that he sent me a picture of a diamond ring with my name on it (freaking out now)…

    He is coming to me next month to see me for 2nd time in 3 months, He keeps on talking about US, his kids and my daughter us all living in one place…so many plans but I am doubtful.

    How will I know this guy is serious? And what he is saying is all true, not lying to me? (we are both single by the way we just happen to have kids with our exes)

    your insights will be appreciated.

    • In my experience a cancer man will never put his heart or his comfortable life on the line unless he’s 100% serious. Cancer men value their homes above all else, so the fact he is offering to move just to be with you, speaks volumes. I say if it feels real, go for it. Cancer men make great partners, and once they’re in love they’ll fight to keep it forever. Good luck!!!

  10. Hi Christy I do appreciate your response on my last post. In my case I am very terrified at the moment of my attraction towrds this man. I mean it only took weeks and I just realized this evening that I love…it freaks me out more since I havent really known his true feelings…like he didnt literally said he loves me or anything…he just said that he will take good care of me and my daughter, and he cant wait to pamper me. Its not that i dont want his attentions, its just that i am scared. I dont want to be hurt over again…i am a scorpio and it is very true that once we love someone its true, and i have been hurt so much before, this is just so confusing to me at the moment. just so scared.

  11. hi christy..i have got a new job and theres this cancer guy who also joined with me…he doesnt seem to have any cancer traits..hes talkative to the core…..we dont interact very often…bt when we do…we have like …many topics to talk about……and i realise i am falling for him….theres this ‘gut’ feeling that he likes me too…its just there…i have caught him staring at me many times…but thats not the reason of me thinking he likes me….theres no concrete evidence..but i can feel it….. …how do cancerians behave when they like a girl…how do i approach him.

    • haha, you’re right! He is enamored by you for sure. Good job going with your guts, that’s the hardest part about astrology- Getting women to use their natural intuition. Makes life so much easier! To respond, just be his friend. Cancer men love friends. Flirt with him, touch his hand, ask him to coffee.. Ask him to dinner.. Ask him to dinner at your house.. But wait, if he gets crabby and skirts away- take a step back. Think of the crabs on the beach, so pretty, you can get close, but too close and WOOSH they’re back into the surf and it never happened. Word of advice, don’t be his mother.

  12. So…i’m an Aquarian woman. A total free-spirit, independent, strong-willed force of nature who loves freedom and space above everything else. I met this Cancerian 3wks ago who told me that he could easily fall in love with. He even wanted me to meet his mother the same day!!! I shrugged off the offer like only Aquarians can and proceeded to enjoy the coffee date…occassionally zoning out when got into intricate details of electronic components etc etc

    I always said that i would NEVER date a possessive, whiney, pitiful, obsessive, compulsive, nitpicky Cancerian. I know that they have moods but I’ve not seen his yet. I know that he is definitely interested but careffully weighing the situation because on the 2 occassions that I agreed to meet with him, i made it very clear that i will not be told what to do or put up with anyones bullshit. Or that if he wants polished cutlery, he’d’ ‘need to bring his own or polish mine…LoL

    Now having said all of that…he is kinda cute and can be quite intriguing. He phones me often and messages me every day. He sounds like a masterchef in the kitchen and has offered to cook for me on several occassions..

    I just don’t know how long it would take before I’d crack with this guy. He is a beautiful soul and i love that he is attentive but…i dont know.

    I also wonder what he’d be like with my 2 kids even though he was more than happy to include them in our 2nd date. Still…

    We’re just soooo different…and yet, he is so intriguing and charming. He’s also 10 yrs older…

    Even as I’m typing this, i’m wondering whether or not it would be a good idea to see him tonight. Hmm.

    Is it possible that i am actually falling for a Cancerian man? OMG! NOoooo! LoL

    • Totally sounds like you’re falling for him! It’s easy to love a crab- they cook, clean, and then treat you to dessert in bed!! Ohh la la!!! If you’re thinking about him, spend time with him. He’s thinking about you too. Cancers are psychic by nature, they “get it” and there’s nothing you can “hide” from them. He will pick it out and find that detail and remember it. Play nice!!

  13. I feel that they are real hard work, does anyone else feel like that? but at the same time capture you in every way. So i spent the day with my cancerian guy (although not mine so to speak) on saturday with his son and mine and honestly it was so lovely we had a lovely day and i saw the real him and Chrissy your so right what absolute gorgeous attentive and thoughtful guys they are, trouble is it made me fall for him even more, i didnt want him to leave and although we had such an amazing day he then went quite the next day so im thinking i must be doing somethng wrong here or am i? i dunno can anyone help? its like he pulls towards me and that is definately when we see each other but then when we are not together he pulls away from me

  14. Hi Emma,

    Yes i do feel that way too…and hard hard work..worth it? yes only if you feel that deep connection. I have that tendency with my beau too, he pulls away after we talk for 12 to 16hours a day..and literally pouts when I am late on waking up and be online for our regular everyday talk hours (hey we do have work and kids to attend to..LOL).

    Emma, does your cancer guy leave you 20 to 30 messages in your voicemail and/or email? Mine is like that. but when its moody time, oh boy.

    I think its not you the problem here. basically its him, I think he is in very deep. as a scorpio I easily just sense it. guess is because we are of the same element, we pull away when we are in too deep and scared of our feelings yet very hesitant to divulge the feelings no matter how hard we want to say it. The key here is control, give him time and space when this happens Emma, dont pressure and stress him. Instead don’t give him any attention at all…it will pull him out very very very quick from his cave. (works with my cancer guy…and his tactics just don’t work on me..the crabby wont last if you dont tolerate)

  15. Hi Scorpio Woman, firstly thanks so much for taking the time to reply to me i really appreciate it, I dont think we have the same connection as you guys because we certainly dont talk for that long or maybe its just because we are in the beginning stages but sometimes we will talk but its on text mostly sometimes on email, its funny because he will have me up if i dont reply and ask me whats wrong but then he goes all quite himself, its frustrating as you probably know, especially as i like talking to him and i find myself not as happy when we dont speak but i now understand (thanks to you) that i have to leave him if he doesnt want to talk and let him initiate the conversation, feels a bit like we are doing everything to bend over backwards for them but i guess as long as it works out in the end then its fine isnt it?

  16. Your welcome Emma, mine is not that long too. Guess its just that we talk most of the time its overwhelmingly scary, tempting and very frustrating at the same time. Very dominating, so old school and like Chrissy said they are very thoughtful and attentive more so it suffocates in a good way though. LOL. They are really very very very possessive once they are in deep shit…mine is like that..he doesnt need to say he loves me by the way he hovers and gets so jelous over just nothing proves so much otherwise and scares me bits too since well yeah I am head over heels with this guy. Oh dear, so yeah we are doomed together to be butting heads…

    Just feel him Emma, I mean make him work on you both. Im not sure about all the cancer men out there but so far with all the cancer men around me, they do follow the traditional MEN pays for everything rule and provider. Watchout for his ego too they are very very fragile but just be honest..dont hold out on what you want to say and express yourself. He will love and hate you for it, and cant resist you. Well speaking for my own guy, I dont sugar coat anything. If he is being an ass I dont put up with it he leaves and fights me but still comes back when he cools down and gets better better better more and more everyday. If you can just be laid back, be happy that he makes his move at the same time subtle in your aggressiveness then you can be sure you wont wait forever. (wink) goodluck to you on your crab. lol

  17. Hey Scorpio Women, to be honest i am actually getting a bit fed up of him now and am in such a bad mood today at work because last night we all talking and then he goes quite completely ignores the rest of my texts i mean how rude can you be? and actually why do we need to tip toe round these so called amazing cancer guys when actually half the time treat us whichever way they feel like at the time. I tried ignoring the fact he was ignoring me like you said but then i though why the hell should i have to put up with that so i sent a text just saying its really rude to ignore someone when we are in the middle of a conversation because we were, again no reply until this morning, he sent a text saying im so moody i mean WTF! i said i am not moody im just sick of getting ignored, of course no reply, he then sends one a few hours later saying am i having a bad day, i just about wanted to headbutt my phone ha ha! so again he is not getting it so i replied and said no i am just getting sick of being constantly ignored and it has put me in a bad mood today and guess what no reply so i am so over it!

  18. Hi Emma,

    That is what the exact example of their crabby BS…had once experience with that but that never happened to me ever again. I did’nt put up with it. If you feel its just not worth the headache go girl, walk away…but watch how this crab run after you, then this will be all up to you. Mine was so like that, more like his jelousy possessive streak and shutting me out. It does pisses you off and patience does run out…so I can so understand you on this pissed off part. You have been warned though, if you feel its real hard work dont, but if you feel its hardwork but worth it go for it…if its real though. my only assurance though is when they know that they cant walk all over you and you wont ever tolerate their BS they will never do it to you again. Hugs Emma…

  19. I am so thankful i have you to keep me sand through this because i thought i was going mad and it was an issue with me, thanks so much x

  20. Oh god Scorpio Women…seems like you know these Cancer men very well…I am in such a deep mess..If Anyone can help me please Advice…
    I met this Cancer guy..from what i heard he was a ladies MAN so i flirt like the Libra in me does and backed off as i thot my friend and him like each other, but he kept flirt with me n my friend just the same. I was never interested in Men like him who like All women. Months later we get in touch for some part time job opportunity, and decide to meet for work and the plan was to spend the night at his place..after work went at his place and got drunk,ended up having sex and next morning when I tried to Sneak out he stopped me and started past relatnships have not exactly been amazin so i resisted the cuddling but didnt stop him..After that i kept meeting all our common frnds only in his absence, he noticed and asked me not to do that and agreed since i liked him too. After that he wud keep tellin me he cares about me but never said anything more so i figured it was frnds with benefit type situation with us and kept to that.
    Things were goin Amazin…we wud fight like couples , not talk for says n weeks but always find our way to each other..UNTIL once when i had a fight with my cancer guy, the frnd of mine who use to like him..filled my head with shit and told him lies and created tons of problems between me n my cancer guy (not my guy yet though he called me “mine” (meaning him) once and indirectly said “if you were my girlfriend” and ” loads of similar stuff) he was hurt and i was in pain, physically and emotionally. He didn’t talk to me even when i tried to talk it out..came to me on the night of 13th February to sort things out and since i was angry that he took 1 and half month to sort things out i said a lot of mean things…after a couple of meetings everything got cleared out and asked me to be his frnd. I refused to be his frnd sayin since i had feelings for him i cudn’t be frnds with him, he insisted for a couple of days and when i wudnt budge he gave up, but i cud see the pain in his eyes so i met him once and AGREED to be his frnd. Hante was happy but after that he started acting weird and superrr distant…i got confused…he never validated our relationship but kept using the word “Relationship”, he denied havin said “I like you” on the night of my bday which i know is LIE as he said it twice not once…now we r so AWAY from each other…we work with each other but dats all that remains…i am head over heels in Love with this guy but he doesnt care about me anymore he has shut me out of his world..
    The other day i was taking care of a common frnd’s 3 year old kid (i am good with kids, he use to love it when i cook and clean and take care of everything including him) he said to me “you should have kids” WHO SAYS THAT to some you know has FEELINGS for you…OMG!!! I said “I wish” i know he sooo wants to have kids but god knows what’s wrong with him…Anyways I am on the VERGE of completely giving up on HIM and whatever we had (god only knows what it was)…PLEASE ADVICE!!!!!!!!
    (Sorry for the long story…this is a shorter version btw…lol)

    Emma if you too can help please advice….

  21. Hi Emma,

    Saw your email couple of days ago, and just so so so busy with work and life itself. LOL but finally have the moment to breathe and reply… How are you going? still mad or warming up? Watch out for the phases of the moon also. They change emotions like the moon. LOL but no biggy actually. If you don’t feel like what they are doing then don’t mind him. If its all cool by all means be sweet. But one thing works every time with my cancer, he is a sucker for sweet nothings. I leave me an ecard that says about how I miss him and he goes speechless. I make him a quick fix video of his kids…he goes speechless…send him a picture of my coffee with his name on it…and he goes speechless…LOL I just love it.

  22. You seem very lucky your cancer guy sounds lovely mine is not we had a lovely day together thursday with the kids his so different when im with him and then as soon as i walk out that door it changes i get ignored and we back to square one i need to cut ties :(

  23. Hi Emma,

    I’m not entirely 100% sure about it, though I may think he is lucky that he found me. LOL that being said, and reading your post now…We had a fall out and its frequent this week, being the moon all full and damn even for so petty things he gets so sensitive. And yes I can understand that thought that its better to cut ties though, I have thought that too nowadays…my feelings for the cancer is scary…bring tears to my eyes everytime but I don’t know….who knows…by the way…I blocked him from fb, skype and phone… :(

  24. Oh really? Im sorry hun hope you are ok, hey email me direct and we can help each other through this hopefully to a happy ending i have cut ties but still for some reason feel so much for him 😢hope u ok

  25. How do u make a cancer man forget his ex.aleady unfaithful to me (an aquarius woman) but wont leave..

  26. Hi girls, I’m having thia HUGE crush on a cancer guy. Ok Im Asian working in a restaurant, Taurus is my sun sign, my cancer man is 16 years older than me, divorced and had a kid with his ex and is a doctor. He used to be a regular at our restaurant and never made any fuss or spoke to anyone, always polite and well-mannered, sometimes he had female friends over and then when i finaly small-talked to him, he said he was a doc and so happens my aunt was in need of his speciality so i took my aunt to visit his clinic… Then he refused to take any money from us saying that he’ll take next time when we do the followup, so next week when my aunt and uncle in law visited the clinic they both had the same problems and troubled this cancer over a couple of issues then finally consultation n ultrasound was over he still refused to take any money. Anyways, how we really connected was he’d gotten himself a golden puppy and couldnt keep him in the clinic alone cus of the noise but i had a cocker puppy so i agreed to keep them both with me at night and bring them to gis clinic during the day. This has been going on for 10 days and im emmensilu attracted to him. He’d always go the extra mile to drop them off and be very nice to me, sometimes he’d left his clinic but would drive back so just i wont need to pick them up. Recently he’d be telling me more about himself and how he’s usually a shy natured person and rather introverted but he feels that in the environment in our rest and also because he teaches at the uni makes him more open, when im sick he picked it up right away throguh phone asking if i was alright, he pressed really hard on his questions so it was so embarrasing to tell him i have problems with my private parts but he being a doc an all that right away told me to take antibiotics and to take matters seriously. Im soooo in love with his caring nature and always repeated my appreciation and gratitude and really love him simply for who he is but im afraid to scare him off, also i lack self confidence and always think that in so fat no guys would like me… So terrified of rejection since Crabs do like classy women right? Need some insights, thank you

  27. Anyone dating or wanting to date a cancer man, take note: Cancer men have no clue how their mood swings effect others. One week they can be playful and delightful, snuggles abound. For no apparent reason, whap, you are shut out. Evil eye, and a look of disgust comes your way. Confused, and wondering “WTF” is wrong now!! A 360 mood swing. I’ve been dating one for two years and I’m about to call it quits for good. I’ve walked before only for him to beg me to come back, 1-2-3-4-5x and every time he swears on his life he won’t take his moods out on me again. I’m classy, I cook amazing meals, wait on him hand-and-foot. And most consider me to actually be beatiful. Not to mention I’m a consultant and have helped his business significantly (no charge) only to get a pissed off, sobby, wet blanket, time and time again. Mind you, they can be control freaks, emotionally too. The moment he thinks I’m starting to disconnect, he turns into the boyfriend I love. The moment I get comfortable thinking we are moving forward, whap, the claws come out. It’s not like I’m pressuring him to marry or want children. No. Is it too much to ask for a boyfriend to be in a good mood?! Life is too short. I/we/all work too hard. F… that. Everybody has their crap to deal with. I don’t make everybody around me pay for my foul mood. Get help. Cause God only knows I need it – to figure out why I’ve stayed this long. His life is better, and I’m bloody exhausted from all his bloody f-ing moods. My feet hurt. My stomach hurts. My shoulder hurts. I’m hungry, I’m tired….My staff is stupid. My business isn’t’ doing well. Ok, so the fool I am tried to fix it all.. and I did. Only to get, again, a bad f-mood. Home alone on the first beautiful night in four months, because he’s in a bad mood. One might say, go out with a friend?!. Really? Only for me to come home to even a more pissed off crabby crab crab…. ? And F the “he’s so sensitive” crap. I’m the most sensitive, caring, generous person I know. Do I act like a baby and throw a tantrum? No. I deal with it, like a woman. And no he’s not out there cheating on me. I know for a fact. Why? That would be TMI. He’s at his business dramatizing how stupid his staff is? Really? They all hate you beacuse you have a spit personality. One min you let them do what ever they want, the next, you are calling them “worthless-stupid-loosers”…. And no he is not bipolar. He is SELFISH. “oh poor me, I’m sensitive”…. F- that….

    • Oh god JD, i feel bad for you…i know how exhausting and painful the to shut out can be…Do you really get enuf tired to call it off???
      i wanna, Want to quit its so f***** painful !!!

    • Thats just a great description of him ( looks like we are dating the same man, JD!) :). I was a big time women for him: polite, smart. intelligent, caring. Everything for him, to make him comfortable, to hug, to listen, to be here. And I am very independent Taurus women! But one day everything changed: he insulted me and I snapped :). Well, was actually funny, but he took it so seriously, i became number 1 enemy to him. Insulting emails, f word, nasty texts even after I apologized.
      He miss me, I know that, but he can’t trust me anymore, how he said.
      And I miss him too. How difficult this – to love a cancer man!

  28. Hi

    I would like to know what a cancer man is really looking for in a women? What type of women does a cancer man look for, in having a relationship for life?

    If there are any cancer men who would wish to reply, I would really appreciate it!

    Thank you.

  29. Hey Jd sorry your not having a good time of it with a cancer guy either and its funny you have said that because i said the same thing to myself yesterday, why should we have to put up with their moods and what does it say about the future because i sure as hell am not going to waste my life top toing around someone hoping they got out of bed the right way that day so it seems like their aint no hope for cancerians but who knows, your right though girl life is too bloody short dont waste it on a man thats draining it all out of you

  30. i want to ask if it’s easy for Cancer men to move on? will they pretend that they have moved on?

    • It’s not easy for them to move on. They love to cling to things with their little crabby claws.. while running sideways to avoid discussing it (crab run!)

  31. I think some times it’s not always true in what they say about compatibility between different zodiac signs. I know of a male Gemini who gets on wonderfully with a female cancer. They finish each other’s sentences even, and have been together for a few years and both so very happy together. I find they are almost identical in being so alike. I guess Gemini being an air sign and cancer being a water sign are suppose to hold some trouble in being together.

    Myself, I believe in ‘soul mates’. Finding that soul mate who is wonderfully compatible with you, no matter what the sign may be. I am an Aquarius women and have been with an Aries man, and a Gemini man in my life. Both very long term relationships.

    The cancer man does seem to have some very lovely qualities. But of course, it’s meeting someone you are very compatible with. Which I do believe – is in finding a ‘soul mate’. Someone that you work wonderfully together with, in being so compatible… I guess is what is ‘key’ here.

    Wishing Everyone finds that very special soulmate in their life! And wishing it for myself as well! Take care! All the best to Everyone!

  32. After reading so many things about Cancer men, I am right with my decision not to have a relationship with him. I am taurus girl who fell in love with this Cancer man. I never felt so much connection with anybody else. but we never ended up as couple though. It was a roller coaster ride of emotion. he was into emotional head games, and i am very much thankful that i am a taurus girl who is strong in dealing with those things. i actually gave him his own dose of medicine. he showed thru subtle hints that i am the one he wanted to marry but what i wanted him to do is to tell me directly that he likes me. so i played really hard to get. but maybe he could not do that. so nothing happened…
    but it’s just so ok now. even if he comes back, i am not gonna accept him anymore. i am done with him. i am done with his emotional manipulation and torture.

  33. Maybe it’s just meant to be, that some of us are to be single for life. Who knows????

  34. You know what I think it is? I think it’s to be ‘ready’ to love again. I really do. That when you are ready, you will then find love.

  35. I am 18 years older than my cancer male friend. I fell for him the moment I laid eyes on him two years ago. We became intimate almost a year ago. It’s been a rollercoaster ride. There are things going on in our lives I rather not discuss but we don’t date. Just have sex and are co-workers. I went out of town for 3 months and thought I would get over him. When I returned we continued like I had never left. He is very different this time. He is more attentive and he use to be very adminant on wearing condoms. I can’t get pregnant and he knows that. He said he had always used condoms with the exception of him. Why do you think he doesn’t want to use a condom now? I am hoping this means my cancer man has falling for me and wants a more meaning full relationship. What do you think?

    • From what I am reading most if not all cancer men are alike. RUN as fast as you can. They will get into your heart, make you fall for them then they will get insecure, selfish and or whatever and leave you like a hot potato. Unless you are the kind of woman that could take them or leave them and extremely strong RUN FOR YOUR SANITY….

  36. Hello Christy,

    Thank you for this great information. I have a wonderful cancer male friend. He expressed wanting to date not that long ago. We’ve been friends a while and the attraction is there. My question is, his birthday is coming up soon and I am wondering what sorts of things would really make it a wonderful day for him. Something that will help build our friendship and let him know I really care and open to spending more time with him. I am Pisces and I sense he is definately afraid of rejection. Any ideas for what can wow him? Thank you for your extraordinary help!

  37. In love with a Cancer Man. We have been..friendly for 4 years, friends for 2 and I realized like a lightning bolt hit me…I was falling in love a year ago. I think…he fell for me before…I did not notice. We both have complicated lives. He had a bad marriage and a horrible divorce . My marriage – also bad and in ruins- also was falling apart- I have been separated over a year- getting divorced . We both have children – his older- mine are younger. He has not said he loves me. He is a dear friend. He does however look at me with eyes of love- does not break his gaze, tries to impress me, tries to protect me…..
    Speaks to me In a gentle and soft tone….does not seek me out..but if we are talking or spend time together…he keeps the conversation going..I nearly always leave an hour late. He tells me private personal things…I know no one or few know…and has tried to help me with the pain I am going through. He does pull closer than push away….
    Something new…not sure…he seems more….in to me….testing the waters more…asking questions & protective.
    Long story- I am friendly with his family – am liked by all..including his mother .
    I think this hurt Cancer…maybe deeply in love with me. I am a Virgo ….and I am ready for the Great Love of my life…I believe it is him…just wish he would kiss me already . I know he has looked at me with love….and averts his gaze….but I catch him…admiring me.
    The Great Love of my Life…after all the pain in my life last 6 years- especially the last 3….. I am excited..afraid…but full off deep , unconditional love for this man….I think he is my soulmate…and I was not sure I believed in that.

    • I am Virgo Sun,Libra Ascendant ,Taurus Moon. He is Cancer Sun, Libra Ascendant, Aries Moon.

      • Hello Christy, I am sorry didn’t mean to post it like a monologue….he and I have both been badly hurt. I am scared …but think he loves me too. I am just handling the push – pull as good as I can. Lately I have been really stressed and needing him more…never sure if I should contact him more or less…..there are moments I wish I could just escape … Vanish with him and spend a bit of time together – just us. We are only friends- but when we are together it lifts us both… even just a few minutes. I am scared how to proceed …any advice you give…I would sincerely appreciate .S

  38. I met a cancer man three weeks ago. He would call me/text me every day. Our calls would last hours. Sometimes he would call me a few times a day. We went on two dates and he didn’t kiss me. I’m very confused by it. I tried to tell him that if he wanted to give me a goodnight kiss, I was okay with it. He told me he was old school. He has become a little distant. One of these days he text me to say I looked pretty in my profile picture on FB. I got a little emotional in our last communication and I told him that I was glad he looked me up on FB and became my friend because I was curious to get to know him and that it mattered that we had a solid friendship. I also told him that I appreciated the fact that he wasn’t trying to jump me like other guys do, but that I had felt the desire to kiss him before. He said he felt the same way about getting to know me, but he didn’t make any indication on whether he ever wanted to kiss me. I feel rejected. He has a strong personality and has criticized me a bit a few times… saying I’m too nervous and too worried about the whole dating process. He basically told me not to read into things. I am a happy go lucky Libra. He’s made me feel insecure a few times…. it’s just twisted because with all that, I’m still curious about him. I like that he is family oriented, but I also feel he’s too guarded to make room for me.

    • Hi Lidia, sorry i have no comment, I just read your post after posting my own and it made me laugh and ask myself if we met the same cancer guy!! good luck

  39. I was madly in love with a cancer man and end up pregnant with his child. Everything was great until I found out he was cheating on me, we got into a big argument a lot of hurtful things were said, I kicked him out and we haven’t spoken since. Now our baby has been born and I have reached out to him and he is completely ignoring me. How do I get him to acknowledge his baby. It’s like he is upset with me as if I did something wrong which I didn’t.

  40. I also like this Cancer guy. We met about 7 months ago but because he was reaally shy, we didn’t have time to talk that day. We started chatting about 1,5 months ago though. Everything started friendly; in the beginning I didn’t even think he liked me at all. Then he started complimenting me little by little; stating that I am really pretty and etc.. As I said, at first I didn’t really think he had feelings for me but then he started ‘dropping hints’. He told me that he really wanted to see me again and he even sent me his concert schedule (we have similar tastes in music). I gave him my phone number to see if he would text or call and he did so! We also met 2 weeks ago; everything went perfectly. At first he was really shy but then we had great connection; both physically and mentally. We also slept together so our chemistry was perfect..

    It has been 2 weeks and I was expecting for this ‘bond’ to grow a bit bigger but it didn’t.. I know he didn’t use me just for sex, I am kinda sure of it but I don’t feel that he has an intention to start a relationship either. We are still chatting every day or every 2 days and nothing’s wrong but he has no intention for a ‘date’ or a ‘meeting’ anytime soon.. I am kinda confused :/
    I guess I have to be patient with a cancer guy or am I wrong? :D

  41. I think,Anytime a Man is continually moody,doing the push/pull…etc,etc…He is not fully satisfied he has the right person.He is lying to himself.A Cancer man wants love so much it seems he’s almost willing to try to make a wrong relationship work.You cant make something work.Either it does or it dosent..Good Luck.and Dont lose hope….Be good to yourself.The right person will come along.

    • You are SO spot on with this statement “A Cancer man wants love so much it seems he’s almost willing to try to make a wrong relationship work” Fantastic insight.. All of it. Thanks for posting!!

      • if he wanted love so much why he would dropped it suddenly? I’m also having the same dilemma with you girls. My cancer man broke up “again” with me, this time he said “he’s busy and we both know it’s time to move on, you have a big heart and you deserve someone who will appreciate you” WTF! all along I thought he’s just having problem at work because he just moved to another city because of it. Sent an email if we can start all over again and I got nothing :'( I damn soo miss him but I dunno if he does still care at all. Please help :-(

  42. Hi christy,

    My question is if a cancer man was with me (taurus) for year and a half, we love each other talked about marriage, kids, practically lived together. Eventually we broke up over arguments and both needing to mature (i got very insecure). Now He has a new gf, the girl I was insecure about and I think it helped him make the decision to end things. Anyways she has a son is quite abit older and none of his friends have met her (all his close friends are mutual friends of ours now) When him and I got together he wanted to show me off to everyone but he’s literally doing and dating the complete opposite of me. Do you think he would ever come back? We love each other and connected so deeply. How can he just be with someone else? Also I saw a photo of him and her and he looks so unhappy and sad and was wearing a shirt I have him. What does any of this mean. Also he has lots of my stuff at his house (he asked me to leave some things when we broke up cause he didn’t want me to leave and never come back. And now he doesn’t respond to me and still has my personal items.

  43. Hi ok so i am a gemini and i am 20 and my cancer man is 37 .Hmm yea so its like whenever i give him any kind of compliment he doesnt say anything.He just acts indifferent and doesnt even say thank you.Its like i never even gave him a compliment.Why would he do that? Please help.i hurts

  44. ok, here’s a question for you: >>>>>>>>>>> I’m a aqua girl who met a cancer guy a month ago, maybe a bit more then that,,, we were texting almost daily, met up once, yes yes, no kiss, no sex, just talk, we were feeling more comfortable and started to flirt, via text :) lol… Ok so now after many conversations, feeling very good with the start of the connection i invite him over, all was good until hours before we were to get together then poof…………… I haven’t heard from him in over a week…. do i just leave it or inquire why,,, i can’t seem to shake this guy from my head, the one thing for sure is that in the short time knowing him he helped this aqua girl feel again

  45. I too I have a problem with this cancer guy.Iam a black womanand in love with this white cancer first we were ok but later,things became okward when I begun falling for him. as soon as I told him hoow I felt about me, he changed and begun to avoid me. we had gone out about three times and i USED TO MAKE HIM SOME COFFEE AND BAKE HIM SOMETHING TO EAT WHENEVER HE WANTED. Things begun to change to worse when every one at work suspected that he liked me too.He used to tease me aandhe even asked me to stop writting to him after we had a fight for him having stood me up. Ituly do love this guy that I have failed to forget him for 2years now.He nevr rejected me nor accepted me he only left me confused by the mixed signals that he gave me.Day and night I pray and cry because I miss him alot. Please help me….please..

  46. My Cancer boyfriend broke up with me 6 weeks ago after I had been a roller coaster for the prior 7 weeks. I am an aries who struggles with midl depression. This is the first guy in a very long time I had true and deep feelings for and it scared me to death. I walled up and pushed his away. I am desperate to repair this now. I have gotten help for the depression and realized how much I must of hurt him with the push pull. He is acting like I broke up with him though. We had no contact for a month and then had drinks at my insistence as friends a week. He seemed happy to be there but strongly resisted going. He said I could have an opportunity to tell him a few things when we met then but now doesn’t want to meet again. How do I show him I realize what i have done and so deeply want to try reunite. He says now that we are just to different. When we first dated I once told him this and he would insist we aren’t.

  47. His ex is back to see his kids. I know he is hurting – but he has totally withdrawn from me.
    Not sure I can wait for him….am ready to just back away completely….I am not a game player…..but I tire of the …push /pull.
    I love him very much…we have a deep connection …but he may be too hurt and afraid to ever move forward with me…there have been many hints, and signs.and clear demonstrations …at least clear to me…but I am tire of this. I think this will be an unrequited love….and I do think he could have been the Great Love of my Life.

  48. ok, i hate talking about myself but here goes. As a cancer man, I am suppose to have a strong attachment to my mom, and i do. Only problem is she is a Pisces who has mental disorders that make her attuned to everything but yet misunderstood by all others. Said i didnt lover her more times than EVEN I CAN REMEMBER! Point is, get to know everything about him, before you get to know him. Find out about his family, especially his mom, if he cant get his emotions straight about her, chances are you will end up being baked at broiling temperatures. Ok side step from that… for those of you who are concerned about the “POOF”, I will try my best to explain. We have a battery. And that battery cannot drop to “0” or we melt down, so we have to recharge. Out battery is used not by physical, but emotional strain. If he “POOFS”, that just means that you or someone around him, sucked up all the energy, normally done because he spends all his time thinking about that someone. Also, this does not mean his recharge place is by himself. He may surround himself with everyone but you, which is the best hint that can be given that he has some amount of feelings for you. Drop him a text saying that you enjoyed his company and that you would love to do it again at his convenience or something like that. Make it clear to him that you also feel for him. BUT BE CAREFUL! I will not give any girl the chance to enter my shell if they are saying they like every boy that they spend time with for 1 day and so forth. Normally you will start out as friends. Get use to spending every minute with him and then him going “POOF” cause something similar will happen during the real relationship and will likely never stop but can be worked on at a later point. You being there when he returns will keep him returning to you. Don’t act like the world was over when he left, but make it known you missed him and everything that(very important) goes with him. Most generic info i can give i guess, just remember that no one is the same, your cancer could be slightly off track from other cancers. He could need more or less and the best way to find that out is his parents/family. Btw, getting friendly with the family is one of the best things you can do when he is not around.

  49. Another thing, I love to have a real discussion. Like you are on one side and im on another and we go at it till we are done, if not the better thing is if you AGREE with him. Ask him if he likes any books, pick one you might like. Read it. Then tell him that while he was gone you read on of the books that he talked about, or anything in general. Might as well make the “books” a blank line and you just fill in w/e. Showing interest in his interest is bound to get him to open up, but if you can, be sneaky about it. Dont go all covert, but maybe if you see a picture of him on a roller coaster with his family or friends and maybe say “I have always wanted to go, would you be interested”. The more he talks about his past, the more likely he will open up to you. Look at it like this as well. He wants to connect with you, but he needs to know that you are just a serious. He will take you on a tour through his past and if you are there at the end, he will most likely let you in. The biggest thing is that it has to be natural, it cant be forced, or he will label you a danger and will do his best to keep his shell closed off from you.
    Something else i read that i have been pondering is the constant, we hit it off, then he retreats. I hope this helps those of you going through that. He is SCARED. YOU scare HIM. I have yet to fall in love, but the idea scares me so much because the change will be so great that i just dont know what to think. My love is not for just anyone, its not in me to hand it out on a silver platter when things “Seem” to be going ok. It means that right now im stable and i dont know what your presence in my life will do to me. I want to know that when i go through the next crisis of my life, i will be stable, and if i feel that thats better off accomplished by myself then so be it. Im very sorry if thats whats happening to you because i cant see that changing unless it comes from within or if some force outside pushes him back in your direction(cant be of your doing though). Basically, you have to go back to the “natural” statement i made.
    Dont give up hope though! Love always finds a way. Feel free to ask anything bout myself btw since I dont know you. 18/19 years old, so i could probably give some perspective for you regarding his teenage years.

    • Hi Jonathan! You’ve read lots of your posts and they make sense! You know your type of cancer male!Talking about mood swings, now I have a question: So my boyfriend and I are together for 4 years and suddenly 3weeks ago he said he wanted to break up bc he can’t give me the future I want(Weird thing is he was the one who always talked about getting married and stuff). This is coming out from NO where. I thought our relationship was very stable and he always showed me how much he cares and loves me ALL the time. I was in shock and accepted it.We still have some practical issues to resolve(such as who takes the cat/dog-we lived together). But I just have the feeling that this is not end of it. Should I call or let him think it over and give him space? (He’s been going through some career issue).
      (I’ve been away for school the past one year and spent 4 months @home on break. We did long distant with ZERO problem). Thank you for ANY advice!!

      • I’m sure his feels insecure as hell. Honestly it is probably a combination of his career(I can’t give you what i want to give you, ie a safe and provided life) and he could also need you to he there and just say the time doesn’t matter as long as we are together type thing. It’s possible he has made up his mind and prioritized getting his career straight and if that’s the case tell him he doesn’t have to leave… Maybe this is where you can step up and show him your the only one for him. He will be mind ****ed cause then he won’t know how to proceed. If you don’t mind, what career issue?

        Sent from my iPhone

    • Hi Jonathan,

      Thanks for the insight. I’m dealing with my cancer bf’s infamous “POOF” move lol we were ok until one day I haven’t heard from him until he got transferred to another city because of work. I thought we’re sailing smoothly because we just had reconciled. he was being honest to admit that he met a girl and got attracted but that just made him realize that he wanted to be with me. Then news about his work came. We were ok he’s busy with preparations and everything and I’m here giving morale support. Last message I received before he called it quits again was, he’s liking the city and settling in and that he’s super busy with work. So I replied and sent another emails. He did not respond again until I asked him is there something wrong or problem that he needs to share or discuss? If he’s not ready I will wait for him and what response I got? He said.. “yeah, I think we both know it’s time to move on. I’m super busy. You have a big heart and you deserve someone who will appreciate you” wtf! All along I thought he’s having problem at work. The sad and crazy part I can’t move on I’m still waiting for him because I have this feeling that he will come back :'(

  50. Ladies, if you would try to google and read so many forums about zodiac signs, Cancer men receive the most complaints from women. It’s just really difficult to deal with them. I had this kind of a mutual understanding with a cancer man before, and the experience was emotionally draining, the push and pull thing and using other people to make you jealous etch, coz he wanted to know how much you are interested with him. jealous creates distance not closeness, right? So i just let it go. He was a waste of time and a total jerk. beware of cancer men!

  51. I just got done reading a lot more about people and their bad experiences with cancer males, let me clarify something. If it smells fishy, it normally is fishy. Dont let yourself be played like a instrument. If you let us do that, we will not bring you to the “level”(for lack of a better term atm) of someone we want to give ourselves to. Because thats what is happening, through the conversations, he is playing with you, and you need to be a little serious, but playful as well. bout 60/40 serious/playful. Cause while we act playful, its all one big test, we are dead serious(or “cold” depending on the person) underneath, dont be fooled. Just look at it like the test that when you pass it you get access to him. The higher the mark, the more he is yours. Get to low of a score and he will place you on the shelf that belongs to all the other girls that he can play with. You have to bring yourself to his level. I say that like this, we dont take nothing from no one that endangers our emotional stability, you should not either, even from us. Make no mistake, going to bed with a cancer to fast will not go well at all. If you did, SLOW DOWN NOW!! Just like we like to preach that our emotions rule us, love is only found for us when sex is delayed so that we can connect mentally. Keep it at second base. Once YOU are sure, not him, because he will never be in any fixed position… God, this is so difficult. Dont miss the signs please. Dont get involved with your heart until you understand him. Thats what im gonna do, just wait for as long as i can so i can connect with them on an intellectual level. This is probably what happened to you if you are going through a BAD dip with your cancer:
    You met, spend time together, probably romantic by the end, then we split. This is because there are 1 of 2 thing happening, we are INFATUATED, or in love. This is a very fine line for us, and ultimately will lead to you being a toy or his women if you stay. Your cancer wants love, and if it isnt love, there will be a lack of INTELLECTUAL connection. It means his body/heart wants you for a fling to “relieve”(sounds so bad…) some stress? Have not and dont plan on doing it but could see it as being some sort of outlet for us i guess. Anyway, just know, his heart is a maze, once you solve the maze, you reach his TRUE heart.(to solve the maze you have to pass the test, this being his intellectual side.) Once you do this he is yours till unfortunate circumstances say otherwise.

    • If you will please read my below scenario you seem to have some valuable insight and I neeeeed it at this point lol

  52. Hey so I’ve been sleeping with a cancer guy for 5 weeks, I am a scorpio women who is very confused!! We have sex like 3 times a week but mostly we just chill 2gether and eat 2gether everynight! Sometimes I feel were so connected overtimes not so much! I think he likes and cares about me because we see eachother everyday even tho I feel like I’m chaseing him lol just spent 3days @ he’s house with my daughter I asked if he wanted us 2 go n he just kept saying stay aslong as you want. I’m in love head over hills in love and he knows it I tell him all the time, I cook for him n looked after him when he was sick n I’ve stuck up for him and just been there for him but the big question is CANCER MEN does he bloody like me?? :/ I mean he said once “I do like you ki” but that’s it lol just can’t read him at all driving me mad but am being patient and giving him space when I sense he wants it and trying everyday 2 prove that I am “THE ONE” I know he’s been hurt n I know its gonna take time but what do u guys think??? Any responce would be appreciated thankyou :)

    • He asks about her day, brings her to special places, and shares his couch space/hugs/heart with her. They also treat women they respect this way, even if it’s a short time fling. So don’t expect anything, just enjoy it.

    • phoneix, They will try to spare your feelings and have a hugh smile on their face when they see you. But please, please becareful with a Cancer man. If you are patient person and can tolerate their moods and don’t take things personally then you will be their perfect partner. Just watch what you say because they are extremely sensitived and give them space when they are in a mood and you will be fine. They are exhausting but addictive. You have to treat them like teenager with mental issues… Best of luck!!

  53. Gosh all that I’m reading sounds so familiar maybe you can help me figure out what my next move is…Here’s our story..I’m a Scorpio female dealing with a cancer male that is so totally confusing..anyways we met through work almost 2 years ago and I remember the initial attraction being so strong but that only lead the casual hook up one drunken night…Think we have maybe hooked up 5 times within the last 2 years..which is not a lot but After the first time we hooked up we kept in contact almost everyday bullshitting about each others opinions on all types of topics…

    Anyways a few months ago we were chatting and he informed me that him and I would never be more than friends/casual hookup bc I have a child and he had NO Emotional connection towards me….He claims he would eventually want kids but starting out a relationship he would not want to share his time with a child.. This screwed me up emotionally so I somewhat backed off.. Well In April I texted him asking how we was its been a while and his response was he started dating someone! This once again was a jab but I didn’t let him catch on to that.. I congratulated him then ended the convo shortly afterwards..After I knew he was dating someone I had to accept it and let go…

    Here’s the KICKER—-Well a few days ago I get a text from him telling me he left the company we are both affiliated with of course I responded wondering what was going on…That lead to texting all day back and fourth. I tried to end the convo but he kept on then invited me to meet him and his mom (whom I’ve never met before) for a drink……The fact that I had fallen so hard before I could not say no so I met up we had a social drink…Anyways on the way to drop him off at his house he said I’m just going to apologize for the way I treated you I was wrong and I’m sorry ..

    I said for what? He apparently started dating a girl who has a child a few months ago but she stopped talking to him because she claimed there was no emotional connection.. DANG KARMAS A BIT##

    I asked him why he was telling me this I finally was OKAY with the fact and he said he had a guilty conscience and was Sorry..
    I didn’t know how to respond I for the first time let him know how bad that one sentence a few months ago hurt me…
    We sat outside his house talking for hours…

    During this conversation he not once said I want to be with you but he did say:

    all along he wanted a steady relationship while I was in front his face the entire time and he was wrong… (him claiming he is wrong is a big thinggg he brags about how hes never wrong)

    He claimed that I was different from all the other girls he has talked to.. Once they stop talking its done they don’t talk but YOUR DIFFERENT its not like that with you..

    For the first time in our 2 years of being friends/w benefits He Finally said he cared about me and didn’t want me to go anywhere..

    I was just so upset didn’t really know what to say…I told him that if he didn’t want me to go anywhere then he would have to
    initiate conversation with me for once…He didn’t like that idea but he went on to open up to me about different situations he has dealt with over the years.. THE BOOK WAS FINALLY OPEN HE SHARED ALL KINDS OF INFO HE WOULDNT HAVE SHARED BEFORE…

    I left his house that Night without messing around at all just feeling closer then we have ever been before…Anyways he was going out of town for the weekend to clear his mind so I told him to hit me up sometime after he got home if he wanted to and he said he would but has yet to :(

    I thought for sure my two year wait was worth it but now Im not so sure… Not even sure what to do if he doesn’t text/call do I finally call it quits?? I mean Cmon I was finally Okay without talking to him everyday and now Im right back to overthinking every little thing…

    IM A SCORPIO so I can usually read between the lines but with this cancer IM LOST!

    Any advice would be greatly appreciated!!


    • First of all, I’m sorry. I read similar things and can only see myself doing it as well, harming people, and that hurts. I can’t say for sure what your crabs problem is. Family issues are a good place to start, how was his parents relationship, cause if there were problems there, he is is determined not to repeat them to the point of never getting married. It’s GREAT that the family likes you, can’t stress this enough. Honestly though, the timing of your call me first thing was kinda off, sorry. During a trip he is not clearing his head, only thinking without interference from everyone. When he comes home, he clears his head, it’s the only possible place outside of parents house/old residence(I mean if he lived in that house with them as a kid or whatever). He was never gonna call right away cause he needed to recharge his battery. With the time difference between this post and yours being significant, i will keep an eye out for your reply on your update if u do one.

  54. thanks for your insight christy…
    this cancer man i liked..i told him about it and the friendship started…we talk online…….he had sort of opened up in front of me via chats…he teased me with other guys i have interacted with…he got jealous when i appreciated another guy in front of him…and he frequently told me that i should’nt use him and all.all was fine..but since few days he is behaving bit weird..he does’nt respond as frequently as he used to….it hurts me…how do i now whats going in his head?does this show he likes me?should i just stop talking to him to see if he bothers for me….when does a cancerian do like this…it drives me nuts

    • Im a Scorpio Women I have a friend well best friend thats a cancer we only been friends 9months but from day one I fell for him we both know we moved to fast friends sex now best friends we see each other every day and if we didnt we at least talked on the phone a hr recently he moved in with me going on 3 months I have feelings for him and im pretty sure he know but hes telling me he don’t see me in that way only friends but he gives mix feelings we sleep in the same bed we have sex every other night its like we already in a relationship just without the title whats going on I want ti to date him so bad is he playing me are he just really like me as a friend hes under me all the time I just cant seem to figure him out

    • Hey Pheonix, If a crab is busy it has nothing to do with you. The extra attention you were getting was just that, extra. Sometime’s people get busy and don’t respond right away- See it took me a while to get with you too! (sorry about that)

  55. I met mr crab 2 years ago it didnt work because i said something that hurt his feelings and I zero wiggling out of it. well We went out again last month twice again OMG it was pure heaven.He blew my phone up that week We spent more time together he didnt want me to leave,but I had to go. I couldn’t lay in the bed and take the day off !Then he backed off and so did I .I ask him did I really mess up somehow and he asked what was wrong i said now your quiet after i spilled the beans and told him how comfortable it felt and made it a point to share the things that were so special bec It was. he admittted his insecurities to me I know I scared him. How do feel such an intensity with a man and like you say POOF. I decided to reach out this past week, sometimes an answer or not . Finally i had to tell him i missed him and I couldn’t hide my feelings anymore , he said he did too. But nothing… I told him I wanted to see him and he sent me a photo of him then a few sweet nothings. I know there are other women interested in this charming intelligent man . I am not going to chase him or feel like a stalker I know they can be shy and sensitive I feel it as crazy as this sounds I can feel his insides and his craving for the touch and tenderness. HE is definitely different from anyone’s vibrations I have ever experienced in society as a whole being in any one’s private space. Hes been hurt I could feel it also he told me bout the x made no bones about it. discussed the fact he is very close to his mother. But noted he felt like i was one of those women who dated alot of men and never stayed home. Yes I have alot of men that are interested in me. I dont give them the time of day. I will make it very clear they are only my friends. I had gotten over this wonderful man and then here he is again and why now i cant get him out from under my skin. . If he feels anything i hope im rating close to his test. How can you though if you have to do all the initiating? Of course nobody like rejection either. I dont let anyone get close to me either being an aries I guess im too sensitive. I dont understand how Ive fallen so hard because i know he misread me or either hes got me all figured out .im not sure which… yes i slept with him I thought i was going to melt but it felt like we had been together forever.and it as natural. Ive never wanted to be close to a man this bad in my life I wouldn’t ever do anything to hurt this man. Any suggestions. We are both very particular I am very fond of a very metro man. This guys is all that and a bag of chips…. so Im not giving up…oh now its back to the sweet names again after the silence. I know I want to see him again. Somebody please help me. He knows I want him… SInce I have seen him I cannot be around anyone else.

    • Oh god, my grandfather is an Aries from west/farm country New York. If you behave anything like him, I can tell you this, slow down. But knowing him, it’s like telling a shark not to attack a bleeding human. 72 years old and he still can’t stop working as a contractor, climbing up on roofs and working 60-80 hour weeks. I think what happened, was you got to close to fast. We think about everything we do. The harder the conversation, the more we think about it. If you had such a big come to Jesus talk, he needs a lot of time to think. And honestly I don’t have an answer for this. It could go either way. Also, no matter what you say, he will always be jealous of those guys, and worried you might say the same thing to them about him being only your friend. And being an Aries, you say what you feel regardless of the surroundings, and can’t beat around the bush. You walk a straight line in life directly towards what you want in everything that you do, while he never stays on one course for a long time. You have to understand, a cancer will do whatever needs to be done to protect you, you come second only to his sense of security, same as you. If he misunderstands your sense of “Charge!” In life for “I will never settle because I have infinite options”, short of you getting serious for marriage type thoughts(has to be natural or it will fail no matter what) with him in the future, and I mean seriously tell him he is your one, I don’t know if there is a chance cause it means he won’t be secure. I commented to Ingrid she might get a second chance, and it seems like that week he wanted you to himself, was the second chance. He was willing to drop everything for you that week, although he probably set it up for this possibility cause I think it was a test. And you left, sorry, again knowing my grandfather he would be raging at me saying that’s because he can’t help it, but he wanted you to be able to survive with just him for a while without anything interfering. If, in his mind, you think he is not number one, he will find someone who looks at him like number one. Remember, you sitting in your chair at the restaurant is important to him, he is watching everything that you find to be not important. Anything less for him is a no and it’s just not ment to be. Remember, be yourself, this cancer will and this sounds bad, treat every other girl he has intimacy with the same. The way he is towards you is not as special to him as it is to you, to him he thinks romanticism everyday, while other guys go for the wam bam thank you mam. You think this means he is the one for you but in reality, you scored high enough for him to let you in enough to show what it’s like and what you just barely missed being yours. The next time he attempts to make him yours, cause its both ways he wants you completely and you need to want him. If not, just understand its not the end of the world and find someone who makes you happy 24/7. Keep us posted.

  56. Just yesterday my cancer guy and I were talking about “love” and falling in love. He told me “make me fall in love with you Hun :)”
    I replied with “and how do I do that?” Of which he replied “I dunno”.
    He’s told me on two seperate occasions that he loves me and he knows that I’m madly in love with him, cause I’ve made it very well known. We are approaching a year since we met and started whatever it is that we have going. He’s talked about us getting married and having a baby. Conversations that were brought up by him. Yet we’re not “together”. He still refers to me as a “friend”, even though we act like we’re together. So my question is… What am I doing wrong? Is he just stringing me along or what? I’m so confused.

      • What if u are best friends and yoy are fwb with a cancer and yall stay together sleep in the same bed but yet he keep saying that we are still friends and that he don’t have feelings for me but we have sex all the time

  57. quisha, you are his sex buddy only. One thing about a cancer man, he will have sex with you as long as you allow it or until a better offer comes. He means what he says…

    • Its just so weird and hard to figure him out its like we in a marriage we together all the time hes under me all day he would get off work and bam hes home under me he gives mixed signals when I dont want to have sex he basically beg and I give in even when I try to talked to other guy’s he start acting strange like his jealous I guess he know im not going no where but I guess all he want is just sex its funn y he say he loves me and im his favorite person in his life besides his two sons and that I come first regardless if he have a girlfriend she have to understand I come first its a trip this lil friendship we have

  58. I am Aqurian girl that has just fallen for a Cancer man, but I am completely confused. I meet him about 5 weeks ago, and we connected instantly, it was like we did not need to talk. We did talk for a bit, but cannot remember what about, it was like it did not matter. We ended up spending the night together after first evening. But I had to leave in the morning because I had an important appointment, and I could tell that he got surprised. But later I invited him to my place for dinner, because I had fallen for him and wanted to show him that I had fallen for him. It was nice but he seemed about cold and distant. After we went out for drinks and to meet his best friend, and we all got along well. We all ended up having a small party at my flat after the bar hopping. But the Cancerman got even more distant, and even asked me where he was going to sleep, and I answered “With me”! He acted a bit jealous and seeking attention. And me Aqua girl did not understand 100 % what was going on and the Cancerman needs at the time. I was just beeing myself, talking, giving attention in a friendly way to his friend and not giving 200 % attention to Cancerman. Well, Cancerman and I spent the night together, and he stayed for a while, but then had to go to work. Two days later I asked if he wanted to meet up for a drink, because we were both going to different dinners and after going out, so I sent him a text message “Hello beautiful man, wanna meet up for a drink later?” And he answered maybo so. So later on I asked him since I was in town, he never replied. But later on I meet Cancerman and his bestfriend in the same bar, and Cancer man was so drunk, and his bestfriend was so embarresed since Cancerman did not answer my message, but his friend said he was too drunk. His bestfriend confessed to me, that Cancerman wants to meet a girl he can connect with and he felt like he connected with me, but was confused when I left early the first morning, even though I explained that I could not stay longer because I had an appointment. Two days later Cancerman wrote me a text message where he apologized that he did not answer my text message, that he prefers to be alone when he gets drunk with his friends, and that he sometimes can seem cold and detached, that I should not take it personally. Can you help? I am clueless…I have really fallen for him…Is there any point for me to try to win him….or is this a lost battle?

    • Man, this sounds bad, I say that because I really don’t know how I would feel. Only way I could help would be for me to imagine the feeling and trying to give a possible solution to help it. But this one sounds like it has a lot of variables. You say spend the night, forgive me for being dense and having to clarify this, but does this mean you got intimate or you simply fell asleep together. Cause I don’t see how I could want a connection with someone and sleep with said person in one night. This means the conversation was REALLY IMPORTANT, like I can’t imagine, and your attitude towards it would have stumped me if I found that out. But sidestep from that cause that’s the worst case scenario in which I think it’s over, the emotions were to much. Not to mention you would have to be his first girl to do that with to illicit that sort of emotion…and if that’s the case he will never forget you regardless. Now, that’s a, b is, did he wake up alone that morning? Did he have selective hearing at that moment and ignored you having to leave…either way, the morning is just as important if not more important than the night, because that’s were he reconfirms w/e his feelings for you are no matter what the result. Don’t forget this, he never stops thinking while he is awake. C, how did you hit it off with best friend? Did you approach it like you approached the crab? If he felt that you might have been able to do this with just anyone, he might question his connection with you, because its not just anyone for him. My sister is Aquarius, she often misses the moments to stfu or how to lead a conversation with regard to who is around her, applying appropriate “vibes” to everyone. He might have felt like you were playing with him like you would a toy…and not to mention, he is a very serious person. That’s why he doesn’t like being drunk with you ATM because that would expose some of his insides(crab meat). You have to let him know he is the one if this is how it’s gone so far. You have to remove all doubt from his mind! Any leftovers will just spread again like a disease. It might be to late and the disease has already spread to far. Also, it’s not the end(I think, basically you might have another chance). Show him that there is more to you than your free flowing attitude, hope that doesn’t sound bad. You have a free spirit, he is very grounded and he doesn’t tolerate anything that changes that in a negative way for him. Show him that the person you are with him is not the same person you are with others, as weird as that sounds. It shows he is special…sounds childish right? He wants a Cinderella happy ending and that involves a lot of colorful backgrounds surrounded by roses. Not in the grand way that a Leo would like, but a quiet, down to earth love that was as unyielding as gravity. Similar to twilight by Stephanie Meyers, Jacobs world becomes tied to the daughters like she is gravity. Like that. He felt it the first night, but that morning stumped him bad, then your attitude around his friends made him insecure. At this rate I would say by the end of the month it would be over if there is no change. Don’t give up and keep us updated if we can help you or if this did.

  59. does a cancer guy always mean what he say? like posting i love you on FB. The girl he claims his gf does not have good reputation. she has had many boyfriends and she is not at par with his educational achievements. the girl has also other bf, aside from him. I thought a cancer man is choosy when it comes to girls. so i am thinking if they really have relationship or just for a show to annoy me. but i am also thinking that they really have relationship because they’re always together.

    • What? Is there some sort of relationship between you two? If he knew about her cheating, and still dates her, walk away. He has issues you don’t want to involve yourself with them. I can’t stand drama, and I don’t understand why he would encourage it. Tell him straight what your feelings are if you want real answers. And pay attention to his body language, if he is closed to you, know you are on his mind. A crab in defense, not attack mode, will want to protect himself from confrontation, but I can’t say your relationship with him was good if he is willing to go through such lengths to get away?

    • reading also from forums, it seems like taurus woman and cancer man are made for each other. in my own experience, i never felt intense connection with any guy except this cancer guy i met last year. i felt like he completed me and he’s the one i wanted to marry. but then nothing happened… we did not become couple. he was way too confusing. giving a lot of mixed signals and manipulating your emotion. i was like, does he like me or what? but he hinted through songs that i am the girl he wanted to marry. until now i am still thinking about him. we do not have any communication anymore. there was a time, the last time we saw each other, he conveyed his message through a song that he would come back to me. well, i do not know if that’s for real or i am just assuming. i mean, a guy should be direct for a girl to know his real intention. but the cancer guy for 1 yr, he was never direct so he was really so confusing. and i am not the type of a girl who would pursue a guy and do actions that show my love unless we are already gf/bf.

  60. Ok I’m going through a Divorce and met ths cancer man It was like love at first sight, we was together every weekend for 7months , the divorce is still going on because my husband is not wanting to let go , I met all of his family and they fell in love with me , well to make a long story short he stated my situation was stressing him out and he needed space, which I gave him he kept in touch to see how I was doing daily then it became twice a week , I ask him had he met someone else and he stated he is now talking to someone, I stated if you wanted to see other you could’ve Said that not holding me onto a string while you test the waters, both of our families are so hurt that we are not
    together , that now his mother won’t allow another lady to come to her house. She said that her son knew she didn’t get attached to people easy and that I’m her daughter she never had. So hurt that I fell in love with his man and he has moved on any advice? But he will ask family members when I come around did she mention anything about me and they states no you don’t even come up and he seems not to like I don’t play him and mind

      • Was he the reason it failed? I can’t help but point out that we take everyone into account when they are not on our s*** list. He could be feeling immense guilt. Could actually be afraid, so to speak, that the same thing could happen to him. Is he still talking to the other women currently? I don’t know how to give advice when I don’t know the type of person you are to know if it will even work at all. I say that because I can manipulate and read most situations…and I might be able to give you some tricks you could use to nudge him and see where he is for your sake, not his. At this moment, you drew the short stick IMO so I wouldn’t mind telling you if your interested. Your free to email as well, it’s in the comments below. Or if you prefer this way I’m ok with that to. Please don’t let the thought of getting these tricks make you lie to get them, i don’t want anyone hurt or played with.

  61. I’m a Cancer male and I’ve read almost every single one of these posts. I’m 24. Let me break it down. I don’t really use the term boyfriend/girlfriend: I use the term “friend” or “good friend” if I’m dating. I think people like to label things and labels bring all sorts of connotations and expectations with them. I don’t want to have to live up to some rules that supposedly govern a relationship. I don’t like rules and authority imposed on me. In past situations, I’ll really like someone and then do the whole chase thing, and then once I have them, I’m over it. I was thinking about this the other day and talked about it with my FB. I think that may be why we can all of a sudden lose interest. It’s like we build this image of someone up in our minds and then it’s never like that and then we get bored, or it becomes too easy and the challenge is gone. I have also allowed myself to get hurt by a Cancer so I know how it feels, but it wasn’t her their fault, I built up this image in my mind of what I thought we should be and that’s not what it was. I feel like that’s what most of the posters here have done. When I fuck, even in a ONS, I like being intimate, kissing, cuddling, as if we’ve been together for months because that’s what gets me off, not the actual act of sex itself. Unfortunately, people like to misread things and think you’re either A – Too clingy or B – the love of their life. That’s why during pillow talk or before I talk about how I’m not looking for a relationship even though we might be having sex like that. Obviously what people hear and what they feel is not always in harmony, hence the confusion. Also, if I trust someone (which I haven’t found, except for people bound by ethics laws – I swear, lawyers and doctors know more about me than anybody) then I will do anything for them. Again, this might seem like I love you, I do, but not like that necessarily.

    When I like someone and they’re HOT I’ll usually ignore them and treat them like I don’t care about them. When I like someone and I think I have a shot, I’ll tease them a lot. When I’m being friendly people say I’m flirting. That’s why friends think we’re making moves on them, we’re not. So just to make that clear, Ignore = thinks you’re hot Tease = likes you Flirt = just friends

    I like things that happen organically and innocently. I don’t think sex on the 1st date is bad at all, if it happens organically, unexpectedly. I’m not in to adultery and I don’t get that, however I would probably sleep with a married woman if she was hot and I was single ;)

    The way to navigate your relationship with a Cancerian is to not take them literally. Take us seriously because like the other dude said, we are dead serious, but not literally. Look at the entire scope of what’s going on. Cancer is the core sign of emotions, emotions are created by the mind. Can you imagine how much strain someone has if they’re constantly using their mind? 24/7 the mind working away? We are not “moody”, we are constantly thinking. That’s why going back home to Mom for the holidays is so fun, we don’t have to think as much. That’s why we don’t answer our phones all the time. Or completely “fall off the map”. We have to rest our brains. Unfortunately this can lead to depressive states but all we need is inspiration or a “mind puzzle” to get us back on track.

    Look, Cancerians live in the 1950s in their heads. I love movies created during that time, I love how people in movies spoke back then, how they dressed and how they did things. If I ever allow myself to fall in love I want it to be like that. I want the music to swell in the background as we kiss, I want us to just hold each other as the camera pans up. Our dialogue must be nothing short of a Kate Hepburn and Spencer Tracy film. That’s how you win a Cancer, classic, witty, ballsy, beautiful. And if you’re not that then don’t try to change or feel bad, you guys can still be friends.

    And finally just for fun I’d like to know what celebrity girls other Cancer men like. For me it’s: Eliza Dushku (marry me), Diane Kruger, Angelina Jolie, Catherine Zeta-Jones (back then), Jennifer Lopez, Megan Fox (marry me), Zoe Saldhana, Renee Zellweger was cute.

    • Ehh, it changes all the time. After what you said about the 1950s I’m gonna hold off my answer cause it might be different after those movies. I’m beginning to divert away from blockbusters and celebs that play in them cause it is like a worn rag. And don’t forget you people with confusion, we say what we think you want to hear as well(normally right). So if we say one thing but our actions say otherwise, that’s like saying 2+3=4. Cease the current sex and whatever, and tell him he needs to figure out what he wants, as well as figure out what YOU want, and make it clear. We don’t know what we want till its gone. Show us that being with you is like being in a bottomless ocean instead of shallow pool so we can fall forever in love with you. The best way to do this is to live like this. Just like we make you solve our puzzles, make some for us to solve(dont play games though, puzzles and games are different and we hate games, or at least I do). Like guy above me said, we think 24/7, the moment we wake to the moment we sleep. If you give us nothing to think about, we FIND something to think about. And when that happens the image we have built up in our head about the relationship gets scrutinized by ourselves till we warp and destroy it. Scary, I know but don’t lose hope, as long as you are not shallow or show that since we’ve been gone, you have become a bottomless person. But don’t be confused and let him jump right back in bed on day one when he does show back up, this just means he is interested in a quicky. Remember, keep him interested by being interesting. PS. When we say love, we are sneaky. Love could mean the general form of love, not romance love. We enjoy being with you but not permanently, and we don’t let that stop us from making the most of the time we have.

  62. Well I’m not contacting him like a lunatic at this point he needs to get off his ass! I worship the ground this man walks on. I can’t do anything but think about him .how damn long do I wait? .this isn’t a game this is real . Nobody can light a fire anywhere compared to him.

  63. Jonathan, I have read your posts and you are dead on from my experiences. Cancer men are very confusing and selfish. Sorry but if you enjoy the chase then after you catch them you dump them? How can ya’ll do this but you do it. The cancer man I am involved with the past year is 31. So I need you to answer this: We meet and have sex then he will ignore me a few days, then it repeats over and over. We break up over it and a few weeks later he is texting me.. Why does he keep coming back? Now remember this has been going on for over a year now. He is extremely good looking and stuff so it would not be hard for him to find another. He says he backs off because he knows I feel more for him than he does me.He said he does care about me and I am not just a F#$# buddy but won’t tell me what I am to him. He says he doesn’t know. ok… So then why does he come back? Could it be that he really does care a lot but is scared of his feelings? or is it just selfish sex and he could care less about my feelings?

    • Take away the sex. It’s a double edge sword though. If you want him regardless of how he feels dont do this and just do what your doing. Ultimately, I can’t tell you what you want to know. Imagine when you are looking at him, you are looking at an ocean view that goes to the horizon and know that it is just as deep. W/e his actions are, they reflect his thoughts whether he wants to or not. You just have to be able to read him, and to do that you have to know his past. For cancers, the past defines us. We all seek the same thing for the most part, but a complicated past can twist and warp our sense of how to achieve that. Try to get close to him. Learn his past. By the way, I cannot help but say I would have to knock the s*** out of him if he is being malicious. The statement that he backs off because he knows how you feel means that regardless of the pains he is causing you(cause he still is with you) he still does it. Means he is thinking about you, but is more interested in releasing his tension. Like I said, past defines us, look at both his and yours, maybe yours is to different and he feels he won’t be able to connect… That’s the main thing we seek, a connection that’s feels like it was destiny. Our ultimate dream is to find a partner that will make everyone else turn bland. And that is through connection(as long as past is not complicated). If the past is complicated, he has to be the one to come to the decision to fix it. I’m emotionally unstable and I know the cause, but I don’t feel like letting it go because I’m still angry at the person who caused it, as well as myself for being weak and allowing it. Hope he is not tied up by a bad experience, and just be sure to show him that you are not the same as every other girl, because that’s how we look at them, other girls who could not exist for all we care as long as it doesn’t impact us. Btw, all this is my imagination at work with regards to scenarios, give me some real details about him and I might be able to narrow it down. Even after all this there are still more possibilities because its not just him but you as well. Sorry, but It’s a possibility you might have done something or have a personality that caused him to place you in that “zone”, for lack of a better term.

  64. Jonathan, I appreciate your reply. I do know about his past and that is not pretty. And there are issues we both have that I would rather not spell out because it will only change your opinion and that opinion may not be based on your knowledge of being a cancer man and just be your opinion. So I guess what I am reading in what you say is he may not be able to let go of things from his past to move forward with me or to even allow himself to really care about me. I am normally very good at reading people. ( I am much older than he is). When I look into his eyes I can see that he cares. He knows this and sometimes will look away quickly or stare at me when he thinks I am not looking. He seems like such a good man, I knew him a little before we started this and everyone loves him. I would just hate to know after a year of this that it’s just sex for him……..

    • My mother is diagnosed with about 5 different mental disorders that would make anyone wary of a possible meltdown at any point. In the 3rd grade, life was perfect, she was on the right medication and was the best mother she could ever be for me. Truly a golden year for me in my memories. In the 4th grade, she nose dived and because my father and her were divorced, due to the illnesses, she began to manipulate me and my sister for her personal gains. Told me and my sister horrific things that happened in the dark part of the separation as well as family skeleton that would not have been revealed till 10 years later at the the earliest. The most influential person in my life, used me and my love for her, stretched me as far as she could, then let go and blamed me for her problems, and moved 3 states away. I don’t want to love anyone right now. Not that I cant love them, I don’t want to, the feeling of opening up again and giving everything only to be stretched and let go is so frightening, I will be single for the rest of my life to prevent it. And I’m OK with that. Now, I’m only 19, so the future holds many opportunities, and I can’t say I won’t love someone, only that I don’t want to(very conflicting feeling right now seeing as my goal in life is as mentioned in my first post to you). If this is where your man is, then I am sorry and hope he can heal soon. If you could become someone he would open up to(i got the feeling you weren’t at that stage), and I could be dead wrong. You might already be there. If you are, and he is still with you, I could see myself, at this stage waiting around 5 years before it gets obviously serious. There is no dating for me, either you have a chance, and I am with you until I decide moving forward will result in the perfect ending. In a nut shell, he is scared/scarred. And yes, he won’t move forward until he knows its going to end just the way he wants it to. At this point, assume you have a chance, because he is with you. Ask him and tell him how you feel all the time. Show him you are the one who will accept every part of him, light AND DARK(biggest fear is you will reject us because of this). Be the person that lights up his world. Maybe you already are and he just wont tell you(beginning to think this more and more). How much time do you SPEND together, without the sex? Home is the center of our world, gravity pulls us to it. If you can become a part of that, I say you are in the clear, so to say, if not then you are not as close as you want to be. Also, be able to relax. I sit in silence at home for hours on end just enjoying the peace and quiet. Do this with him, spend the day at his home, and read a book? Nice, quiet, enjoyable and you both spend time just enjoying the PRESENCE of each other, believe me this will get him wanting you there more and more. The ability to keep his world, that he defends so strongly, the same way it was before you were there while at the same time improving it. Hope this helps.

  65. Jonathan, you poor thing. We as parents do not realize not only what we do but what we say affect our children forever. And you are only 19… You seem much much older.
    His parents are divorced but he had an ok childhood. His Dad did cheat but it was after the kids had gotten older and moved out. His Mom is a mental case at times but he is close to her as well as his Dad. My childhood was fine and just normal stuff in it. Don’t judge this by what I am going to tell you. Please. We can never be together. We both are, and I hate to say this, married.. We work together and text often and see each other when we can. There is also 15 years difference in our ages. I am the older one. He had a brief affair a few years ago and went thru a messy seperation but they got back together and have a child. We didn’t mean for this to happen and could have fought it but we are human. I’ve never felt this connected with a man before. Both of our marriages are not horrible so not sure other than this strong connection as to why we cheat on them. But that isn’t the issue. Of course we both feel guilty but he really gets a bad case after we have sex and goes into his shell for a couple of weeks. Then he is back texting me and talking to me at work. At first I would get so upset and think I had done something. But soon realized that was just him. From what I have read about Cancer men they protect their home life even if it’s bad they will forever stay with their spouse. Honestly I don’t want him to leave her. I care a great deal for him and have helped him work thru things in his life and he knows he can trust me. He has broken up with me at least 7 or 8 times over 13 months and keeps coming back after a week or two. And no, I have not given him money so it’s not that either. See I almost died this year after some major surgery and still recovering from that. When we were able to get together I made him promise me that he would be able to handle his guilt because I couldn’t handle the emotional rollercoaster ride any more. He promised and said he did care about me, then about two months later he backed off some but not completely like he usually does. But now things are fine again.
    Since we are both married and are not planning to leave, I do know it will end for good one day. I just want to know that I was cared about and it wasn’t just sex. Could it be after a year and the rollercoaster ride he has put me thru? Women want to men to care about them or love them and it not always be just for the sex like it was in the beginning….. When I am much older and I am sittig in that rocking chair in the nursing home and thinking of this man I want good memories instead of I was being played….

    • Im sorry, I didn’t intend to make it about me in that post if it seemed like that, I was only trying to give an example of how it might have affected him and were his thoughts might be. If I had to say, it would be that you two either are the forbidden fruit for each other(human nature, oh well!) or, that you are the one he wanted. Let me link back to myself for this one. My biggest fear, is my indecision. My inability to stick with one thing, be on one path, and mean what I say regardless of how much time passes. I can see this exact thing happen to me, fall in love with one, but through life, change, and then as a result, fall in love with another. Honestly it seems like he just didn’t meet a broad array of women to find what he really wanted. He loves his wife, has, does and will continue to. BUT, he loves you as well. If you were to have met him first, it would be you. That withdraw after the contact is him imagining you two together without anything in your way interfering(the spouse). He will always do what he feels is right, and I can’t say that it will end well, but w/e you do, don’t ruin your life for him. In the end, he goes home to his wife, sorry I have to say it like that, but if he is still in a healthy relationship with her, than it means that his feelings for you are genuine because he would never risk that for something fake. Unless he is twisted in his idea of marriage after his father and that affair. It’s possible he feels guilty for it and as such walks that route in order for some sort of repentance in the form of living the experience. I hope things end the way you want and my prayers are with you and yours, but IMO he does and will always love you.

  66. Jonathan, Also, young man open yourself up to love. It’s a wonderful experience even if you get hurt a few times. That is a part of life. Also know that what your Mom said and did was because she is mentally ill and had nothing to do with anything you nor your sister did. You seem like a very smart young man and have a lot to offer the right woman some day. Go out and find her. You may have to go thru a few before you find the perfect one for you. Don’t settle as I have done. If you do not date and fall in love or strong like and sometimes either break someones heart or have yours broken then you will never know if it’s true love or not. If it’s meant to be it will be. Also do not think you will never be a good father. I have know several men and women that had horrible experiences as a child but are wonderful parents. I wish you well young man and if you need to talk I am here..

  67. Thank you for the advice. Like I said, not cant, don’t want to. If I had to say anything regarding it, I would say I’m happy that I decided to take this position now so I prevent problems later. A cancer who doesn’t take his time is an unhappy cancer down the road. I would rather wait and experience the firsts before I decide on who to go to seconds for if that makes sense and I can’t do that carelessly or more people end up hurt.

  68. Jonathan, I have thougth about your reply yesterday. The possibility of him being in love with me sort of opened my eyes. But looking back over the past year and reading how Cancer men are, you may be right. He does have a healthy relationship with his wife and has told me he didn’t know why he was doing this when she was being so good and doing nothing wrong. And that he didn’t want to hurt her. But he keeps coming back. I also never thought about the possibility “That withdraw after the contact is him imagining you two together without anything in your way interfering(the spouse)” Could that be true? Maybe and then the guilt of doing this to his wife after what he put her thru in the past. Too much for him to handle at times. He did say one time “what good can come from this if it continues? It will be just like my Dad and his friend, together for years and she will never leave her husband.” I told him that I wanted what his Dad’s “girlfriend” has. That kind of relationship. He is in his early 30’s and that is still young to handle all this emotions as well as being the emotional cancer. He was in the military and did have a lot of girl friends. He is very good looking and the women at work are all crazy about him. But as Cancer men do not open up to many people. He took a while to open up to me and does now to a point. I on the other hand did not have any experiences as I married my childhood sweetheart…. I do realize he will always go home to his wife and me to my husband. I do not regret one minute of this even though I know it is completely wrong. I met a man that I have fallen in love with, that I have a strong connection with and feel that it was meant to be. Realizing that there are things in our lives we want and need but can’t have.
    I have always wanted a Cancer man’s opinion and thank you for helping me out!

    • Before I go any further, are you happy right now? I can’t help but say that there are underlying emotions to this man that could be both bad and good depending on you. But it would require you to talk with a complete stranger about what you really want, and you might not even be ready for that just like me with love. If you feel like it email me at, if not dont sweat it and enjoy your time with both of your loves :)

  69. Yes he’s with the other woman and was told she is married to , per his mom and him i was the best he had might and he wasn’t use to a woman like me. I,m a good person and when the family met me they fell in love with me I really fell bad for this other lady because they won’t accept her because they are so attached to me , he calls to check on me weekly , but it hurt that he just broke it off like that no warning and ask for space and weeks later he’s dating this other lady. I was looking forward to a future with him after my divorce and he promise to wait and didn’t

    • Ugh, drop him. Forget the tricks. Walk away from him. I’m gonna venture a guess and say you are not the first married women either? This guys got a taste of the forbidden fruit problem. He gets off taking you away from your husband and comforting you in your time of vulnerability. To be honest, I think the only reason why he still talks to you is because his family. Enjoy your time with them if you want or just back out slowly. The things your telling me scream to me that he is someone you don’t want to be involved with, regardless of what your attachment to the past is. The moment you find someone else, he will be back trying to have a go at the challenge. Your change will make you more “interesting” again. That’s what my opinion is anyway. I pray you move on soon and find someone better. Don’t forget, cancers give the same treatment to our partners, before sex comes in, and those we respect deeply(females). It should not be hard for him to treat you like your the only girl In the world if he is the type of person I think he is.

  70. hey guys please help me figure this out….
    this cancer man i liked..i told him about it and the friendship started…we talk online…….he had sort of opened up in front of me via chats…he teased me with other guys i have interacted with…he got jealous when i appreciated another guy in front of him…and he frequently told me that i should’nt use him and all.all was fine..but since few days he is behaving bit weird..he does’nt respond as frequently as he used to….it hurts me…how do i now whats going in his head?does this show he likes me?should i just stop talking to him to see if he bothers for me….when does a cancerian do like this…it drives me nuts
    what are the sure shot signs that show a cancer ma…n likes you…will he just leave it even if he likes the girl? please guys help

    • It’s not that easy, there are no sure shot signs. I’m a firm believer that everyone starts out the same for the most part, and it’s the environment and lessons you learn at certain times that makes you who you are. One thing for him could be another for me, and unless you know the environment he grew up in, it’s just speculation. Also, when we play, we make it SOUND like we are playing, IMO, to cover up that It is a very serious discussion. Appreciating other guys is something we don’t feel like sticking around and doing. Everything he did was a test regardless. “and he frequently told me that i should’nt use him and all.all was fine.” All was not fine. He has a fear of being used an thrown away. A fear, to such a degree that you are losing him as I type this. He would rather be alone than risk you ditching him. Something about your past relationships and some small detail in, how you communicate or what you communicated, with him has him worried. Understand, he wants to be in love and married more than you know, but if it don’t stay in the lines all the way to the end, he is ok with walking away if it means finding one that will. Plus, idk how the moon looks elsewhere, but I’m seeing a full moon, and can feel my mood changing into bleeeeeegh. He might be in one of them. But still, follow up n making sure you tell him, he will be different from the others. Imagine this, although it might be irrelevant. He is a giant bottle, and in that bottle is a liquid that represents the love in his heart available for his dream spouse, it doesn’t get a refill. Now, your goal is to be a giant bottle that can hold all of the liquid. He knows and remembers vividly, everyone he ever gave some to. The more he gives you, the more he thinks, your IT. Only by being just as SERIOUS, about your potential relationship, remember the future needs to be thought out ahead of time for us, we pictured you walking down the isle the moment we gave you some from our giant bottle. Overall, what I thinks going on is this: he gave you some out of the giant bottle, looked down the road, and didn’t see it working. Best option, evaluate yourself, and go admit some possible wrongs, get some wrong on purpose that mean nothing and that should annoy him enough to tell you what they are that is bothering him. Tell him that how can he expect to go any further if he won’t open up on the things that matter in the here and now(dont think the past is irrelevant though!). Unless this goes against your personality, and if he can see the silver lining, then you are back on track.

  71. I will love the chance if he try to come back to let him know how I feel and then turn him down men have to realize you don’t go around misleading ladies especially when u have daughters to ‘ this man made lots of promising that he didn’t fulfill I was pick up on a old charge I knew about now he’s calling me to assist I ask why your lady not taking of this that what she is there for to help u in the time of need

  72. This is a question to “Thewayiis”.

    I would really like to know the answer to this. Why would you ignore a women whom you feel is hot? You’d think if you found a women hot, you’d like her? And be attracted to her? Want to talk to her? Get to know her? Or; you don’t like hot women, for a particular reason? Or… you are shy? Just curious is all, as to why you ignore hot women. Do you feel intimidated by them? Or feel you don’t have a chance with a women who is hot? So, you then ignore her because of it?

    And why would you flirt with someone who is only a friend? You’d think you’d want to flirt with someone whom you liked more then a friend? A person you only like on a friendship basis, you wouldn’t usually wish to flirt with, would you? Because you don’t like them more then a friend? As I said, I was just curious.

    Take care!

    • Hey Miss Curious,

      Good questions. Like a crab, Cancer’s (well, me) like to walk sideways. For me I think it’s about surrounding myself with sure bets that I might not necessarily want rather than unstable/risky long shots that I really want. That’s a very broad generalized idea of what I think might drive my actions unconsciously in regards to your question.

      Consciously when I see a super hot woman and I’m EMOTIONALLY and PSYCHICALLY attracted to her, I just kind of become over aware of myself. I feel like there are cameras pointing at me. I don’t think I’m super attractive so I don’t think I’d have a chance with her. So rather than be rejected, I’ll ignore her. Cancer is the sign of the Moon aka the mind, so we’re like computers. People say we’re intuitive or psychic – we’re not. We’re just good at playing out a situation in our minds based on all available data. It’s predictive deduction based on past outcomes and current input. Doesn’t mean we’re always right though, even if we hate to admit that. For us, things have to make sense logically (or what we deem logical). So if I don’t think I’m handsome and a hot girl is interested in me – there’s something wrong with her and so I cannot/should not be with her. But here’s the kicker: when I have been “dating” a woman I found super hot, my attraction to her goes away and I start to think she really isn’t that beautiful if she’s going out with me. That’s when the disappearing act comes. I actually remember being in the middle of sex with a hot French girl and I’m thinking “I’m over this”. I must also say that I never approached them (I was ignoring them), they approached me. So yes, you could say I’m a little intimidated by them.

      Okay, now this part is gonna sound bad but…in terms of FBs or FwBs, these are hot girls that I’m NOT EMOTIONALLY attracted to, but I like to keep around for security purposes. Many of the posts I’ve seen here seem to be from women that I would personally class in this category. That’s why the guys are so hot and cold. If he really loved you, he’d put a ring on it ASAP! If he just likes the ego boost of having sex with somebody attractive, he’ll call you. Of course it won’t just be sex because that’s too common/trashy for Cancerians. No, you two will go out sporadically, do something non-sex related a few times just to mix it up. Doesn’t mean he wants a relationship/marriage.

      As for the flirting, it’s not as if I do it on purpose (not consciously anyway). People just seem to take my friendliness as flirtiness. I think it’s because of the little bit of teasing that we like to do. When Cancer’s are close to someone on any level (friends, dating) we like to tease them the same way people who are flirting do. I think that could be the cause for confusion. Also, because there’s no romantic pressure with friends, we can be more open with them and more playful. I smile and laugh a lot when I talk to friends and while I’m NOT a touchy feely person, I’ll hug or touch a friend more often than someone I want to date/sleep with.

      Having said all of that there are times when there’s a balance. Where there’s a hot girl, who I’m emotionally attracted to and who I’m not scared of approaching because in my mind I believe I have a chance. This is usually, the undercover hot girl – women who don’t know how beautiful they are. Then I go after them like a missile hahaha.

      And just a side-note: many people think Cancerians are stuck up or snobs; we’re not, we’re just shy or we think you’re super-hot and we have no chance with you.

  73. thanks a lot…jonathan..
    does a cancer man come back if he likes the girl….or he simply wont care?and if he likes the girl..does he observe her and all?

  74. Good answer, Thewayiis. I believe it’s all about falling in love. Do you agree? That’s the way it’s always been for me. But, maybe I’m an old fashion gal. The only relationships that I have ever been in that were intimate, were committed relationships where we were both in love. Myself, I may be quite odd to others, I don’t wish to be intimate with a man that I am not in love with. But, that’s just me. To each their own in life, I always like to say. I am not in a relationship now, and have been single and divorced for a number of years. I wasn’t interested in a new relationship, I was enjoying being single too much, I guess. Of experiencing life alone, without a partner. And I have and still am.

    It’s nice to be independent and experience that in being single. So with me… intimacy only happens when I fall in love. Otherwise, not interested. I am Aquarius. Am I so alone? Of only wishing to be with a man when I am in love with him? Is that so strange and odd and peculiar? Are there any others who are like me, too? Or not? I’m wishing one person would respond and say; “hey! I’m exactly like that too! I know how you feel, I’m the same!” Guess it would be nice… just to feel that I am not so alone in this world, in being this way? :)

    Maybe that is the type of man that I am looking for. Someone who can relate on a deep level with me in this regard. Where sharing intimacy has to involve being in love and… DEEPLY. Doesn’t anyone fall in love anymore? :) Maybe it’s just that it’s been a long time since I have. Four years, actually. Maybe that is a long time. I have fallen in love, three times in my life. All quite deeply too. Maybe it’s time for me to fall in love again. ;) Maybe…..

    Thank you for your wonderful reply! I wasn’t expecting something so beautiful as to what you wrote. You answered on all levels. I didn’t realize that a Cancer was such a mind sign, especially being married to a Gemini mind sign, for many years. I was totally unaware of Cancer being a mind sign. I learned a lot from your reply. Thank you, again. It was very informative and very well written.

    So now I know a cancer much better then I have before. I have been studying the Cancer sign for awhile because… I know someone who was and I was quite taken by him. So he had my curiosity in not really remembering knowing too many cancers in my life. I am a mind sign too, being Aquarius. No wonder I was so interested to know this cancer man better! There you go! I guess mind signs like to stick together. ;)

    Your answer has seemed to only have me understand myself that much better. Of what I am looking for in a partner. I need someone… DEEP. :) That’s what it is. Who feels ‘deeply’. And I guess… would feel deeply for me as well. I think it’s just because it’s been so long since I had a relationship – in that I really, really didn’t want one for the longest time. I don’t think it’s because I couldn’t of had one. I think it’s just because I didn’t want one. And thus… I didn’t fall in love because of it – I’m sure! Because it doesn’t seem difficult for me to fall in love, in experiencing it 3 times. So, I guess I’m not in a relationship because I honestly don’t wish to be in one. And until I really do, I won’t be. I think maybe you have to feel that NEED to be in one. And, I didn’t feel that… at all. Or maybe… you just… ‘FALL’ in love? Where you are not looking for it? It just happens to you?

    I think sometimes too, you have to be ready and willing to open yourself again to wish to let someone in. I think so. I came from a very long relationship, and that was long enough… to maybe need a long break, I think. To experience being alone and single. To be FREE. And I think it is true… that when you wish to love again, you will find love. You have to want it. If you don’t quite want it yet, you won’t find it, of course. You have to be ready and willing to let someone into your heart again. To allow someone DEEPLY into your heart and life. And if you are holding back, then of course you aren’t going to meet anyone in allowing them to do that. So I guess that is what I am finding out now, by just corresponding with you a little here, and reading quite a bit on this site.

    I guess it’s to be willing to open yourself again. That is the case I am seeing now with me. I didn’t wish to. Thus – why I was single for a number of years. Didn’t feel a real NEED for a relationship again, I guess.

    Maybe too… it’s a matter of falling in love with… ‘where you are at now’ in your life. We can grow and change and get better as a person, I do believe. Maybe it’s just a matter too, of meeting that right person. I think so. I think it’s a combination. Of being ready for love and then meeting the right person and then falling in love. When you feel the time is right, I think you will fall in love. Especially if you have been spending a lot of time working on yourself — in becoming a better person — of who you wish to be, and in becoming very happy in your life.

    Maybe when you reach that state of being very happy with who you are — and where you are — then you meet someone. And then… fall in love again. Maybe it’s true in what is said; it’s a matter of falling in love with yourself, before you can ever fall in love with another. And I fell in love 3 times in my life, so I must have been in love with myself – in order to do so. :) Maybe, just maybe… I will make it ‘4’. I could only be so lucky, I guess. :) Because.. I guess it’s wonderful to be in love.

    Thewayiis, are you single? Or in a relationship?

    It was a wonderful gift, in receiving your reply. Thank you so much! I enjoyed it immensely and learned so much from it as well!

    Take care!

    • I don’t see it as falling deeply.. It comes down to sharing interests, and being able to coexist together with another on a deeper level. To be understood, not necessarily deeply in love, that will follow. IMO any fall in love at first sight is merely infatuation. It’s only until this wears off when people see things in a new light and become upset. Everything else is spot on accurate about relationships in general, and I think you will find that the cancers women have issues with come from the group who is not ready to be loved simply because they can’t fully love themselves.

  75. Jonathan, Cancer Male, I have really enjoyed reading your posts as well. As well as many others on here too. Wishing everyone a great day!

  76. Well, since my original post I have decided to walk away from my cancer guy. I can’t handle all the “I want you/ I don’t want you” I can’t make sense of it and it confuses me. I am still incredibly in love with him, but if he can’t stop playing mind games.. Then I have no other choice but to walk away. The way I see it is that if he really wanted to be with me as he’s implied with the whole talking about us getting married and having babies, then he would be with me and stop going back and forth.

    • How did you fall in love with him? What brought you to care for him? Think about what would make a MAN do those things and make a judgement call based on that. Maybe we are really complicated to others but its our ability to read others that makes us wishy washy because others can’t do it to us. And being emotional we would rather you get us without having to tell you. My opinion. If he said make me fall in love with you, he seems pretty open to me and maybe you didn’t step up the way HE wanted you to. But found his attraction to you stronger than his desire to protect himself. Again, my opinion.

  77. I fell in love with him cause he was caring and sweet and he would push me to pursue something more in my personal life/career. He wanted me to reach my potential and goals in life. I’ve never met anyone like that who would support my goals like he does. And I receprocated all that back to him. Fitness/health is also something very important to him.. Me as well, but over the last year or so I have put it aside. The last several months I have been working out and trying to be healthy. I’ve lost 30lbs. He would always tell me that he’s proud of me. Two weeks ago now we had an argument and I brought up the whole ” make me fall in love with you ” thing. He told me that should be an indicator of where his heart and head are. Meaning… He doesn’t want to be with me. And that he hasn’t changed his mind and that he’s not going to. So that’s when I decided it best to walk away. This man doesn’t love me like he claimed in the past and he’s not going to.

    • ….thewayitis, she needs your advice more than mine. I don’t have enough experience to tell you what he meant regarding that. What have you been doing for several months? Maybe you should have read more into cancers before getting with him. The idea of someone telling me they loved me but not being able to recognize my feelings would set me back. IMO, w/e feeling you got from him at the end, when you ended it, was the the exact opposite he was feeling. Instead of showing you a broken heart, he would give you a cold hard gaze.

  78. In reply to what Ctnkrbll30 recently wrote of her first post, (in when I replied and wrote this); that’s why I won’t sleep with a man, unless I know he wants a committed relationship with me. Has anyone seen the movie; “he’s just not into you.” I believe it’s true. When a man is into you, IN LOVE with You, he will have a ring on your finger before you can say… I love you! Myself, this is just for me personally; I don’t get intimate with a man unless he is in love with me AND wishes a committed relationship, where he went out and bought an engagement ring! And put it on my finger! Otherwise, I have no desire whatsoever to be intimate with a man who is not ‘into me.’ To the degree that he is … in love with me and wants a committed relationship with me – to happily share our life together!

    I was in love 3 times. The first one was first love, but it wasn’t meant to be, we lived in different provinces in Canada. The second time we lived in the same province and I fell in love and it lasted for 10 years. I also believe in karma too. So we balanced that karma and it was over and we both were happy to move on. But I was in love for all those years, very much so. Then 2 years later, I believed I met another karma as I again fell in love. He asked me to marry him in only knowing him for 4 months and we were married 15 years. I was in love with him all during that time as well, very much so.

    But again, I believe in karma and we balanced that karma together and our relationship came to an end. The last year it just happened that we wanted different things. But we still loved each other very much and care about each other very much. But we both wished to move on in a different direction and so we did. But when you really love someone, of it really being ‘love’ – you still love them after you even part. We just wanted different things and loved each other enough to happily go our separate ways with such great love for one another. We just weren’t wishing to go in the same direction. So in other words; we separated on such wonderful, beautiful terms of truly loving each other, and wishing each other a world of happiness and joy, and to this day we do – but as ‘friends’ now.

    And I also believe that when you have balanced all your karmas in life, then you can have a soulmate. These are again just my personal spiritual beliefs, is all. They are not everyone’s. Everyone has freewill to believe what they want in life, and thank god for that! I love that.

    So myself personally, I would never become intimate with a man unless I am in love with him, and he is in love with me, AND also wishes a committed relationship with me. Then I don’t have to worry about any games or anything like that. And never ever experienced such things in living this way. When a man is into you, trust me, you will know! He will be crazy about you and for the whole relationship as well! That was the case for me. But I only had 2 relationship of 10 years and then 15 years with another.

    I had boyfriends, but was not intimate as I did not fall in love with them and then broke it off because of it. And the first love we were not intimate as we only visited now and then and it was fate that we were not to be together. We were so young. And then I fell in love with my long term 10 year relationship to my boyfriend, whom I never married. I was young with him as well.

    So yes, I believe in falling in love and when I have experienced this, it lasted as long as the relationship. It never died the love. But in both cases what happened, we ‘grew’. But also grew in wanting different things, is all. That happens. And I love both men very much, but am not in contact with either as we have all moved on and they have other relationships as I found another at the time as well. But now I am single and happily so for now. So yes, love lasts, as I believe real love never dies. I still love both partners but as friends now, is all. We are no longer in a committed relationship anymore. Maybe love is just something… that can catch fire? For me anyways, that was the case. And then I wish to have a committed relationship when it does, and then I am intimate with a man. Never before though.

    And there is also engagement. If you are in love, have a year engagement or even longer, even 5 years in planning to have a long term committed relationship. And after say.. . a 1 year engagement, and you still do not feel the same way, then you are free to call it off. It was maybe not meant to be, if you decided to not go through with it. Or meant to be just a short term relationship.

    So myself, I would not become intimate unless I am engaged to be married. I believe you know if he is the one for you. I knew in both cases that the man was really into me. Crazy about me, as he showed it! It was quite obvious that both times he was head-over-heels in love with me as I was with them too! So, you know that they are crazy in love with you, as they are expressing it and showing it! Where it’s blatantly obvious as they are telling you to! And you are with them as well, just as much!

    But the first relationship I was so young, so I didn’t want marriage, just the committed relationship. And both men were very loyal and faithful to me, 100%! The first relationship of 10 years with my ex-boyfriend was Aries the second one of the 15 year marriage was Gemini. Both very faithful and both did not even flirt with women! They were very dedicated and committed and so faithful to me to the end and I to them as well! Being Aquarius we are usually a very faithful, loyal and very honest, truthful sign, which I am indeed! 100% actually. Because I enjoy being so, is why! It’s my nature.

    So I believe you will know, and then when you know that he does want a committed relationship with you and you know it in your heart, then I am intimate with him. So your inner intuition (which we all have) is real, and it tells you that he is for real and his feelings for you are real – of wishing a lasting long term committed relationship with you!

    All the best to everyone!

  79. Jonathan, Cancer Male, You were so dead-on accurate in what you said. If a gal wants a guy to fall in love with her, she has to have fallen in love with herself first, already. It’s so true. That’s what it’s all about. You have to want another relationship too, though. You have to decide that you want another one. I’m Aquarius, we can love our solitude with a passion that we can become a recluse quite easily because of it. We could be alone forever for the rest of our life and be quite happy doing so! :^) That’s how much we love our solitude. But, we also love getting out and about and talking/being with people too, so… thus many Aquarius aren’t recluses. :^)

    But yes, it is so true. A girl/women must fall in love with herself fully/wholly first in order to wish a boy/man to fall in love with her fully and wholly too! She must first fall in love with herself before anyone is going to fall in love with HER! That’s how it works. So thus you must work on yourself if you have not yet fallen in love with YOU! You must learn to love yourself, before you can love anyone else in life. Or anyone wishing to love You. You must first love YOU! Fall in love with YOU and then any man would wish to fall in love with YOU as well! That’s how it works!

    Wishing all the best to Everyone!

    Have a great day!

  80. “Into You”

    If he doesn’t call when he says he’ll call;
    Or if he doesn’t even call at all,
    Well, he just might not be that into you.

    If he’s too busy to see you on the weekends;
    An’ he doesn’t introduce you to his friends,
    Well, he just might not be that into you.

    ‘Cause if he was he’d be hangin’ on your every word.
    He’d put away his little black book an’ put you first.
    He’d bein’ doin’ double back flips to make it work out.

    If he’s a month late for your birthday,
    Or if he calls you by another girl’s name,
    Well, he just might not be that into you.

    ‘Cause if he was he’d be hangin’ on your every word.
    He’d put away his little black book an’ put you first.
    He’d bein’ doin’ double back flips to make it work out.

    Well, if he says he’s not the marryin’ type,
    An’ he only calls you in the middle of the night,
    Well, he just might not be that into you.

    Yeah, yeah.
    Yeah, yeah.
    I got you now,
    Whoa hey, yeah.
    You gotta listen girl:
    If you’re not the centre of his world,
    He’s not that into you,
    Hey yeah.

    Yeah, ’cause if he was he’d be hangin’ on your every word.
    He’d put away his little black book an’ put you first.
    He’d do whatever it takes to make it work out, yeah.

    Well, if he says she’s just a friend, like a sister,
    Then one day, you see him up an’ kiss her.
    Well, he just might not be that into you.
    Yeah, you just might wanna find somebody new.
    Oh, that’s what I would do, girl if I were you.

    Yeah, yeah.
    Yeah, yeah.
    Find somebody new.
    Yeah, he’s not that into you.

    Yeah, yeah.
    (Find somebody new.)
    Yeah, yeah.
    (He’s not that into you.)
    Girl, find somebody new.

    (Find somebody new.)
    You know you gotta find someone who loves everything about you.
    (He’s not that into you.)
    Somebody: listen now, it’s worth it, yeah.


    • Our biggest fear is letting someone in only to let them take all that we give, and use it then set it aside. We think more like you women than you realize. For us, a relationship that could fail at any moment is a relationship we dont want. We could, and i dont have a problem with it, never get into a relationship. we dont want the complications of a second person unbalance our lives. just like if you take a plate, fill it with water, then set it on a vertical spike. The water represents our being. The plate and spear serve to remind us that anything could disrupt it. Those of us who have had it disrupted have experienced pain and trauma that’s difficult to articulate. You would be hard pressed to find a good cancer that does any if the things in that song. Now bad cancers, I say bad but they are just a little warped, they had their plate full of water disrupted, and he lost some of his being and it’s not coming back. We will forever live with the scar and think about it everyday until we die. There’s nothing you can do about whether you are our number one priority because it is to keep that plate and water secure, better put, it’s to keep the security of home and the balance of friends and keep everything we hold precious to us in this world running smoothly. Women please, read up on cancers before you get INVOLVED with them. And if you do, for gods sake don’t sleep with him without a month or two as a buffer zone. It seems we put our all in getting to that night, because we know your kinda hooked and can back off to evaluate if this is going good to proceed, which involves a test. Before you get to this you want to understand him and try to follow his words, body language, and other subtle clues to find out if he is a good cancer or bad cancer.

  81. Jonathan, these are just my own opinions right now speaking, but; maybe it’s a matter of falling in love? And when you do fall in love, everything changes. Everything is different. Have you ever fallen in love before? Because until you do, things are just not as they are – as when you are in love with someone. It is as though; ‘it’s meant to be’. You feel it, you know it, and then… it works. You have trust between the two of you. You become like… ‘one’, is why. You have this real connection, that you can’t have otherwise – of not falling in love. Then you would be working as just…. two friends and not much more and then trying to make a relationship of ‘love’ out of it, where it’s just not there.
    You can’t make love happen, either it’s there or it’s not. You can’t really make yourself fall in love. That’s why it’s called ‘falling’ in love. You actually do fall. It’s something that just happens to you. You can’t make it happen. You meet someone and they blow you away, and thus you fall in love because of it. I believe god puts you together, but that is just my own personal beliefs.
    When I fell in love, nothing is the same. You have this strong great love in your heart for the person, and then they have for you as well. So you are living in this power, energy of love that holds you together. Makes you become ‘one’ of a partnership. And you love each other. You hold hands, you kiss, you hug, you cuddle and … you are very kind to one another. You say kind things, you do kind things, that is love. Love is: kind, considerate, understanding, patient, tender, gentle, nurturing. That is love. Love is all good things.
    So when you have this between two people it can be a beautiful thing. Love is kindness. And kindness toward each other. It’s ‘loving’, being loving towards one another. Not harsh, or cruel or mean or boastful. Love is having an inner peace and an inner joy. It’s to be gentle and kind and understanding and empathetic. That’s why it’s called; fall in love. You are then living in love. Being love, doing loving things. That’s what love is. So when you fall in love with yourself, you fall in love with all others and then that one special person who would be a perfect match from you. And I believe god brings you that perfect match for you where you can have a very compatible and loving relationship.
    What happens when you fall for someone in falling in love, of what it is called, is that you find this real ‘connection’ with the person, on all levels. And that connect is what holds you together. It ‘connects’ you where you can feel a ‘oneness’ together. You become ‘one’ yet having two bodies, yet you feel one. So it’s a connection, a very strong connection you can then feel with another person, and thus has you wanting to be together. And then people become partners because of it. Because of this connection. But without the connection, then no, you don’t really feel much of a need to wish to become partners. You don’t have the connection.
    So when someone tells you that they fell in love, they felt a strong connection like a magnetic pull to one another. And that magnetic pull is why people get married, get engaged and wish a lasting committed relationship together. Before I ever fell in love, I never felt that. I never wanted anything to do with boys. Lol. Some were very annoying and I wanted them to go away. Lol. That was till I turned 16, and fell in love. And then everything was different now concerning boys. Lol. Or just this one boy in particular. We fell in love. I felt such a strong attraction and magnetic pull to this boy. I fell in such deep, wonderful, beautiful love. And then everything works. ‘Cause you just have a huge smile on your face.
    But love, is kindness towards one another. That is why I say you must first learn to love yourself, to love ‘You’ before you know how to love another. To be kind and good to You first! Before you can then know how to be loving and kind to another! It starts with you! Practice loving – ‘on yourself first’. Learn to love YOU, first. And then when you know what love is, then you can practice on others in loving all others in life. And loving a special partner that feels like a perfect match. But.. when you finally are loving yourself, then it comes naturally and automatically in loving all others.
    So Jonathan, life can be about working on yourself to becoming a better person, to becoming ‘whole’ as an individual. And that wholeness was referred to being ‘holy’ in the bible. BUT, it just means to be whole as a person, and anyone can become whole! And how does one become whole? By loving yourself. Learning to love yourself. That is mostly what life is about and why we are here on this planet. It’s to learn to love yourself! It’s the most important thing we must learn to do; love yourself! Because before you learn to really love yourself, you really can’t love another or all others. You really can’t. It’s just not possible. So the key ingredient in life to have a great full and ‘whole’ life, is to… love yourself. Master self-love FIRST and then everything else will fall in place. It’s true. We must first learn to love our self, before we can really love all others.

    You see, sometimes people wish to try to bypass that and don’t wish to love themselves. And then try to love others or a partner, and can’t seem to get it to work. Because they are trying to avoid their responsibility to love them self. They don’t want to do this, ‘cause that entails; WORK. They don’t want to do the work that it entails, to love yourself. So they try to ignore loving themselves, and then try to love another person as in a relationship, and find it just isn’t working and don’t know why. The answer to why it’s not working, is because you are not working on YourSELF. Is why. It will never ever work, until you finally choose to face YOURSELF and LOVE YOURSELF. You can’t go pass *GO* until you first LOVE You! Nothing will work! Your life won’t work! Nothing will work, until you finally FACE YOU and LOVE YOU! Then there is NO passing *GO*. Until you do this. And… many people don’t want to. So then they have real troubles in their life because of it. Nothing seems to work, they feel, nor with relationships. And this is why……

    And then that’s where falling in love can come in. You love yourself and then can actually fall in love with You! And then when you do, it’s very easy to then fall in love with another! Such as a partner to… love. And they love you. As I said; love is kind, considerate, gentle, tender, understanding, speaks kindly and softly to one another. Has empathy, nurturance. That is love. To be kind to one another and treat each other kindly.

    So I believe it’s a matter of first learning to LOVE You! Before you can really go forward in your life of wishing good things! You must first Master self love before you can pass GO! Work on yourself and for many cases if not all; work on your psychology. There are self help books, therapists, and psychologists that can help us with that. We all need to work on our psychology. There is not one person who doesn’t! Not one. And then when we do, and then finally see that we are deserving of self love, in finally choosing to love our self (as life is but a choice), then our lives come together in being ‘good’. With lots of ‘love’ in them. In learning to love our self, we then learn to love all others. Actually it comes naturally when you finally Master self love. You then love all others automatically and naturally. It’s true.

    So the secret to a good life, is to first learn to love YOU! THEN love others and a special other as a relationship. In being only good and loving and kind to one another. It’s also called; a soul mate. And not a karma mate, that many have and have to balance FIRST before you can have a soulmate. As no one passes GO until they have balanced all karma from past life times (as in speaking of reincarnation which does exist and is true, until it was stripped from Jesus’ teachings of Christianity by the Romans). Of karma being real. If you created negative energy in a past life with a past partner, then in this life time you will only have to meet up again with that person – to then balance that negative energy you alone created.

    With what you spoke about, that is nothing but insecurities, which we all can have at one time in our life. That’s normal. There is nothing abnormal about that. We can all come with insecurities and FEARS. It’s to overcome fears, is what we are doing on this planet. To overcome fears with LOVE. Finding love in our life as love does actually cast out all fears. It’s true! Love is magical, because… it’s actually real. Love is quite powerful, it is. And it is more powerful then fear. It is. It’s a higher energy vibration, is what love is. And fear is a much lower energy vibration. As Einstein taught and changed science as it was; ‘everything is energy’. Science use to teach that matter is matter, until Albert Einstein came along and said; “no, matter is not matter, matter is energy.” So love being energy as well, BUT a very high energy frequency. And fear and doubt being the opposite of love, which is a very low energy vibration frequency. So.. raise your energy vibration frequency! To where love is. As love does cast out all our fears.

    So it’s to find love in life and that starts FIRST with loving YOU. Before you wish to love another or all others. You must first Master loving YOU first. Because yes, you are that important to love. I believe god is love and we are offsprings of this god that we are ‘one’ with, and never separate from god. Impossible to be separate from god/love. But if you are living in an illusion (that many humans are) that you are separate from god, then you will feel separate from love, as god is love. And thus feeling something lacking in your life, and not feeling whole within yourself. As you are living an illusion that you are actually separate from love/god. So it’s to come back to ‘oneness’ of knowing it’s impossible to be separate from god/love and to then know you ARE love. We are offsprings of god/love which is just intelligent energy. Such as god taking light/energy and lowering it’s vibration frequencies to creating ‘matter’ of what is the matter with us. Right? The matter with us humans is we think we are separate from love/god. We are not. As esoteric spirituality teaches, when we fell in consciousness we fell into an illusion of separation from god/love. And then that became all our troubles in life. That alone.

    As Shakespeare also said and I love to quote; To BE or not to BE this is the question. To be LOVE or not to be LOVE, this is the question. Our true self is LOVE. That is our true nature. That’s what happens when you ‘finally’ choose to love yourself. But many can be living in what is called their lower self, which is the ‘ego’. Which is not very intelligent. But our true self is our higher self that is one and connected with god. Connected and one with LOVE. God is love and all god is.. is love. So when we no longer feel or even know that we are one with god/love, then that is where all our troubles can lie. Right there. Love is where it’s at. Love is Life. Love is really all that is really real in being real and not a figment of our imaginations at times in our life. Love is real. If anyone believes in god, well, god is LOVE. That’s all god is. God is not this angry judgemental god in the sky, that many may believe to be. God is pure 100% LOVE and that is all that God is. God got a bad name from the Romans editing all of Jesus’ teachings if you read the Gnostic bible, you will see what I mean. The Gnostic was untouched by man’s hands. That’s why! The Romans did a real number of editing mostly all of Jesus teachings and burning mostly all of it and leaving only a tiny little bit that it was pretty much impossible for the average person to find this kingdom of god within them, because of it.

    It’s to become ‘whole’ as a person, Jonathan. That’s the secret. That’s what all humans must Master. It’s called; working on your psychology to become… ‘whole’ as a person. We all have to do this. It’s a gradual process of what is called ‘life’. Or; self transcendence. It’s to have your ego die on a daily basis is all it is, to transcend yourself in coming up higher in your life. It’s called raising your consciousness higher for better and greater things for your life. It’s to straighten out who you are on the inside. To become WHOLE is to have inner peace and inner joy. And much happiness in life because of it.

    What do you want in life Jonathan? To be happy? What would you want to be happy? Where you are content? Would it be to find a partner that would be a perfect match for you? Or would it first becoming right with yourself? First really loving yourself first, before you take on loving someone else? And that’s what it’s all about. First becoming right with You – before you can be right with someone else such as a partner. It’s to work on YOU and not on another. And becoming right with you of….finally loving yourself! Once you love yourself, then you can truly love another! With much joy and happiness and inner peace! That’s what life is about. Finding inner peace then everything is right with your life, and world, when you have found inner peace. And that comes with having to finally…love yourself. And when you finally love yourself, then you love all others as well! It’ true. We could have world peace, if each individual finally would love themselves. That is the SECRET to a great life, a great relationship… it’s to LOVE yourself! First! You can not pass “GO” until you first LOVE YOURSELF! It’s the secret to a good life! A great life! Because when you do, you then automatically love all others.

    You can NOT love another, until you first learned to love yourSELF. Can’t be done. Not possible. So it’s not necessarily about loving others, but about loving yourself. Because until you have finally loved You, you can not love another or any others. Not possible. You can try to fool yourself that you can, but it can not be done. You would be.. an actor, playing a role in a part, is all. So it’s to work on yourself in learning to love yourself first. Then everything will fall perfectly in place in your life, when you finally do so. LOVE YOURSELF. Then everything will work in your life by LOVING YOURSELF. Concentrate on LOVING YOURSELF, first. Then on loving another for a very special relationship. Because now you can love them, as you are loving You. Do you see? That’s how it works. Then everything else will fall nicely and perfectly in place in your life… when you finally are loving YOU. When you finally Master SELFlove.

    Wishing you a wonderful day! Take care.

    • I can tell you that falling in love at first sight is an illusion. Answer this, are you still with that boy, I’m at the beach and skimmed it, but it struck me that you live in the moment. Cancers live in the future. To me the idea that someone can know me shorter than a month and tell me they have fallen in love with me is ridiculous. To me that’s infatuation.

  82. Hi Miss Curious, Jonathan and everybody.

    I 100% agree with Jonathan in that I believe there is no such thing as “love at first sight”. I feel that “love at first sight” is a great idea in movies and books, but just like there is no such thing as talking robots from outer space that turn in to cars and inconspicuous household electronics, there is no such things as “love as first sight” – in my belief. You cannot meet me and tell me you fell in love with me as soon as you saw me or after a month. Attraction, yes. Infatuation, absolutely. Lust, most probably; but I think you have to know somebody first before you can love them.

    Now I’m going to venture out even further and say that “Love lives in the mind”. If the Moon rules emotions, and emotions emanate from the mind, then love must be something processed in the mind. In other words, love is a mind game. And if Cancer rules emotions (the mind) then Cancerians must be the biggest Love Game players. Jono is right, we live in the future, because it’s a “game” and every move matters. We use current data to figure out what will happen in the future, which is why every little thing a woman does is under our scrutiny because we know that past behaviour is repeated. If we see something we don’t like in someone, no matter how small, we can completely disengage. Not because we have this high standard that only a Goddess could pass, but because we don’t want to be hurt in the future. That’s why Cancerians are so good at stock markets.

    As to your question Miss Curious, no, I am not in a relationship right now but do have a FwB. I have never been in love. I have been taken on a roller-coaster by a Cancerian before and that’s the only person who I’ve ever let myself get hurt over.I know this isn’t a glowing recommendation (esp. since I’m a Cancerian myself) but I will never date a Cancer again. I know how all of y’all feel. I’m glad it happened because it gave me a perspective as to how I might make other people feel. She was literally, the best person I thought I had ever met. Everything I had wanted. But I was a back up lover haha. Anyway, I learned the trick that we use, and I’m gonna spill the beans…

    Cancerians are shapeshifters!

    That’s the secret. That’s the answers to all the questions that have been asked and that will be asked in the future about Cancerians: We Are Shapeshifters. We become the “perfect person” for which ever person we’re with. Then either A) We get bored pretending and leave or B) We get bored pretending and we actually show you who we really are (something you might not like) and then you say “I don’t know what happened, all of a sudden, he changed”.I wasn’t in love with my Cancer but that’s the only time I have ever felt phsyical pain where my heart is located. I had to take time off college (just a couple of days, it wasn’t that bad guys haha), it made my anxiety a little worse, I changed my hair to be more like the new guy, like seriously, I have never acted so foolish over somebody before and I never will…unless it’s Elizabeth Hurley in Bedazzled.

    So I can understand how these posters here have been seduced and taken in and how much they hurt, and I’m more aware of how I do the same thing to women that was done to me. Which is why I say how I think, right at the beginning. Unfortunately, what people hear and what people feel is different so that doesn’t really help either.

    Right now I’m 24 but I’ve been looking at relationships a little more seriously than I used to. I’m looking for a wife now. I’ve been seeing a lot more women lately and by early next year I’m going to have started a long term relationship. I’ll have my 1st child by the time I’m 32 – a boy and we’ll live on a farm. See how far in the future I’m living. So basically everything I do right now, is about aligning with that future…and that’s what makes life complicated for Cancerians and sometimes and that’s what brings spells of depression and doubts and extreme, sometimes daredevil behaviour for us too.

    So to all the women hooked on Cancerian men, let it go. Delete the number, e-mail, and facebook. Or you’ll be hooked for years as I’ve read. I know it’s hard because he seems like the perfect guy, but that’s because he’s a shapeshifter. That’s why Meryl Streep (Cancerian) has something like 17 Oscar nominations. And that’s why Tom Cruise (Cancerian) is the biggest A List actor no matter what he does in private life. I know it will be hard, been through it myself, but you have to do it. And yes, most likely he will be back. My Cancerian tried to come back almost a year later and I acted like I didn’t know her. You have to protect yourself and your emotions (mind) first. If you’re going crazy, it can’t be love and it can’t be good.

    • It’s like you read my mind, shapeshifters huh, never looked at it like that but there is no better word to describe us. If shapeshifter doesn’t work then maybe the concept of molding will. We will mold, bend, contract, adapt ourselves so we blend in perfectly, standing out among strangers is not what we want. That’s the problem with the cancers you lady’s have been having problems with, they don’t have a future in mind. They don’t have something they ultimately want and strive for. And if they do, you can put money on it that(I’m not trying to be mean) its probably not you they see themselves with.

  83. Jonathan, No, I’m still not with that boy. I was 16, he was 18. We both fell head over heels in love. It was just an amazing attraction and connection of liking all the same things! Being so the same, it was unreal! But we just loved each other to death! He was my first love, meaning; most first loves.. they are forever. Yeah, I loved him forever. It wasn’t fated. He lived in another province. And I was going through some real personal issues at the time, that I didn’t want him to know about. I thought if he knew, he wouldn’t want to be with me. I was so young, and so naive. Later when I told him, he couldn’t believe it. He thought I was giving him the brush off. He was so in love with me. I was so in love with him. But because of certain issues that were going on, because of pride I guess, I didn’t want to tell him. I messed up, I know. I was young, and had a lot of ego at the time, I guess. And yeah, he was the love of my life. First night I met, we both fell deeply head over heels in love!!! It was unreal. After I told him that, he thought I didn’t love him. He was deeply heartbroken. Sad story really. It’s like the story…. Of the movie of the girl who got hit by a car, and couldn’t walk again. And she was so in love with a man and didn’t want him to see her like that. And they arranged to meet again and she never met him because she was in a wheel chair. And then finally he finds out, and he was still so deeply in love with her and her him. But, they got together, as he found out from someone that new her. And he was shocked when he found out. He thought she didn’t love him. My story is very similar to that, except I wasn’t hit by a car of not being able to walk.

    So… he moved on, and met another girl and then married her. Then later I realized my mistake and it was too late. He was already married. So then I married too. But, I also believe things are fated as we have karma to finish with certain people who become partners/spouses. So I believe it was fated that he had karma with his now wife and me with my ex-husband. I fell so in love with that guy, it wasn’t even funny. And for years till just up till last year I made contact to actually get over him. To see where he was in his life and he was married. So I moved on. But yeah, I still loved him in seeing if it would work if we got together again. He told me, if he was single he was in there! Meaning he wanted everything with me! marriage! He’s very honest too, he’s a Virgo. Virgos are pretty honest. But I know too, my intuition didn’t’ even have to tell me. He fell in love with me as I did him. But now he is married and loves his wife. As I loved my husband when I was married and would not leave my husband for him because of it. Love is not sex. So there is much more to love. It’s very deep. I married my husband and fell in love with him too and loved him. But then when I was single I contacted him to see if he was single, and he was not. So, not meant to be.

    So my second marriage, I loved my husband, but I still loved my first love. Love is something that its forever really. It is. Even when you split, you still love them very much. But, I am very faithful and loyal and loved my husband. So then when my husband and I didn’t want the same things anymore (it’s complicated) because of being spiritual and him not being so. We then decided to go our own separate ways. We wanted a different life. But, I still love my husband. Sometimes real love, will have you separate. Because you wish to. So you can still love someone and not be with them. It’s true. But, I believe in karma and it was karma with my ex-husband that we balanced and loved each other so much. It’s amazing how much you can love someone that you are no longer married to and only wish the best for them! And only wish to be friends too! Because, sex isn’t love, eh? It’s not. With me, sex is something I do with love. That’s just me. So you can still love someone very much and greatly, and not wish to have sex with them. It’s true. You move on.

    So in answer to your question, yes I do still love him. But he is married and I do not wish to have sex with him, as I am not in a committed relationship with him. And I am over him, in other words. Now if he was single, it would be a different matter. But he’s not and I don’t pine over him or anything at all! I love him as a friend without ever having more then friend thoughts about him, in all honesty. I moved on.

    And then there was my first long term boyfriend after my first love, and that lasted about 10 years. And I fell in love with him at first sight! Lol. I did! On my first day of high school, I couldn’t find my class and saw him and asked him where it is. And he told me! And we locked eyes… and that was it. Lol. We were so very attracted to each other on all levels! It was fate! See, I also believe in fate big time 100% As I also believe in god and god uses fate for us to meet partners. And now I’m hoping for a soul mate. As I believe I finished all my karmas. And I think a soulmate would be sublimely heavenly as my karmas were pretty great! So soulmates are suppose to be the crème de la crème relationships, so something to look very forward to I guess.

    It’s like you just instantly connect and become like… one, when you fall in love. You have so much in common and think the same and everything else. It’s called… ‘karma’ to finish is what it usually is and you fall in love. I did. And it lasted 10 years of being in love till.. we wanted different things. In other words, I have been very spiritually minded my whole life. And thus what had me go in different directions from the men in my life. It’s true. They did not really consider themselves spiritual and I most definitely am. And because of it, it had us want a different life. Yet still love each other very much. We did. I still love them all. Love is not sex, is why. Sex is great and wonderful as everyone is aware of, but it’s not love. And I find sex with love, in being in love, is magical and so beautiful, of course. So in other words, quantity is not always better then quality?

    And then my last relationship of my ex-husband I met him and really really liked him a lot when we first met. And then we talked at work every day and all the time we would just talk and talk and talk. We were so interested in talking to each other, we couldn’t stop. Lol. I even missed a day of work as we actually talked all night long. He went into work with about 2 hours sleep, but I couldn’t do that. lol. I called in sick. So with him yeah, I fell in love. Maybe not at first sight but I sure liked him at first sight. And then getting to know him, yeah, I was falling in love with him, and I knew it. Then 4 months later he was too as he asked me to marry him. And I was shocked, as it was only 4 months. And yeah, it lasted for 15 years.

    But because of me being very spiritually ‘minded’ we wanted a different life. I loved him very much, and still do. He was my BFF. And we wanted to stay good friends, but his wife wouldn’t go for that. So, we are no longer in contact out of his wife’s wish. Which I respect it, and understand completely. It’s healthy anyways as we both had to move on. So yes, I still love him, very much. He was my BFF for heaven sake! And I love them all. And was in contact with all of them just to say hi! But not very often as they have new partners and I’m not their partner anymore. And I don’t wish to be as I really moved on and quite happily so too. I don’t wish a relationship with any of them. If I have one, it is to be with a new partner. And I meet men and talk to men but haven’t found the one yet. I was happy being single too. And that’s hard for Aquarius in being alone so long and really loving it and getting use to it, to then make a switch to being in a relationship again. But, it might happen for me.

    I always write so long, so please forgive me. Lol. My last one was so long. I am sorry. It’s because I love to write with a passion as I love self expression so much. Too much actually.:^)

    So yes! I believe in love at first sight! ’Cause it was LOVE for me and lasted for years! So yes, I believe in it as I lived it. I experienced it is why. Happened to me 3 times.

    Take care!

    PS: I heard of a guy making fun of the idea of falling in love at first sight. And then it happened to him! Lol. Too funny! :^D So… never say never! ;^)

    • I’ll pass on the love at first sight still, I’m not looking for anything that you described. Not that it’s bad or anything! Just not my cup of tea. I prefer that if I do decide to have a relationship with a women that she will be by my side until death do us part. I could care less how many women go on about falling in love. Because at the end of the day, they have a memory to go along with the feeling, I want the person along with the feeling. Provided i decide on what I want in the future cause if not, more women will come here because of ME. That’s what I don’t want. Please don’t take this like I’m bashing your feelings and the relationships you had, they just are not possible for me. For the women who I would come to love, my feelings will never change. The love I feel for her at its peak will remain that way until I die. I don’t have it in me to pass that out to several different women. I don’t want to, I want it to be for my ONE, and her alone… That’s why I will put her through as many test that I can think of so when I do show her myself in its entirety, I will know we will come out together. Even talking about this is solidifying the feeling of wanting a permanent relationship with my ONE. In fact, I think it has solidified.

  84. Thewayiis, hi. That was very interesting what you wrote about cancers. I was so interested about cancers, as I didn’t seem to really know many cancers in my life. I later knew a cancer women, but not a man. ‘Till lately, then I met some cancer men. I know from the cancer women, they are very witty and very funny! They have such an incredible sense of humour! I never laughed so hard and so much in all my life. And the cancer men I have met later, the same too with such a great sense of humour, which I love! Just an amazing, marvellous sense of humour! Unbelievable. But I also believe that comes with ‘intelligence’ – of having such a great sense of humour. And having great wit as well!

    I found with the cancer male, that they are very sweet! Sugary sweet! Which I really liked! And they seem very kind and considerate and are very polite. And very intelligent, as I said. And I guess it is the sign that rules emotions. So they are very emotional, which is new for me to meet a man being so! My ex being a Gemini, the Gemini is the complete opposite of a cancer! Geminis are not known to be very emotional at all. And my ex wasn’t. But they are a mind sign, and do live in their mind. And are very, very bright.

    Another quality I liked about cancer, was that the males are known to be old fashion? I really liked that. Because.. I am an old fashion gal, you can say.

    I do enjoy reading your posts, as it really has me get to know what cancer males are like. It’s a great help! So thanks! I learned a lot!

    Take care!

  85. Hi Jonathan. I didn’t even want to send this off, as it’s so long! Lol. I’m sorry. I think this will now be my last long post to you. Because of what I was sharing I wanted to write this, to explain it more in how it was. So this will be my LAST LONG one. Trust me! I won’t make them long like this anymore. MAYBE it’s for someone else to read who will really benefit from it and not you! Lol! Because I felt sooo lead to write all this, so maybe it’s not for you, but for someone to read to benefit from!!! I don’t know! Lol. If you read it all or not is up to you! I just felt SO lead to write it. Maybe it’s therapeutic for me to finally get this all out! Maybe it might help someone else who went through what I went through in life! Who knows! :^) I wrote it, so I will send it! I didn’t want to out of it being so long! So just read some of it, if it’s too long! It will be my LAST long post!

    …….Yeah, I hear yeah. When I met my first love, it was complicated. At the time I didn’t think too highly of marriage, of many people I knew getting divorced. So, when I was young, I didn’t really believe in marriage. Because I thought no one was happy being married so long and that you will only eventually get divorced. So, I didn’t want to be married. So after my first love which was a real heart break for me, as I did not want to break up with him. But because of my personal life at the time, it was almost like I had no choice. It’s so complicated and I don’t care to reveal it at all. It’s done.

    Then I fell in love with my boyfriend of 10 years. Did not want marriage, did not believe in marriage, as everyone I seemed to know were divorced or getting divorced. So with him, I didn’t want to marry. But I did love him, but was afraid of marriage. And then, the relationship ended because I was very spiritually minded and he was not! So we were like.. going down two different roads. So, we ended it because of it! But with him, I never thought of marriage. I didn’t want to get married, that’s why! I didn’t want to be hurt and crushed by a divorce, because it seemed everyone was divorcing! But we went our separate ways anyways. We grew in different directions.

    Then I met a man, who was only a friend. And he actually changed my view point on marriage! I’m not kidding. And it was because he was such a loving man and was married and was a very gentle man. And he was a man that I was not too aware of in my life growing up. Of being so patient and kind and so gentle. He was just different, his personality of being a man. Then unfortunately, he died.

    Then I met my husband about a year later I think it was. Of being single for 2 years after my split with my ex-boyfriend. And then when I met my husband, (before we married), I had already decided that I want to get married. From meeting this friend of mine. I didn’t know this friend for long, because he died. But, I thought at the time, marrying my ex-husband, would be a marriage for life! In how we both felt about each other! We both felt it would be a marriage for life. BUT things change! And yes, I was shocked that things changed. Are you young Jonathan? I think you said you were on a post, about you or someone else being 18 or 19? Because at the time yes, I thought it was for life! When we didn’t want the same things, I was still shocked that we were going to split. Because how things can happen in life sometimes, they can happen pretty fast, is what it is. You really don’t believe that would ever happen, or is happening, until it happens to you.

    I do believe that most people who marry, think it will be a marriage for life. I did! My ex husband did! We did. Most people do! Yes, I wanted to grow old together with him! He with me! And only be married once! Or that being my last relationship. But, it was because of my spirituality that we split. And this spirituality came more so later in our marriage. And so it was almost like fate, that it was over. I’m not kidding. It’s one of those things that just happens. But, it happened so fast. It did. But, it felt so meant to be that it was over. Because sometimes, you have to just accept things as they are. They are not meant to be anymore. It’s like it was really, really fated, that it was done. It was over, my time with him. It’s like you can see it as a gift, as he gave me so much growth as a person. And he told me I did the same for him too. Like; we really needed each other. That it was so fated that we met. That we were both what we exactly needed at that time in our life. We both loved each other. And then, that time was over. It was like it was not fated that our relationship was going to be for life. That some times relationships aren’t always meant to be forever. Some can be shorter, yet still good. And some can be for life.

    And when you are young, you can’t even think of having such a thing happen to you of marrying and thinking it’s for ever and then it’s not. But then when you get older and it happens, then you see the reason for it happening, that it’s really for the best for you both. That you will actually be happier in your lives in who you are as people in now being apart. You had your time, you got your growth (which is what karma is) and now it’s done. You can now move on to bigger and better and greater things. And it’s true. For both of us it was. We are both so very, very happy in our lives today. It was for the best.

    I thought I was marrying for life. And we are going to grow old together and this is my last relationship with him! And then, life, in the way it is, can send you a real curve ball? If that is the expression? It was a surprise. And I didn’t really want to split at the time, but it was inevitable. I did and then I didn’t. But he knew I wasn’t happy anymore. And I guess maybe I wasn’t and didn’t want to accept it that I wasn’t, because I loved him. It was not a break up over not loving one another anymore. Not like that at all! It was because we were so different and maybe needed different things for who we were. We were still talking after we split and even with him being with someone new. And we were carry on laughing and getting on great, both being very happy being split in now doing the things we always wished to do and were meant to do. And him finding a gal that liked to do all that he did. But then she got jealous, and so we had to stop contact because of it. Because we were being too happy together in just being friends in getting on too well. And it was then time for us to no longer have contact as even friends. Because she didn’t like it and she was insecure that maybe we would get back together.

    I think we grow and change. And we both grew and change and mostly because of my spirituality. If I was not spiritual, we would probably be still together. But then I wouldn’t be the person I am and that wouldn’t be me.

    So yes, I understand, as I was young once too and felt exactly as you do. And I feel that way in being older as well too though! Most people want to marry one person for life! But, it just doesn’t always happen as there is what is called ‘karma’ relationships you must finish before being able to have a soul mate partner. If you are spiritually minded, then you will learn these things. And that is after I did decide I wanted to get married. Because before I never wanted to when I was younger. I was too scared it may end in divorce. That’s why I believe everything seems like fate. Of me meeting this friend and him changing my whole view on marriage, then I happen to meet a man a year later who wants to marry me and then I did too, as the friend changed my thoughts on marriage. And then when that marriage ended, it was fate again. Because I had all this opportunity to delve in my love of the spiritual. So much so, for 4 years straight! It was like god had this huge opening and opportunity for me to just delve so deeply and as much as I wanted in one of my greatest passions and love! Which is spirituality! And I did so and had a ball! It was heaven! And no, I did not feel I could do that being married as he was not spiritually minded as I was. And so we did a lot of things together that were not of that nature. I still did, but not very much.

    Because we were always together and sharing everything and he was not spiritual minded. So we did a lot of what he loved and his interests. It was almost like I was set back. It was. And then fate comes in, and…. it was like… so fated to end our relationship and probably because I wanted to explore an avenue that I felt wasn’t possible being with him. Then when we did split, he did marry another women, who shared his same likes and interests and is also not a spiritually minded person either. She was more… matched for him now then I was in where we were not in our life then who we were back then. But my spiritual interest only grew in the marriage. So as I said, people can change as they grew in different directions and thus ‘divorce’. But we left on very wonderful terms of only wishing the very best for each other! And love each other very much.

    So, yeah, when I was young, I would never wish to except what happened to me later in my life. I would really not wish to hear that. But people grow and change. Because of who I am, of being very spiritual minded, it then ended. We didn’t want the same lifestyle anymore. I wanted a spiritual one, and he didn’t. And yes, I wanted to be married for life! Just didn’t turn out that way is all. People can change as they grow.

    So now if I marry again, of course! I want it to be forever, too! And it can be! And also, something very positive: that when you are finished all our karma relationships, (as esoteric spirituality teaches) then you can have a soulmate relationship. And those are known to be great and for life! Because you come together because of it being a great match, and not for having one purpose alone, of having to balancing karma. with someone, and not because you are a great match of being soulmates. You are not soulmates, you are karma mates.

    As is taught in esoteric spirituality, that when you do finish karma and have no more, you then have what is called a soulmate. And those are suppose so great and last forever! And I have never experienced such a thing. So, my life is good! And it only gets better! It was hard the split with my ex. But, in life, it’s perpetual movement, there is no stand still in life. So you move on. But, you can also happily move on. When I split, I was sad but at the same time sooo happy! Because finally I seem to really get to be Me! And do all the things that I felt I couldn’t, being married to my ex. In being so spiritual minded. And we didn’t even like the same kind of food. I’m a health nut and he was a junk food nut. So things like that I went to town in the health area of foods and nutrition etc etc. And I did have a ball in first being single and still am.

    Because to really be you of all the interests you have that he may not have had, is where they say a soulmate is different. That you have so much in common, and it’s a sublime relationship for life! I had a lot in common with my first love, but not with my ex-husband as much. And my first boyfriend a lot in common even him loving health food as me too. But my ex-husband we were very different in so many things such as me loving nature, him not very much. And many things like this. But, we loved each other! But we did not have much in common!

    So then it almost seemed that I was going back to being me more of all of my many interests that I did not do so much with him. They say with karma, you are together to balance it. And we certainly did. And then it can end, when you do so. So it was almost like a job I had to do with him, but a job that I enjoyed though of his company very much even though he did not share a lot of likes that I had. But… I loved him! So what I am trying to say is; it was not gloom and doom. I thought it would be at the start of separating but it was not. It was the opposite. I was actually so happy being single. I really, really was. I got to do things like really long juice fasts and the great results I got. And I wasn’t growing so much wheat grass being married. Things like that. Aquarius are usually very very unconventional. We dance to the beat of a different drum. I think the saying is? So true. I was into raw vegan for 3 of those years, I’m not anymore, I eat seafood and fish now. But I loved exploring all these different avenues that I didn’t feel possible with him – in being so busy with him and his interests!

    So I’m saying that it’s not all gloom and doom what happens in life. I’m a firm believe that what happens is for YOUR best and what is best for you! I do! And it is true! Our divorce was what was best for me as I was so happy to be so free in being ME! All the things I loved to experience and enjoy doing. And him too! So it was a great thing that happened, of divorcing. Even though I married in wishing and thinking it would be for life.

    You see, as I said, I believe the marriage was karma. If you study up on karma they usually aren’t the marriages forever! Soulmates are the marriages forever! So, I can still have that. But if you hear of people having breakups and 3 boyfriends or 2 or 4 marriages, that’s why. Karma! We create karma from our past life time which is creating negative energy between you. So this lifetime, fate brings you right back to that person to balance karma with. And karmas are usually ones that you don’t have much in common. But fate and god has you feel this real need and very strong connection and that you have known each other forever. As you have in having many past lives together! It’s because you have unfinished business between you. You have karma to balance.

    If you study esoteric spirituality, you can’t have a soulmate till you finish all your karmas. As you are to change that negative energy back to it’s pure form of god’s energy of positive. So that’s what I believe! Karma relationships, give you so much growth as a person! It’s wonderful! And then you are ready for a soulmate. It’s because it gives you time to learn to love yourself, in mastering self love and all that kind of good stuff that maybe is needed for a happily ever after relationship with your soulmate! You need some growth as a person especially in knowing what ‘love’ is. And it sure made sense for my life! Of how things happened. We have karma and you can fall in love having karma and then marry because of it. As it was fate, as god had fate bring you together. It’s part of your divine plan that you agreed to do in the spiritual realm, before embodying earth. And what is also taught, is that unless you get together with that person in having karma to finish between you, you can’t go forward in your life of meeting someone else. You wont’ feel the chemistry or a very strong connection with another person. You will most likely be single in not meeting anyone. It’s not meant to be to meet someone, it’s meant to be for you to finish your karma. That’s why people meet and fall in love. Fate brings that person for you to partner with. Either karma or soulmate. And some karmas need to marry, because you have a lot to work out together of unfinished business and if you don’t marry, you may wish to walk away from this karma, that you need to finish with this person! So I believe in god, so I believe in fate and I believe in us all having a personal divine plan that we came to earth to do.

    Sorry for this being so long, maybe someone else has a need to read this in why I feel SO lead in writing all this. Lol! I’ll try to end this now. So what I am trying to get at is, I also believe in marriage for life too! It just didn’t turn out that way is all. And when you get older, you see that these things can happen. When you are younger, you don’t want to even think of such things. But like I said, it was not all gloom and doom. It was actually a happy ending for me and for him! It was actually the best thing that ever happened to us! It was. As he remarried and is so happy! And I stayed single in pursuit of my spiritual love, and am so happy! So with us! It was perfection! It was great!

    At the time you don’t think so and you are doubting you are doing the right thing, even! But then after he met the women he married, and I was on cloud nine with my juice fasting and trying what raw vegan was like, and I gave up gluten and dairy and got really lean and slim, and I was always in shape as I’m a cyclist. So I was having a ball and so was he! So you see? That’s why I believe in fate and believe it was fate that our time was done.

    It was a karma relationship, not soulmate, so 15 years of karma, is pretty good! That’s long for karma! And when we split, it just felt meant to be. It’s like god shining on you of fate saying your time now together is done. There is a new and even more wonderful plan for your life! It felt like that. AS I also believe we all come to earth with a personal divine plan to finish. And that’s what happened.

    You think that divorce has to be all gloom and doom and heart break. But, it’s not! It’s actually really beautiful, and wonderful and no heartbreak. At first it feels like it, yes. You are together so long, it’s like you have to cut the umbilical cord that you have. It did feel hard at times. But then it kept getting better and better. Where I was being SO happy and then sometimes sad in missing him. So it was back and forth but the happiness was outweighing the sad short times. And then it was really great and I was just so happy and then I saw it as the best thing that ever happened to us! Of us being so different! And it is no longer a sad story of what happened but a beautiful, wonderful story – as god had better things for us both to experience! And it’s true. I have never ever been so happy in all my life though, of those four years being single. And he the same. So our times was done. And yes, I did experience so many wonderful incredible things being single!

    So what I wanted to get at, is yes! I agree with you. If you meet your soulmate then yes! Soulmates are for life! Because soulmates are not being together specifically to balance karma. Soulmates come together for as the name says: Soul Mates. Meaning soulmates have so much in common. Where it’s a lasting, forever relationship! And what I am looking forward to, if it’s fated for me to meet a soulmate. They are for life! They are suppose to be great of those who have had them! So yes, I am all for that, of having a soulmate for life. Because you are two souls so much alike – and they are known to be for life – because of the great wonderful match of not being karma, of being together specifically to ‘balance’ a karma. As karmas are known to have not much in common. And soulmates are those who are so happy and laughing and just in love with one another and having a happily-ever-after life together! Because in a past life, you got together not necessarily by fate putting you together but of your own self, or your ego thinking it would be a great match, when it’s not. And thus you then create karma because of it, that has to be balanced your next lifetime. You can create negative energy together that needs balancing.

    So yes, you can have that happily ever after, but I believe it’s with a soulmate. Not necessarily with a karma. Even though some karmas they are happy to stay together even after balancing it. And some don’t wish to. As my ex and me were too different. Wanted different lives to live. And most karmas that are finished they do split as well. Not enough in common to stay together anymore. You see, it is fate that brings people together of having karma to finish. It will be a real strong connection that you feel. And most marry because of it. And yes, they are in love and fell in love. The fate/god has you meet for a reason.

    So now if I meet someone, it will be a soulmate. I am done my karmas. I know as my inner intuition tells me so. I have no more! Now it’s soulmate of what you want, Jonathan. Of happily ever after and forever in growing happily old together! And many people have found that! So yes. That is quite possible to have for your life!

    Take care!

    Sorry I couldn’t say all that in much shorter form. Lol. Forgive me! :^) I really , really didn’t want it to be that long. Lol. Or the other ones either. Trust me! I did not! I just felt SO lead to tell all that for whatever reason – I do not know! If I write you again it will be SHORT! Now that I have said so much about myself, it will be! And I can write. I love writing with a passion too. I type way too fast! But that was even really too long for me too, though! LOL. And this is just a cancer subject board too! So I do not wish to write such long posts – AND also it’s only to be about cancer subjects! So my bad! Won’t happen again! I’m finished anyways, of all I wanted to say!

    • IMO, that’s just it though, you seemed to be so focused in not getting a divorce the idea of it became acceptable for you because of everyone around you. My parents were divorced. I know the impacts ofeach individual parent has on a child. My mother for all tenses and purposes is a good mother sometimes, that’s as far as it goes. Once you remove the title mother and look at her as she is for everyone else, it’s not good. As much as I love her, my father did not make the correct choice. He ignored obvious signs and some other crap I don’t feel like thinking about. Point is, the person you come to love comes to define how your life is for that period of time. You are an Aquarius, my sister is to. I can’t stand her sometimes. In a conversation, she has no sense of tact. While I shapeshift, she blindly goes through the crowd. It’s not like you are her, just that I know how you aquarius can behave sometimes and planning ahead is not one of them. She tackles everything in front of her face. Has a fierce sense of honesty and integrity(when she wants to). And she does not plan or make decisions well. The 5 P’s – proper planning prevents poor performance. These 5 words in this order have NEVER failed me when I implement them properly. And I don’t plan to stop them now. Like I said earlier, it’s just not my or any cancers(i think i can generalize here) cup of tea. I’m not interested in a relationship that will ultimately lead us apart. I would rather befriend you and never let go… So for those of you girls out there that are having this type of problem, he just invisions you two going separate ways and doesn’t want that, so he would end it now or tell you that he doesn’t love you like you do him.

  86. From experience I know that Cancer men are sweet, charming, caring, and loyal. Once a cancer man makes up his mind that he loves you, then he loves you with everything he has. Yes, they can be very moody. And I believe its because they are extremely sensitive, and easily hurt. To protect himself and his heart he will become “crabby”. They love to take things slow. So most of the time they appear unconnected, but they’re just really reluctant to rush things in fear of failing. However, once he loves you or has feelings he will show them. A lot of the time they wont tell you how they truely feel because it leaves them exposed! The best advice I can give is to have patience. And enjoy the sweet ride.

  87. I wasn’t interested in a relationship to lead us apart either… no one is eh? :^) But, it happens. When I studied esoteric spirituality, then everything came together for me. I got it, in other words, in how life works. And knowing so, made everything so much easier for me of why things happen as they do. And I am so so so happy in my life because of this ‘knowledge’. I get it. I get life. There are karma partners you must have to then have a soulmate partner. End of story. :^) So I’m a happy camper, because I’m done my 3 karmas! Which all 3 were! Hurrah! It has me have a very positive outlook ‘cause I get a soulmate now. AND they are for life! Hip Hip Hurrah! :)

    Jonathon, we all usually have that bad story in our life growing up. I did, mostly all of us do. My girlfriends too. It’s a matter of ‘overcoming’. It is. To be strong, and overcome. Yes, sometimes it feels too difficult if not impossible what life seems to hand you sometimes! Trust me, if you saw all I overcame growing up, you would be shocked that I am writing fairly coherent here of my messages! Lol. I am not kidding you! So yes, what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger? That’s for sure! So in overcoming though, all of that, in what we went through, you should congratulate yourself! And I do now! I did it! I overcame all that I went through growing up. And now Jonathon, of me getting a lot of growth in my life, learning self love, I have the most wonderful, sublime extraordinary relationship with my mother! I love her to death now, and she loves me to death too! We are actually BFFs now! It’s a miracle! A beautiful miracle! We love each other sooo much of all we both went through. What she went through in her life too! And myself as well and then we came together. And what I went through with my marriage and divorce – I then could relate and empathise of what she went through. Then that actually formed a real bond between us. I then understood my dear mother of all she went through in her life as well.

    Sometimes Jonathon, if you can see your mother’s past, it will help you to know where she is coming from. What she had to endure as a child, in what made her be the person she is today. So one day, ask her. If she is anything like my mother, she never talked about her upbringing with me ever! Then later when I became more mature as a person, then she felt comfortable and ready to finally tell me. And then Jonathon, I understood why she never spoke of her childhood. Do you understand? I’m sure you do. So sometimes our parents, didn’t have a rose garden life either Jonathon, and it can be just as hard for them, as it is for us, of their upbringing.

    Our parents did the best they could in who they were as a person of where they come from. So when I listened to my dear beloved mother, my heart broke for her and then we created such a bond together. And when we really see where another person was in life, then it all clicks – and we finally put away any bit of judgement we may have towards our parents, and then see them as a human being, just as we are too. We are all imperfect and just doing the best we can. There is a saying; “If I knew better, I would do better.” It’s so true. We just do the best we can of what we know and where we came from in life.

    But when I became older in being mature, we have a heavenly, beautiful mother/daughter relationship now. She is my best friend now. I adore her. I love her to pieces. I am so proud of her of what I learned that she had to endure and then how that made her become the person she was. I was now so proud of her that she did that well! Whereas if you don’t see the whole picture, you think she didn’t do well at all. Then when you take the time to sit down and ‘listen’ to her, of where she came from of her upbringing… then your heart melts of such love for her and that she did extraordinary considering the circumstances of what she had to endure in her upbringing. You see? Because we all have a sad story, don’t we? And so does our mother too, Jonathon. When I heard my mothers sad story, we became instant BFF’s because of it. I never knew! I was too busy wishing to judge her I guess. Now I never do! Because I am so proud of her of what she went through in her life, and she did pretty good considering! And I know all about the mental health issues Jonathon, and you may not realize that you are not alone. Many, many families go through that Jonathon, of all the mental illnesses out there. You are not alone of what you had to endure. Okay? I actually found a forum online that changed my life! When I chatted with others who had the life that I did, of growing up as I did – with what my upbringing entails, it changed my life! It was just knowing that someone else went through almost exactly what I did.. that was like an instant healing! Because I felt so alone in it. That no one understood me of what I had to endure in my upbringing. So when I found a forum of others who were dealing with what I had to deal with growing up, I cried. I just cried with tears streaming down both cheeks that… I’m not alone. I’m not alone, is what I said to myself. For the first time in my life, I didn’t feel alone anymore. More like feeling segregated from the rest of the world, of feeling no one understands me of where I came from, what I had to endure. And it was like an instant healing.

    So I would recommend that for you too. Find a forum that relates to what you had to go through growing up, and read the other people’s posts and comment too and tell your story. I did, and it was like it healed me instantly. I needed more healing after that as well, and got it for myself. But that was the turning point in my life of a much greater, wonderful and happy life, of having such inner ‘joy’ from finding that forum. When I read the posts, I could not believe it! I could not believe that others went through exactly what I went through. And that was it! That’s what I needed to find for full healing in my life! That someone understands! Someone walked in my shoes! I no longer felt alone! And that made me feel ‘one’ with the rest of the world. It was the greatest feeling of not feeling alone and so different, and no one will understand me of what I had endure growing up. But they did! They had to endure the exact same thing I did! And just knowing that, almost just wiped it all away! That I’m not alone. And I had some girls email me as well and talked further. It was great! Such a release for me of all those years of holding that inside, of not really telling anyone of what my life was like.

    But these girls understood exactly where I was coming from, because they came from the exact same place! It was amazing how wonderful I felt of telling others and others having gone through the exact same thing. That I’m not the only one who didn’t have the perfect upbringing. Not to make this long too, I shall go! :^) But it changed my life! So that’s my advice to you. Check out a forum online of other people who went through what you did in your life! Just Google what you are looking for and the forums will come up. Changed my life to relate to others who went through exactly what I did! It was a real release and it felt like it healed me over night! Because you realize, you weren’t the only one who went through that. And they came out of it too and are still standing today, too. They had to overcome too, just as you did. So you see that you weren’t the only one who had that experience, they did too!

    When we overcomes such things, it’s what has us come up higher in our life, to becomes stronger and become the person we wish to be. It’s true. Whatever you endure only makes you a greater person. It really does. In who I am today, I wouldn’t change anything of my past now. Before, I could never say that! It was that difficult. I only do now, because it made me grow and become so strong and a person that today I love! I love myself, of who I am today. Of the person I am. And what I went through made me so strong, as I am today. And that’s because I had to overcome all I did, in making me so STRONG as a person. And happy and so much joy now in my life. So yes. You can overcome in life! You can! And then life can be very beautiful!

    Take care!

    • Believe me, she made it clear how f***ed up her life was. Does not change the fact that you SHOULD grow stronger, she didn’t. She used it as a crutch and used everyone else around her as a crutch because of her past. I’m not turning this into a who had the worst childhood. Everyone’s childhood was difficult in ways each of us cannot understand. I don’t doubt your life was hard. but to me, having your mother threaten to commit suicide while saying you don’t love her… Come the f*** on, of all the people in my life she is the one who has had my love since day f***ing one. That’s the kind of thing that has your cancer man on the ropes. Please I don’t WANT or NEED anybody’s sympathy. I want you to understand that as a result of that, whoever wants to be a part of MY life will not have it easy and I sure as hell ain’t cutting slack regardless of your past. I’m truly happy for you that the relationship with your mother has improved and that you are now close. But if I may say so, any cancer that has been used to the extent I was, and I haven’t even pieced all of the puzzle together, will not be manipulated by anyone or that persons past. A better way for me to say it would be while you have your understanding of life, I have my own. Once you find someone who can communicate with you based off that understanding, then you have found your soulmate. Enjoy the summer folks.

  88. Yeah, I know, it’s tough. But, these things make us come up higher in our life in order to overcome it…in that we must become ‘stronger’. It’s like a push, to become stronger. For me actually, it was learning to raise my consciousness higher, is what had me overcome ALL. It’s the process of what is called; ‘self transcendence’. So spirituality worked for me. Once I started transcending myself – in who I use to be and who I am now… everything came together. It’s like your strength can actually pull UP people around you who wish to come up higher in life too.

    I just straightened out my own life. Worked on my psychology in getting healing and then learning to love myself… and from there, it worked. It was when I finally learned to love myself, my life all came together for me. And learning of this esoteric spirituality, really did it for me. Of all I needed to learn to be happy. To have joy and actually have inner peace. And even to a wonderful relationship with my mother, later on.

    You see, when you fix yourself, you can actually fix others. You really can. Because you have the tools to have them fix their life too. When you fix your life, you are now an ‘example’. And you can’t really help anyone, unless you helped yourself and can help only through ‘example’. So it shows a person that if you can do it, so can they. Because you found the tools to know how – and then you show them how, by your… ‘example.’ And honestly.. it works. Fix You and it fixes others around you. Or those you have in your life. Not all others, but some others who wish to come up higher in life, it works. Because people have freewill and life is a ‘choice’. So you can’t help everyone, but some you can, who are willing like you – to come up higher. Of them ‘choosing’ to have a better life too. It’s all about fixing your psychology.

    So no matter what condition your parents are in or were in when you were a child, when you become an adult, it’s now your responsibility to fix you. And that’s what I did. I read books on healing from abuse. Because all abuse will equal emotional abuse of what people may go through in their life. So we can suffer emotional abuse. So it’s a matter of getting healing, of doing the proper steps involved to get full healing where you are actually ‘whole’. Therapy works and it’s where it’s at. I read lots of books, then saw a psychologist to see if I did the proper work of being healed now. And she told me not to come back! That she had people seeing her for over 10 years and are still seeing her, and they didn’t even go through nearly as much as what I had to endure in my life! I saw her 3 times and then that’s when she said don’t come back, I don’t need her, that I did excellent of my own work! So that’s why I went on a forum of others experiencing exactly what I did too, before I read some books. But the forum was people who when through the exact same thing that I did. So it was very healing of chatting with these people and reading of their experiences on the forum. Sure didn’t feel alone anymore of what I had to go through.

    So anyone else out there, you can get complete healing in your life of becoming ‘whole’ of whatever you went through in your life. It is possible. Therapy does work. It does. But like anything, find a good one, as there are bad therapists as there are excellent ones. Ask your doctor to refer you to a really good one, of who everyone is saying is really good.

    I think I pick up your vibes Jonathon of your feelings for ‘Aquarius’. Lol. I do. Lol…. Sorry, that’s what I am of who I am of the month I was born.. :) Therapy works Jonathon. I only wish I didn’t wait so long before I got help for myself, BUT I wasn’t ready yet to accept I needed therapy – or even knew much about it. I was still in what is called the ‘denial’ stage of even experiencing emotional abuse. I just didn’t really know too much about therapy at the time. But then a met a nice gal online and she experienced abuse and told me about therapy and about abuse and having to do the proper steps in order to heal 100% from it.. And that was the first time I really knew much about it.

    So thanks to her, she opened my eyes to know that I did experience abuse of emotional abuse. Sure glad I met her. So her telling me so much of the process of ‘healing’ of what you must do to heal from abuse, really blew me away. I was actually healing right there by her emails alone! But the psychologist was really good too and right on the money! Man she was good! It was like.. bam bam bam… she would just nail everything I said of relating to exactly what I went through and what I was feeling and why I was feeling it. And I was just healing instantly, even more in seeing her. Each .. bam I was healed instantly. So it was like.. heal heal heal of bam bam bam. :^)

    A really good book I bought is called; “Toxic Parents, overcoming their hurtful legacy and reclaiming your life” by Susan Forward, Ph. D. That book is *EXCELLENT*!!! That may change many a person’s life!!! I’m not kidding! That is a book on the steps to truly heal 100% – all wrapped up in a nice little nut shell for you! Excellent book if you want true joy and happiness and peace of being so happy of becoming ‘whole’ in your life! Of complete healing of what you may have suffered in your life! It’s also a #1 New York times bestseller. I can see why! Sure did a great number for my life, is all I’m saying! A great, beautiful number – in eventually helping me to find complete healing and ‘wholeness’ in my life of much joy. I am very happy today in my life. My life is good. It was mostly just that book alone. I bought another one too called; “ The emotionally abused woman, overcoming destructive patterns and reclaiming yourself,” by Beverly Engel, M.F.C.C. And also; “Adult children of abusive parents, a healing program for those who have been physically, sexually, or emotionally abused. By Steven Farmer, M.A; M.F.C.C. But, I highly recommend the ‘toxic parent’ book if you are only going to read just ONE.

    The thing with any kind of trauma or abuse be it even just emotional abuse – that you may experience, you will usually always have ‘anger’ from it. And sometimes and most times, great anger. That is because the body is trying to protect you from the toxic person. So the anger is like a protective barrier. So, when you do finally get healing – that anger goes away and leaves you for good. The anger is caused from great hurt in your life. And the anger having you stay away from the individual who is hurting you. So anyone who has a lot of anger, it can be caused by suffering a lot of hurt in your life. The hurt then turns to anger that the body uses as a protective shield. And then that is where therapy comes in. Doing the proper steps in how to take your ‘POWER’ back – is what it is called – that is taken from you when you suffer abuse of any kind. And when you take your POWER back that is stolen from you of the process of abuse, then you become ‘EMPOWERED’ again in your life, and lose the anger – and find the joy once again and great happiness and wholeness!

    Therapy works! It really does. Works like a charm! Anyone who has experience abuse in their life, I recommend 100% to get therapy!!! Be happy in life! Don’t waste years living unhappy when you don’t have to! And abuse of course, can cause ‘depression’ and also severe depression as well. And when you get healing and stay away from a toxic/abusive person, then the depression can leave you! Abuse can cause depression. It really can. And then leave you, when the toxic abuse is no longer in your life AND you have taken the proper steps in how to take your POWER back that was stolen from you of which many are unaware of happening. And when doing so, then you reclaim your joy, happiness and peace and ‘wholeness’ as a person. Therapy can have you take your life back of a great, beautiful life! It works!!! Worked for me 100% It really did.

    That’s why I said Jonathon, we have to fix our psychology to become whole and so happy with so much joy and of eventually learning to finally LOVE OUR SELF. You have to heal from abuse, as it takes your power, and we don’t even realize it was stolen from us. And when you do take your power back, you are then loving yourself. Because only a person who loves themselves, will get help for themselves. If you do not love yourself, you will not help yourself as you are not loving yourself. So love yourself today and go get help! Get therapy! Or get self help books of healing from abuse! Therapy works, as I said!

    Many people live for years or all their life in denial of ever getting therapy to heal 100% -which you can, and which I have! So if a person is living in denial that they were ever even abused, then no, no one can help them. They can only help themselves by coming out of denial. So it’s to become ‘aware’ in your life, that you were even abused, that you can ever get help. And any situations of what they may be – can be considered emotional abuse and it’s of the same category as all abuse. But, you can help wake a person up though, that was abused and is living in denial, to take back their life – of being a truly happy person with such ‘joy’ again. Abuse robs you of ‘joy’ is what it does and can give you depression in return and/or great anger and sometimes and most times great rage as well.

    Take care! All the best. Enjoy the summer, I am too! I love the nice hot weather we are having now. Its nice. :^)

    • Ok, please don’t let my feelings towards my sister be confused with my feelings for Aquarius sign people in general. My relationship with my sister is complicated due to my mother and the habits we unfortunately picked up with her. We both know what the other persons buttons are and how to push them to get under each others skin faster than you can even think. So while I typed that, she was using her Aquarius nature as a button to piss me off. I have nothing against you at all, your positivity makes the world a better place. To bad a negative one has to come along to balance it out. It’s interesting because while we are signs of the mind we can get so sick of our nature. Everything you have said about loving yourself, I agree with. Just not about the love. My sister being younger than me unfortunately did not have the same opinion I do and hopped into the first persons lap who said he loved her and she felt love at first sight(it crashed an burned harder and hotter than the Hindenburg). This is why I can’t support that logic. Love at first sight may be a combination of feelings that can match love, but combined the ability to truly understand someone, then you will be in TRUE love, the kind that never changes or goes away. For me , love is a constant. Regardless of what my environment is, my love will remain and stay the same. In algebra, numbers are constants while letters can represent variables. For me my feelings are numbers. Life is the variable. And it’s my goal to control my life in a way that regardless of the variables, I know what the outcome is. Maybe this makes us more stubborn than others, just in a subtle way, because while others will charge the obstical, I would simply go around and avoid it altogether. Maybe for some their karma is based off of relationships, mine IMO is based out of the curse of being trapped in my head sometimes. Those moody days can be some of the most gut wrenching times you could imagine. If living through that isn’t enough than I’ll just enjoy the peace and quite life I invision if I’m single.

  89. I think Jonathan is amazing TO be so young hes merely here trying to explain to us what goes on in his mind and emotions to try and help us see through his eyes . He is wise beyond his years GOd Bless him I will forever be thankful for him . I think he is right where he needs to be!!!!

    • I don’t deserve this comment. The help I receive is more than enough compensation. I can’t say I would be here otherwise. So I’m just a selfish prick :(. Mainly I’m trying to learn from your experiences so I don’t do the same thing to women that has happened to you ladies…

  90. The love at first sight thing, is just that people can believe in god, and so they also believe in fate, and that god/fate brings this person to them. And then in esoteric spirituality it teaches that you either have karma relationships or soul mate relationships. And mostly everyone has karma relationships they must finish/balance before they can have a soul mate relationship…. That is for LIFE! :)

    So fate brings you your karma relationships first, and so I believe my ex-boyfriend was a karma. And with karma there is a very strong connection you feel for each other. Or some people will call it chemistry. And it’s strong and you then love the person very much because of it, as you really like the person and it turns to really loving the person. Because you just want to get to know them and know everything about them. So it can be called ‘love’ then of the strong interest you have for the person. You just love everything about them… so people then get married because of it. They want to live with the person, sleep with the person, go out shopping with the person, on vacations in just wishing to ‘be’ with them. So it’s then called ‘love’. To like someone so strongly ‘and’ passionately can be called ‘love’ – of liking something so very much, they then call it love.

    It’s like that. That’s how it was for me. When I first saw him, we recognized each other ‘instantly’. Because, as esoteric spirituality also teaches; we have many lives which is referred to as reincarnation. So in your past life time, you were partners. And then fate has you meet up again to be partners again, as you have karma to balance. You have karma to balance because in your past life time, you allowed your ego to… more or less bring you together instead of listening to fate – of the perfect partner which fate had for you. So I guess if a person is living through their lower self the ‘ego’ as opposed to their higher self, then they will be listening to their ego in life… which is a complete moronic imbecile. :^) And thus… a bad match. :^) Or… being a very bad match. :^) But because of the connection being and feeling so strong you want to partner with them, and people do.. until they balance karma that they did not finish doing in their past life time. So … we just pick up where we left off of life time after lifetime.

    So.. it’s like that. You feel that you have known them forever! Because we have. We always repeat the same life over and over and over and over again. Of the same partner we are ‘drawn; to each lifetime. Because … we keep having karma to balance with them and we can create more karma with them too, if were are not careful. But, when a person starts to live more enlightened in their life, and wishing to raise their consciousness higher, then they can finally balance the karma with the person. It’s actually just finally living in peace and love in your life. No longer living in what is called the duality consciousness of wishing to fight or give back evil for evil.

    It’s to raise your consciousness higher and give back good for evil when someone wishes to give you evil. Because the universe is actually set up by god, that whatever you give out, comes back to YOU. I’m sure you read the book; “the secret.” It’s like that. Or people like to say; “what goes around comes around.” That’s karma. It’s esoteric spirituality that Jesus and the Buddha taught. That is BEFORE the Romans got their hands on Jesus’ teachings and totally edited it all and even burned most of it and left just a tiny little bit left that’s called the ‘bible’ – that the average person can’t really find this kingdom of heaven within them, after what the Roman’s did to Jesus’ original teachings. They obliviated it. What a shame.

    …So when you meet a karma partner, oh yes, the connection is so strong. Because you also feel you know them! Because, you subconsciously remember them from your past life of many, many life times you have lived (as we have many past lives) until we get it right as esoteric spirituality teaches and you ascend. When you are wishing to live in ‘love’ in loving yourself and being love and not give back evil for evil but live as gentle as doves but wise as serpents, as Jesus taught, (Matthew 10:16), then you can possibly ascend and have no more embodiments.

    Also, people can have very short karmas… such as your sister! :) It’s true! She may have had karma with this young man, that she needed to balance. And… maybe she did balance it with him! So.. that a good thing! Congratulations to her! Of meeting him and being done with him now – and she will then move on to more karmas if she has them (we usually do) and when she is done balancing karmas, THEN she can meet a soul mate. You can have many soulmates to choose from but then god usually chooses the one that would be a perfect match for you. And then… you eventually meet them, when you have finished your karmas. That is just what is taught in esoteric spiritual teachings!

    You must not have met a karma partner yet Jonathon… is all. Wait for it! Lol. And get back to me when you do! LOL. ‘Cause… she is going to knock your socks… right off baby!!! LMBO!!! (Laugh my butt off!!!). :) AND I WANT TO HEAR BACK ABOUT IT TOO!! Lol!

    …. I wonder what happened to Thewayiis???? Hope he comes back soon! :) I miss his posts! He writes good posts too. :)

  91. Jonathon, it is very interesting of learning about you in being cancer. I really enjoy it. As I said, I don’t remember having too many cancers in my life… if at all, for some reason. I guess Aquarius and cancer are suppose to be the opposite. My ex married a cancer gal, and him being Gemini, are also suppose to be opposites. He is an air sign and you are a water sign? But, they get on great! So guess it’s not always true.

    So cancer is a mind sign. I’m a mind sign being Aquarius, but I am a air sign, not a water sign. So is it true, that cancers are old fashion? Do you feel you are that way? Please write more about yourself if you wish, I really enjoy it, in learning more about cancer of what they are like.

    And yes you are correct in what you said your sister is like being Aquarius. We hate to plan anything. Lol. And the reason being, is that we are very spontaneous. I love being spontaneous. We are FREE spirits in believing in freedom with a passion! Everyone must be FREE! :) And we are very honest. And love honour and integrity and very loyal and faithful. And we also love solitude very much. So we don’t usually have a problem in being alone, as we are also very independent. The quality I love about Aries, is that they are a very honest sign.

    So a cancer man, when he REALLY has his sights on a certain women, is he usually faithful to her for… life? In other words; are cancer very faithful and loyal. Because Aquarius are. Are cancers too? I heard they aren’t and then I heard they are. So, what is it?

    • Humans are not perfect regardless of their sign. The karma and universe huh. If we want to go there, then I’ll start here. The universe is an equation that seeks equilibrium. In physics, electrons are balanced by protons. – and +. And they seek equilibrium. Everything does. When there is a positive, the universe gives a negative to balance it. God, eh, if he is out there im not interested in him. As i am now, i enjoy the cold harsh reality, it’s fascinating to see things from this perspective. One of the things about life so that i have noticed is that the number of good thing and bad things that you experience are balanced. While my mother was off in lala land, my father was busting his ass raising us so that if he died the next day we would have the necessary lessons in life to keep us going cause god knows my mother wouldn’t. This made me grow up fast. I got my sister up everyday and supervised her everyday while my dad was at work. I had a weird brother/father relationship with her that morphed into a brother only once she got old enough for her free spirit to carry her self. She still looks to me sometimes to make decisions for her cause it’s easier to have someone else decide and take responsibility…annoying as hell. So while I had one parent in the negative, I had one in the positive. I couldn’t really tell you about myself without being all over the map, kinda like an ocean, we would float along in whatever direction while I ran off with my mouth. I don’t need a therapy lesson right now or ever by you guys, I trust that you will simply absorb the feelings a cancer MAY be hiding, I would probably blacklist this site in my head and never return if you disappoint me. Try me. I never had time to think about myself. The last time was in the 3rd grade, honestly. I was myself then. Then when my mother started going loopy, I stopped, frozen in a trance like state. That was 4th grade, I don’t remember much it was a haze. 5th grade was when I went south. I was angry and didn’t realize it until a few months ago. Her behavior that NEEDED constant affection like I was a fucking dog. She showed the dog more affection than me which I find hysterical. She manipulated us and turned my father into a giant ogre, which I realized eventually and still feel like shit for cause he realized it and the pain in his eyes made me infuriated at her. She blames the failing of the marriage on him and takes no responsibly for anything she does wrong to this day. I can’t have time to think about myself when the emotions that she INSPIRES in me tear me apart. My love for her, anger, sadness, all of it at once when I think of her. I seal it away kinda and let some out occasionally, kinda like a 2 liter soda that has been tossed around a little and needs the carbonate to leak out slowly. I laugh at the idea of finding someone before I sort that shit out. So to answer your question about what I’m like, I can tell you that while you are free to sore through the wind, I stay in the dark of the ocean contemplating how to come to the surface in a manner that suits what I want. Sounds kinda boring huh, we’ll its not, I hang out with friends, go places often, work with my Aries grandfather learning how to fix anything wrong with a house/apartment you name it. But I keep my head to myself. Never put to much information in one basket, my sister probably knows 60% of me. I came to this site and others trying to find myself more and more. I found that sharing with you guys was helpful and organized my thoughts better. Therapists can rot in hell for all I care, they only tell you what you want to hear and I’m not interested in having smoke blown up my ass to inflate me. You guys are an IP address on here so I’m not to worried about facing you or seeing you ever. And I’ve said all I’m really interested in saying. I probably have repeated myself 10 times at least and am not interested in turning this into my life story. I find helping you, helps me. Thats the only reason. Trust me I wouldn’t be here typing this otherwise. You should know my rising sign is Leo, Venus in Virgo, and moon in Scorpio. Its funny cause i never cared about this before my mother left. It wasn’t until she left that I realized something was genuinely wrong with me. Whenever others would burst out and say what is troubling them, I would contain, suppress, and push aside. I began putting others before myself. You could say it was out of kindness but it would be bull. It was because it was the only thing I knew how to do. I was my mothers counselor from 5th grade up. And focused on how to return her into the mother she was in my 3rd grade. In some ways I still hope it’s possible. But that’s it for now. I probably won’t be back for a while cause that was to much right there. Sorry for the mess.

  92. It wasn’t a mess, Jonathan. Nothing wrong with what you wrote at all. And, I don’t know who you are. And even if I did, wouldn’t matter to me. Who cares? What I have been through in my own life, trust me… I understand. Been there, done that.. sort of thing. One thing I think I have learned from the cancer man, is that they have so much wonderful emotion. It’s like I feel it from you. My heart just aches, of feeling your emotion. The thing is, it’s not a bad ache though. It’s actually a lovely ache, if that makes sense. Like an ache of love, for you Jonathan. I think when I read your posts, it just registers with me of understanding where you’ve been. ‘Cause most of us, have been at the very exact place. Maybe that’s the ache of love I feel for you of understanding where you’ve been. I’ve been there too.

    So how I take it, is that cancers are really shy. So am I. And when you feel, you spill too much.. and you want to escape and escape fast? Well, I do, that’s how I am. And you are very intelligent, Jonathan. The other cancer men I have met are too. So what I get is cancers are very intelligent. Very much so. Even though they seem to try to hide so much, can’t hide their intelligence though. So what I got mostly from cancer of what I admired, was your intelligence. Like that very much. So it’s like you hide? Like.. inside that crab shell? Is that what it is? So you are then very sensitive then? Well so am I. So sounds similar to Aquarius even though we are suppose to be so different. Doesn’t seem that we are from getting to know you.

    It seems to me, that when you get to know a cancer… they take off! Lol. It’s too funny. Lol. You just … scram! I see your little crabby crab legs just scurrying off in a hurry.. sideways though. LOL. When I joke Jonathan, it’s with the utmost respect for you, eh? Because you are so lovely. Cancers are such a lovely, beautiful sign. Because you are so intelligent yet you are also so sensitive and that’s what has a women fall in love with a cancer man. Right there. And then you have many other lovely qualities too such as a great sense of humour.

    But what I pick up mostly from you is such sensitivity. I love that because I was told alllllll my life; “you are too sensitive.” Yet we are suppose to be sensitive as we aren’t suppose to put up walls. But people do, ‘cause they get hurt. So my heart actually aches with this wonderful love for a cancer man. Of the sensitivity and intelligence, which is unreal. But I guess it’s the sensitivity that I am as well, being Aquarius. And then you are shy? And then hide? You like to hide and take off when too much emotions were expressed by you? From knowing another cancer, he’s like that too. Exactly the same. My heart seems to swell so huge around a cancer man. The most lovely feeling, like a fire burning in my heart of real true love of divine love of spirit love. An energy that is of god. Not physical love, but spiritual love, just the energy of love in it’s pure form.

    So yes, that’s what I get. When a cancer starts to reveal himself emotionaly… because maybe he feels he has to for his own benefit in life of ‘growth’ – then it’s a little overwhelming for you? To say it lightly? And then you take off? Go and hide under a rock? LOL. Sorry. Lol, lol. It is actually so adorable. So sweet. I LOVE cancer men. I really do. Because.. to me, they are sooo adorable, so sweet… that it’s like a syrupy, sugary sweet. It’s like you try to be mean but you can’t? Lol! It’s like you may even come off that you are, but your tender underbelly is too soft.. .you can’t do it, ‘cause you are too sweet. It’s not of you. Lol. It’s not possible. I need to find a cancer soul mate. LMBO!! I really really do if I can ever get one! Lol. He will be scurrying away from me SO FAST under his rock when he sees me coming! LMBO!!! In other words; … I’m never ever going to ever be able to have a cancer man for my soulmate. Shucks!!! LOL. To my great dismay I must say ‘cause they are so adorable, so sweet it’s not even funny. Jonathan you are so adorable. You really are. It’s like you express all these emotions.. and then you just silently leave and then you are gone. LMBO! Ohhh my… too funny.

    I’m really sorry for all you had to go through. My heart really aches for you. It really does. But it doesn’t ache in the way that others may feel pain. When my heart aches it’s not really an ache but more of a fire of love of god. It is. Pure divine energy of love.

    ….Jonathan, when one sees a ‘good’ psychologist (who doesn’t deal with drugs, that’s a psychiatrist), all it is, is that you tell your story. And then she listens and then just gives her 2 cents. And when the psychologist gave her 2 cents, it was as I said; “bam bam bam!” She was just so dead on – of what I experienced and then asking me if I felt this and felt it this way…. and then telling me why. And she was so dead on accurate that It felt like; bam bam bam in getting healing right then and there. And walking out like I was on cloud nine! It was amazing that she was understanding EVERYTHING I went through. She was good though. She was known to be very good, in what she did. And she was! So it’s not like the movies? As you were telling me about the fantasy of movies and romance type love. Well it’s not like that with a psychologist either that you see at the movies. Not at all.

    With me I just pored out my story very plainly and simply and then she told me what she got out of it and it was unreal. Didn’t need to go back, I was good! Lol. That’s how good she was. So say… you go see her. And you tell her what happened at home with your mom. Then she gives you her 2 cents of it and then that’s what happened to me of it really registered for me of what she was saying. And.. didn’t have to come back… because of it. I got it, in other words. I got it so easily where others who were seeing her still haven’t got it… after 10 years she told me. I got it on the first session. Lol. And the next two I didn’t get much out of it and then she said; your good! Don’t come back. ‘Cause I guess I was. I did the work before seeing her.

    Jonathon, I am sorry for what you had to go through. Does it help in saying that most of us all went through that too? I did. You aren’t the only one. But it’s hard, I know, been there. But I believe everything happens for a real good reason. It’s for our… GROWTH. It makes you grow and come up higher and overcoming it by… ‘transcending’ it. Where it doesn’t exist anymore when you transcend it all and come up higher from it. Coming up higher in consciousness. As quantim physics taught; everthing is consciousness! And as Albert Einstien taught; You can’t solve a problem with same consciousness that created it.” So, raise your consicousness higher! In what we are suppose to do. And by overcome it all by transcending it all, it makes you strong like TITANIUM. And I don’t mind being as strong as titanium. I really don’t. I like it. I really do.

    I came on here, because I wanted to get to know a cancer man I knew better. And I do now. From you Jonathan, I get them now. So thank you. You got something out of this site and so did I. So that’s great. That’s what life is all about. Everything comes together in it’s own time, in life. It’s one step at a time. That’s what I believe in how you live your life. Just one day at a time, is how we are to live our life. What I believe anyways and what works for me. As Eckhart Tolle wrote in his book; to live in the NOW. it’s true. yesterday is gone and no longer exists and tommorow isn’t here yet. So you are living for ‘today’ in the NOW.

    So maybe you feel then that cancer and Aquarius are really different? It may be true in some ways. But my ex was Gemini and he was a real planner. But we got on very well because of it. He did all the planning and I didn’t. Lol. I was the spontaneous one and he actually loved it. He did. He loved my spontaneity because he found it very exciting. Because being Gemini and a mind sign he didn’t like being bored. And he said I was his constant entertainment and he said one thing about me, is that I’m never boring. Lol. I’m a mind sign too so I come up with all kinds of marvellous ideas to put into action and he usually loved being the one doing so!

    I know our upbringings are always easy. I’m sorry all that happened to you. I really am. My heart aches for you because you are so sensitive, and so sweet and have so much ‘feeling’ and where the rest of us seem not to feel as much as a cancer does. So my heart really goes out to you. But maybe in life, we all need each other. We all need our differences of the different zodiac signs. It’s true. But you know… we all go through that too Jonathon, of what you had to at home. And sometimes in different ways but still feeling it the same of the pain and the hurt. I think so. That’s why I love my life today, there is no more pain and hurt in it. But.. I did the work. I took responsibility for myself – is what I did and doing so… reaps great rewards. You don’t feel pain anymore in your life. Thank god. I experienced my share that I don’t need to experience anymore. I’m done!

    But it is hurtful and it is painful of living the way we did in our past. And then being on my own for so long, then you don’t have to live in it any longer. But, you have to then heal from it, and that can take a number of years. But, once you do finally finish healing from it, then you can finally experience a beautiful, wonderful life with no more pain in it at all. Thank god. And that’s what I have today. So anyone else out there who experienced their share of pain, you can reach a point in your life where you no longer are experiencing pain anymore. In where I am now today. So life can be good. Yesterday is gone. It’s over. Doesn’t exist. We just have today ‘NOW”. Yesterday is gone and over with. So make your today great! It’s your life now and make it beautiful! That’s why I suggest healing – to eventually get to loving yourself. And then you are okay in life when you reach that stage of ‘self love’. Then you are okay. I will end this, just so that it won’t be so long.

    Maybe what it is.. is that you have real raw emotions? I think so. As I even seem to feel it off of you. That ache in my heart. But it’s a good ache of love. It is. A love for you Jonathan of any pain and hurt you went through in your life. I just want to take it into my heart to take it from you so you won’t have it anymore. Me I can take it and then have it burn in my heart of a fire and it will disappear. That’s what I am already feeling I am doing. Taking your pain and then having it burn in my heart of a flame of fire of love – and then having it be no more! Disappearing and gone forever! No longer exists, Jonathan.

    But it was not easy, I know, in where we can come from. It really isn’t. But I just want to say that it does get better. Way better where your life is good now. You can get there too. Where your life is now beautiful and wonderful without anymore pain and hurt. But you are right, humans are not perfect. This is true. None of us are and never will we be, in being human.

    Take care.

  93. Cancer men can be very loving, sweet and sensitive, but they can also be very hurtful and cruel. Trust me.. I know! I was married to a cancer man once. And recently ended a relationship with a cancer man who broke my heart. Things were going amazing and then we had a misunderstanding one night about a month ago and things just didnt get fixed.. He decided to basically shut me out. I wish I could fix things between us.. I really do, but he’s completely shut me off. So I’m walking away. Hurt, very hurt. The things he said to me in our last conversation were so cruel and hurtful.

    • yeah your are right, they are hurtful and cruel. there was this cancer guy i felt in love with. i can say that my experience with him was the most painful thing that ever happened to me but i am very much ok now..

  94. From my experience with men, is that a lot of times, men want sex. So when I wanted a relationship and not just sex, I would not have sex with a man unless I was in a committed relationship. Because then I knew the man wanted the relationship with me, and not just the sex. Because sometimes if you take away the sex, the man doesn’t want to be with you. He doesn’t really want the relationship, but he does want sex. So that is just my personal experience in life. To find out if a man really loves you, and wants a committed relationship with you, then don’t have the sex, to find out. And then when you find out a man wants a committed relationship with you, then add the sex. Because you know it’s you he wants, not the sex – that then comes with the committed relationship. It’s to base a foundation of a committed relationship of two people loving one another and wishing to share their lives ‘together’. And then add the sex, once you have that foundation.

    • Hi Miss Curious. Actually the Moon and 4th house, which rule the sign Cancer are known for their direct downfall to the planet Mars. Mars is where we “get our sex drive” and our burning drive to get down and dirty.. So someone with Mars in Cancer for example, or sun, moon, venus, or 4th house/aries will have a very irregular sex drive. They’ll go a week like a freak and not feel an itch for a month afterwards. All Cancer men are different. I’ve known total perverts and virginal angels. They’re all very unpredictable- That’s what you can count on.

  95. Helpwmrcrab, I couldn’t agree more. Jonathan has and is still helping me with my Crab Man. He is wise beyound his young years. I hope he realized how much he has helped us and how much we appreciate him!!!!

  96. Hello Christy, thank you for sharing this! I am a cancer female myself and dating a cancer guy. He is the most strange and moody person I have ever met. He says he loves me, but then out of sudden he can get really quiet and dont say anything. Sometimes I just really dont get him, he likes the attention of all the girls around him and cant stand when someone rejects him. Why is this so important to him if he has me as his gf and says he loves me. He chased me for a lot of time before I became his gf and in the beginning our relationship was like a fairytale… everything was just so perfect… he said he had never felt that way and that i mean a lot to him. But as the time passes he sometimes gets very strange and distant… he still likes the girls attention and when something is wrong he wont tell me, he is a very closed person. One day he opened up to me and told about his past and a lot of stuff about himself.. than the next day he was acting very strange and distant.
    Yesterday he told me how much he loved me again after a perioud of fights and being distant… (I was angry with him cause he was flirting with other girls so I was pretty cold with him).. than after that I asked him do you know how much time weve been together now, its a test i said lol he was like hmm.. maybe 2 months? so he was not sure.. I got angry again like you dont even remember that.. he than out of the sudden acted strange and got distant again… Ugh.. I wish I could know what he is thinking sometimes… Now he doesnt call me neither texts me after that… he got quiet again.
    Having a relationship with him is like a rollercoaster… it gets sometimes depressing… but I still love him and as a cancer myself I have difficulties letting him go… Does he simply now value our relationship? shall I let him go?

    • Hi Jimenez. No it all sounds very typical. They’ll test you for quite a while. My guy is a cancer and we were friends for a year before he would call me his girlfriend. but we were dating. it hurt for a long time. now i understand the just like their space. let him feel admired but trust your instinct. if you feel like he’s being honest (crazy emotions and any desperation aside) then go with it. Saying I love you to a cancer man is a big deal.. Unless he’s a scumbag lair. Hopefully you’ve got enough judgement to tell.. Good luck!

  97. My further insight……Cancer is a very appropriate name for them.Think about that!!Keep looking down the road if you want a Real Man:-)

    • Hi there GaFreedom. My boyfriend is a cancer and he’s a wonderful man. Just because women don’t understand cancer men does not make them a “cancer” to anyone. Sure they can be crabby sometimes. Everyone is. My man is a real man AND a cancer. I don’t typically approve of suggestive insults or negative comments. Thanks for posting and please keep this in mind next time.

  98. A Cancer man helping?? LOL…Sorry but they are leading you into the maze!! Trust me,you dont want to go there:-)

    • GaFreedom at the end of a maze is usually a great lesson about the self. Everything in life is lesson, everything must be learned from. Sometimes going there is good.

  99. GaFreedom. tell me about your experience with a Cancer man. I have been there for over a year now. When it was good it was really good and when it was bad it was bad. They love to play mind games, and are extremely moody and sensitive. But on the other hand they can be super sweet, caring, a gentleman, etc. But change on a dime. I agree with you that you don’t want to go there unless you are fully armed with knowledge about their personalities. And they do lead you into a maze and you never find your way out of that maze until they are ready for you to. I am not sure but I believe no matter how hard you try you never can get away from them. Maybe physically but not mentally. I am having a hard time letting him go…

  100. This is for Sueellen.But first I have to say…I know Christina Ren dosent like people being negative,I dont like negativity either but How can you be honest and also not be negative.I deal with reality and reality is not always positive.In order To be honest,I have to include the negative part. I do not lie for anyone.I’ve dated two Cancer men and have met others that I would not date.I can not honestly say “All ” cancer men are bad,because I dont know all of them.But neither can anyone say they’re all good because they haven’t met all of them either.From my experience’s and what I’ve read over and over again on the internet about Cancer men…I know I’m not the only one who has seen the awful negative ones. But ….a woman can and do get over a Cancer man.It is not impossible by any means.Start being good to yourself.Every chance you get.Value yourself.Do what you enjoy doing,even find new hobbies and interests.It will take a little time but you will get over them and if he’s a bad one,you will be so happy you did..One reason why its hard at first is because the,I’ll say bad cancers, are so good at emotional manipulation.Try to be strong,even if you fail at times.Do the work and get over them.If you know God,that’s also a great way to get whole again.You will come out of it stronger than before!!Even if you think you were strong before,you’ll be twice as strong afterwards!! It will turn to your good.Then you can find a man who wont emotionally manipulate you and wont even feel the need to.Trust me,you’ll then see what real Love is.Best of luck to you .You can do it and feel so good about YOU.Put that love toward yourself.Read all you can about getting over manipulative people.Read things that empower YOU:-) Never continue a relationship that weakens you..A good relationship will make you feel good about you.You know somewhere inside you deserve better and you will find a good man that you love so much more!!You will be glad you did it for YOU:-) I will say the one Cancer I dated never could keep a woman and blamed every woman he had ever been with,for it…Saying it was the woman’s fault.He took no responsibility in any relationship.Then he would attempt to make me feel sorry for him.Over time things just didnt add up and I knew I was being manipulated.The other cancer man I met I dated awhile but I broke up with him.He married later and even introduced me to his wife.I thought great,he’s found someone and moving on to be happy..Nope,before a year later he was back at my house.I told him his wife would not like that and he’d have to go.But it wasnt the last time,in my life,that I had to tell him.These were not young men.If they’d been young I might have attributed their immaturity to their age.But these were older men(40-45).When you get stronger I dont think you’ll want to see him again.I just hate to see a woman being played and being played that badly.The Cancer men I dated were adamant,though it wasnt obvious to me at first,to change me and live life their way so “they” would be comfortable.That way they take no risks.All the risk is on you.I could go on and on but I hope this is enough for you to make up your own mind and love yourself…and find a strong man.You will one day and it will be so worth it.A weak man will keep you drained and then you’ll wish you never met him. and the longer you take to let go,the longer it will take for you to feel good again.Find a strong one,you’ll be so happy and be in a great relationship.Unhook that cancers claws.It might be tough at first ,but You can do it,for you…so you can move on and be really happy.You’ll see.Especially when you find that great man.Let the cancer deal with his own problems.Its not your problem.Go forward to a better Life and Love.Dont waste your time.Benefit from it.:-)

    • First of all I thank you. Your comment seems to have kicked started the transition from a bad mood to a better one. There is a one thing I need to comment on that I believe is incorrect. First of all, there are good AND bad people out there REGARDLESS of their signs. Who’s to say who is the worst between 2 signs? That’s up to each individual person, Ga seems to think cancers are more cancerous than brain tumors. I agree with the transition you made from talking about cancers to talking about men in general. It should not just be for cancer men that you do what is best for you, but in all situations with men in a relationship. The more you end up trying to change each other shows how much you really aren’t compatible. Just like you say the man should not be a cause for change for women, i view the same way in reverse. Im not going to change just like you aren’t going to change. Is that wrong? Does that make me a weak man? I feel bad for the “real man” that thought i wasn’t and tried to see if it was true back in high school(he dropped out soon after). Its nothing new to say that i am a complicated person and that everyone has their issues. This is a two way road, just like I’m a problem, you are a problem. I believe in equal responsibility, don’t ask me to contribute what you are not contributing yourself. GaFreedom, YOU are RESPONSIBLE for how things turn out. ALL of you ladies are. Dont date some asshole just because he says some nice words, but why date a bad boy who is emotionless as well? Don’t completely rip a group of people for their issues when you have your own qualities that prevent you from being with someone yourself. I have a real curiosity to understand you more GaFreedom, cause im not sure why you would date these 2 men if they are not real men? Maybe they peaked YOUR curiosity, then when you got to close, you decided that it was no good? Yea, thats probably what made them weird, you always had your bags packed ready to go, figuratively, if things failed? Anyways, I agree with what you say regarding everything but the whole real man bs, i think thats why your comment has me on edge, i agree with the message overall, but am distracted from the negative. AND yes, positive and negative go hand and hand in life. Better start learning how to deal with it now.

      • Very True Mr. Jonathan-
        Lots of people are “bad people”. Even the sweetest Libras can be air-heads full of their own agenda.. Not unusual to find a Saint of a Gemini who is a selfish freak with mood swings.. Or a Taurus who can’t stop arguing. Regardless of someones Astrology blueprint we all have demons.

        I was told years ago by an Astrologer that my Scorpio rising sign “Was a kiss worth than death” I’d never heard such a negative thing about my rising sign!! I understand now what she meant- that it has potential to be very destructive. Like you said, it’s all about taking responsibility for yourself. Without the positive there is no “negative” all “bad things” are actually “good things” wrapped up in a mirror/lesson for us to understand.

        I’ve dated some true monsters.. and stuck with them.
        Why? Because I wanted to help them, I liked the darkness.. I wanted to conquer them for the light. It just doesn’t work that way. I’ve learned that everyone has their own path and darkness comes and goes from that path. I try very hard to never tell anyone what they “should do” which as an Astrologer is very difficult- It’s what most clients want to hear.

        You are pretty rockin sir, thanks for continuing to post. I can say from all of your posts I have not found anything I disagreed with. Not saying that I need to agree with everyone. Quite the opposite. I love new angles. I just mean you speak light from a good place.. so keep keeping it real brother & Much love.

        *What part of the country are you in? Just curious* -C

  101. I appreciate the compliment, my dad tried force feeding me every skill i would need so all my success comes from him(Scorpio sun, thank god cause my Scorpio moon would kill me if not for him). 40 miles from Raleigh, NC. Right in the middle of the mountains and ocean(2 hour drive both ways), both are lovely, but I prefer the peaceful mountains to the raging ocean.

  102. Thank you Jonathan and Christina, you guys gave me great inside, I just wanted to add that I did give him details about the break up after I dropped the news in a casual way, I was having issues waaaaay before I met him but cancer guy had a way to show me there was more to life than what I was living. And everything happened how it was supposed on my end, nothing to do with Cancer guy he just made me feel alive and that moment i knew i was heading the wrong direction with my fiance. I just wanted him to know I was available. Now, he always asks about my whereabouts, etc is like what do you want??? Now he doesn’t even talk about sex anymore its just weird. I can walk away, although is going to sting big time because this man has stolen a piece of my heart. I still tell him how much I like him etc but I guess is not good enough anymore. SAD PISCESGIRL :'(

    • Stop professing your love for him please. If you haven’t read some post between myself, miss curious, and thewayitis, crabs are not ok with falling in love that fast. I’m not sure that a causal way was the best approach because it is a serious matter for us. When you have some information like that that is that serious, for me, you have to come straight at me, become serious and make all the facts clear with no room for misunderstanding. When someone does that for me, there are no issues, they had the ability to explain a serious issue with great thought put into it and I respect that more than I care about the issue. If you had lied to me regardless of the pure and honest intentions, doesn’t matter if it was by omission, it would turn me off. He is still talking to you, and is not talking about sex. I would take that as a sign you did something right, like I said stop saying you love him and try doing soemthing with him that leaves no room for interruptions, going out for drinks doesn’t work cause we have to put on our rising mask(his acsendent sign) and depending on his, it might go against what he wants as a cancer sun. Get to know him better as a human and let him get to know you better as a human. The next time he asks where are you, or how you are doing, make him work to find out. In response to the 2nd one, be like meet me here and find out? Something that peeks his curiousity, keep it light and enjoy just being with him, he will pick up on this and want to trust you more and more. Just make sure to be honest with him regardless of the way things turn out. It would be better not to burn the bridge if you can help it. Good luck.

      • Just an update. I have personally cut all communication with my cancer “friend”I felt it was too much for me to handel all of this hot and cold in and out kind of thing. I am hurting but ill get thru it. I didn’t tell him he is being cut off. I just deleted the app that was used as our form of communication. Eventually he will figure it out. And I hope he figures himself out. Although my initial thread sounded like if I wanted him just to play or gurt him it wasn’t. I truly like this guy but I kove me more and yea I may be in his eyes a bit intense but my intentions ARE pure but I guess he will never know. I’m walking away for my own sake, I’m sure he will find and so will I another person more fit for each other :’(

  103. does a cancer man get attached to a woman who likes him,does that mean even he likes back or he is simply curious about her?what signs does he show when he likes the woman

  104. Hi Guys

    I met this cancer guy online and i was just so attracted to him. We started chatting and i called him and we had a lovely chat. We haven’t met yet but strangely enough i actualy like him alot. I told him about my feelings for him and i would like to get to know him much more. He didn’t respond at first so the next day i apologised for being so forward for telling him but i felt i had to get it out of my sytem. So anyway, he replied to me 5min later telling me this was too much for him and it wouldn’t work. He’s single for a reason at the moment. I replied saying ” Honesty appreciated and take care”

    Was i wrong for being so honest and will he ever chat to me again? Cancerians????

  105. To PiscesGirl i feel for you girl. Take it as a lesson and it just not meant to be. The pain will ebb eventually take one day at a time.

    Havent been here in a long while and I’d say I love how the exchange went from different angles and point of views. I am still with my cancer man and yes I do agree with some here that when its good its good and bad it can become worst but i think its all on you and how mature you are in handling that kind of phase. I am a scorpio by the way and believe me there are days that its just downright whats wrong now?? but then I realize when I look at him that his reactions are based upon my feelings of the moment. When I am planning somethings the doubt starts to sit in before I finish my first sentence. Believe me my love for this man is so deep I can literally write a whole book on how I hate the moods and love the swings at the same time. As I am also a walkng time bomb with emotions myself I do appreciate that I have found a cancer man or he has found me either way he just knows how to not pester me when I am in the mode of emotion same with him I just leave him alone. I think it all applies to all men that when they have their moments you give them the respect they deserve.

    All relationships have up’s and down’s. Jonathan hit the nail on when a cancer is broken hearted instead of showing how painful it is he will show you a stone face. Take it literally I’ve seen it when I blew a fuse since I realized he was playing his tricks on me, I am though smarter and dumber sometimes and we broke up. I was crying all over the whole month and I saw him in facebook all his pictures ready to kill people.

    Bottomline, to all the girls that have their hearts broken, lets be realistic despite the zodiac of the man. If you both are really just meant to be together no matter how you guys fight and broken up with you both will get back together. And if you both didnt work out it means that their is someone out there meant for you and he is meant for someone too. You just dont have to settle and mix sex at first few dates so you guys dont mess it all up with the hype. I mean learn to control those urges so you can keep your mind sane.

    Cheers to you guys

  106. Cancer men can be hurtful but I will tell you in my experience it’s because they feel they must protect themsleves as well as you. We just broke up and he was being a little mean and finally I just said look if you think being mean to me will help me get over you better, it won’t. Just speak to me from your heart and not your head and just tell me the truth.. He opened up and told me things I never realized. I think it is still over between us but I feel much better. And no, he just didn’t tell me what I wanted to hear. This cancer man NEVERs opens up about his feelings. His normal thing to do it just say something a little hurtful then clam up and never talk. just ignore me… But I will tell you in order to get a cancer man to open up like that it has taken me over a year and a lot of sweat and tears. One thing for sure. I believe 100% if a cancer man loves you, he really loves you. If they ever tell you that they love you or even that you are in their heart, believe them. I think it’s real. In our case it was just bad timing..

    • Its just crazy how they act, hot cold in out side up down, I’m going bananas here, I hear you when you say that they don’t open up and he once did and I believe he means what he says but its just too much for my pisces heart it hurts. Once my he figured out I had wrased the app he found another way to communicate with, thru TEXT!!!!!! WTFFF oh and one cold phone call, he doea better on text than talking sooooo weird!!!!! He told me he doesn’t want to end it and he wants me etc but I hate it feels just physical, he ia not ahowing much emotions these days AT ALL. Our conversations even thru text are so cold I feel like crying and I just get mad then he just goes away until the storm passes according to him but it only makes me even more mad. He sells me out for lunches, he is just being messy I like him want him I’m falling for him but I have to draw the line somewhere. My heart is in agony. I saw him today and I didn’t even look at him but I felt him staring at me I just can’t look into his eyes, I think I would just grab him and kiss him and beg him but I won’t EVER do that!!!! My dignity is at stake and I rather cry at home alone than to let him know how much he is hurting me. He knows it but I don’t want to show more.I just miss him and I wish everything was how it used to. Light, funny, flirty, sweet.

      • …are you still interested in trying to make it work or do you want to end it? You have to make up your mind….

      • I want to make it work every time I push him away he comes back stronger and is like I’m an addict of thisman ONE look from him and I’m done!!!!! I don’t know what to do. Likebi said the whole hot and cold in and out its driving me to the wall. But the pain is consuming my life. I can’t work, sleep, eat, think. I don’t know what he feels or wants. I know he wants sex but no relationship, yet he just asks a lot of questions reports to me, gave me his travel itinerary and contact number in case of emergency. … I mean what is he going to do miles away if I have an emergency???? I feel is another way of controlling me, I like it but if he is doing this as a game its pretty messed up. I feel lost, I don’t get it. Then he told that when he gets back from his vacay we will go for a long lunch and then back to work. I told him that if it was to have sex I would go but I would not keep in touch afterward. He gets mad every time I say this he says he will never let me go. YET he doesn’t want a relationship and I refuse to be a booty call.

  107. I prefer to remain anonymous…..but I would appreciate feedback from anyone, especially a cancer male.

    We meet whilst away at an event. This crazy because I have never liked a guy instantly, but this time was very different. I felt an instant friendship between us. When we returned I heard nothing for the first week. I made the first contact and he explained he was very busy ( he had mentioned he was a workaholic) . When he did make contact a couple of days later, we had a pleasant conversation for over an hour, which surprised me. From then on intermittently, approximately every couple of days we would talk or go cinema or send messages. He would not confirm what the situation was between us, but would state he was happy to see how it develops.

    Recently we only talk if I initiate it, being a Gemini, it’s not in my nature to chase guys and I now feel as though I’m giving up hope on this being anything more. I’m in a stage in my life where I would like to settle down, rather than play games.

    I’m unsure if I should even bother anymore and why do cancer men make something so simple so difficult. I understand nit wanting to get hurt, but it’s an emotion you can not avoid. Everyone has to go through it.

    I look forward to your response and thank you in advance x

    • I have enjoyed reading everyone stories. I have taken on some very handy tips and experiences. I would really appreciate some feedback as I am still currently in a similar situation with this cancer guy.

      Only recently I asked him to meet me for a drink so we could chat. He got annoyed because I would not tell him the details of the eventful conversation on the phone when he requested. The reason why I did not was only because I really wanted to sit and speak face to face. A couple of days later he contacted me so we could meet, but I had left my phone at home and went for drinks after work, which resulted in me getting home late. I called him back instantly and I experienced the sulk…a stroppy more sterner cancer man, who was snappy and direct. He was annoyed, demanding me to tell him what the chat was about as he had attempted to meet me. The conversation got ugly and I expected him to end the call on a few occasions, but he didn’t n would just go silent. I tried to change the mood n make the conversation lighter, but he had no interest and so I asked him if he would prefer I go, which he replied to do whatever I felt I should do. I explained I didn’t want this situation to end this way and kept pointing out where he felt I went wrong and I could sense he expected a apology. I am not above apologising but I can’t when I don’t see where or how I went wrong. So I ended the conversation after asking him if he wanted me to come and see him and he declining. I told him I was sorry it had to end this way n hoped one day we could be friends.

      10 minutes later he sent me a text saying, come n see me……

      We met and he was much more relaxed. We were able to squash the argument and the affection was back, the teasing and the hand kissing (which I love). I left him that night and it has been 2 days and I have heard nothing. I called today and he normally calls me back, but he hasn’t as yet.

      I’m thinking I should stop this situation. As I have said before, I’m in a place where I would like to settle down and I really don’t feel this cancer man’s intentions are pure and genuine.

      Please, please help..x

  108. Stop having sex with him. You can’t have sex with him anymore unless you two spend a minimum of 3 hours together to do something. You need to act like you want a real relationship with him, not keep resisting and then giving in to what HE wants. There’s a saying in the movie “Legion” I like, a main character says “you gave him what he asked for, I gave him what he needed”. Don’t give him what he wants, give him what he needs and you will gain some access to his heart. Don’t let him just ask all the questions, do like for every 2 questions he gets, you get one? Might not want to tell him and just do it.

    • Also, the relationship has been defined by your attraction to each other that manifested in the form of intercourse. He is distancing himself because like me and christy said earlier, you dropped your fiancé for him after knowing him for the amount of time I would be annoyed at some jack wagon on the road being stupid. This would make him more cautious than I can say. In this case you have to be firm and patient, once he sees that you are trustworthy for him to give his hearts you you he will. We like to dig into your past, your feelings, everything about you, and we like making you pull the information out of us.. In our mind, if you want to know about it, you gotta ask. If he keeps on being hesitant about reveling himself, like I said, no sex still. He needs to be spending time with you as much as he says he wants to be with you…

    • Jonathan the thing is that we have never had sex. So this coming long lunch it would be our first time. Like I said I will not be a booty call, so mayve he just acts like this because like any man, they want what they cannot have and in this case sex. So I’m afraid that if we have sex he will continue using me for it. So I rather not have sex with him. I want to go to this long lunch thing but a part of me tells me not to. Its easier without the sex. IMO

      • That explains why he wants you so bad then, man I’m glad I know myself better than I though. Ok, the next thing to do then is just get use to being with him. Imagine you meet someone who is fun, and you forget everything and just focus on the fun… That’s what you need to do with him. Stop worrying about if you guys work out… It will happen or it won’t. Being impatient about it will do you no good. Go spend the long lunch with him, but you pick him up, and you go someplace quiet to eat with low lighting and privacy and tell him that if he wants to so this type of relationship…. Quality time is what you want to make a regular occurrence. Keep things varied. And remember, if you want to be with anyone, it takes time and dedication and the same goes for him. Nothing good ever comes easy. The good stuff is always hard to get to, just like a rose has its thorns. Although you can’t commit the taboo of taking and not giving. Maybe not now for sex. But if you withold it for to long, he will go somewhere else… I don’t want to tell you what to do, I’m not god and I don’t like playing the puppet master with the people. There are certain points you need to hit perfectly with this guy and everyone is unique. From the sound of things, he is a cautious and careful cancer, nothing wrong with that. Just work on creating some sort of equilibrium in the relationship.

  109. I think we are with the same man! LOL. No but really both your guy and mine are very much alike. Mine is much better at texting than face to face and then I am lucky if I get more than a couple of words at a time. I have to “pull” his words from him. When I pull away he comes on stronger then once he gets me back he pulls back again. Sex is great on time then the next I feel like a blowup doll to him. Then the next time he will do something to make me feel special. To be honest if you can’t handle it now I would end it before you fall even more for him. It will not get any better. I have been with mine over a year and we have some circustances that your relationship doesn’t but from what I am reading from you and so many others they all handle things the same way. Like Jonathan said dont’ give into his behavior. YOU make him treat you like you want to be treated or at least meet you half way. In a solid relationship it is give and take. For some reason most Cancer men are all about the “take”. It has to be their way. Mine told me he was seflish, has always been and will always be and things had to be his way. Well it is true… And believe me they are extremely hard to get over. Mine is in my thoughts 25/7. He is the one thing that is on my mind ALL THE FREAKING time. We just broke up for good last week. He finally told me (in a text) that he did care about me, etc. As I said we have circumstances much different than yours but the way they react is the same. Their eyes will tell you how they really feel but their actions tell you something different. That is how they protect themselves. But don’t give into their eyes! He needs to prove to you he cares and get out of his confort zone. If not it is HIS LOSS. I will tell you they do risk loosing you and will let it happen if for some reason the timing is not right for them. They are their own worse emenies.. And YOU can not do anything about it no matter how hard you try…
    You really need to decide if you want to be in this same situtation 5 years from now. He is not going to change, well maybe a few changes here and there but he may always revert back to how he is now. You CAN NOT change him. That is who he is…
    Good luck and don’t be like me and let your heart rule your head.
    Note: Don’t get me wrong, they are not bad men. It’s just who they are and just like we are who we are.

  110. Jonathan is right. If you have not had sex yet then why rush? DO NOT fall for this guy quickly. It’s easy to do with the cancer guys for some reason. Tell him what you want out of this and take it at his speed. Also like Jonathan said don’t hold out too long on him or he will take that as rejection and that you do not want him. You have to be careful don’t rush but don’t go too slow either. feel him out and see what happens. Just do not be clingy… Give him space and don’t call/text him every day. Let him come to you sometimes…. Listen to Jonathan. He helped me so much…..Good luck!!!

    • Sueellen2 I’ve told him I want to get to know him and I don’t want us to be sex buddies, he said he didn’t want a relationship but he wants me in his life, yet sometimes he acts boyfriend like, some other times he doesn’t give a rat. He once said that when we mwt it felt like something that happens in the movies, intense, geoundbreaking, he went head in then one day he was absent minded to the fullest, he comes and goes emotionally. Now he is AS COLD AS ICE yet he expects me to wait happy for him to go have sex. I told him that once we have sex I don’t ever want to see him again because I want more than that. He refuses, he says that because things can’t be right now it doesn’t mean they will never be. He said I don’t have to sit and wait for him yet if a fly passes by me he goes on hulk mode. I have giving him space but then he says I’m being cold and he likes me warm and fuzzy, when I’m warm and fuzzy he is withdrawn. He told me once he had a 6 year relationship with his hs sweetheart, that he did things backwards and now he wants to live life and not have a relationship because he gets to invested and he forgets the world. I said ok, call me when you are in a bettwr mind state to deal with US, he turned into the hulk again, so I’m in a trap no escape, I know I can escape, yet the thought of actually making this into something makes me stay. I have faith and hope, and a few bumps and bruises in my heart but I feel alive when I’m with him, I forget my own name, place, time, nothing matters when we are together, so ita like a movie kind of thing with a crappy ending.

      • Hmmm, the hs sweetheart of 6 years is what’s really going on. He is stuck on the failure of that… At such a young age, to be so emotional he probably did get lost and forget the world with her. He is breaking away from you because he doesn’t want to get lost and forget the world.. It’s a compliment in a way. He is saying, if I don’t be this cold I will fall in love with you and go off into LALA Land. I still don’t know if you should have sex with him, it’s probably 60:40 no:yes. Try seeing if you can get him drunk, if you haven’t seen him drunk you need to. It’s difficult to say why..but the stuff he says and things he does are important information. And when someone emotionally stimulating like yourself is near him, man, I think he would go off to lala land right there. Thing is, that’s like a final plan that either turns out 100% good, or 100% bad. And there is no recovering from the bad because it will have been a concious change in himself that he might never reverse, it’s up to him. If your nearing your end, get him drunk. Sip water throughout the drinking and you won’t get the hangover and it will give you a little more control of yourself during the drunk part.

  111. I forgot something very important. Read everything you can find on Cancer men before you get too involved. You already know how he can turn off and on so quickly. You need to make up your mind NOW before you get too involved and get your heart tore completely apart. He will play games with you to try and figure out if you are for him. Be careful.. Just read…..

    • Jonathan the thing is that the lunch is actually a sex date, is far from what you are proposing, see, in my world your advice works perfectly and is something I would do but this long lunch is a sex date. And there is where the problem comes I’m torn, I want to but then I feel that this thing we have will be defined by sex. Or its just like man thing, they don’t buy the cow till they try the milk. So i have mixed feelings, one side of me says yes god please lets do it already but the other side tells me don’t do it because this will be over. I want him with all of me but I don’t want to be the girl that he slept with, I want to be in his life a little while longer but the other thing is that I feel he is slipping away and I want to experience him before he is gone. Like Sueellen2 suggested I read extensively about cancer men and it seems that if they put you on the sex bud zone you’ll never get out. It sats its easy for cancer men to sleep with a woman they feel very strong for yet they walk away without flinching. And I want more, and you are right,, enjoying the moment its nice and having fun too but do you understand why I’m so confused? I know every man is different and we could if it to death and only until I experience sex or heartache or I juat simply walk away I would never know, but the what ifs are stopping me from all of the above. I want to take him to a nice place like you suggested and talk get him to relax etc but this man its hard to break, I mean hard. I am very sassy and outgoing, talkative playful, discrete, perceptive, I don’t whine, it helps that I’m easy on the eyes, I’m the blonde with big boobs and slim figure and he loves my smile, my eyes etc so I have no problem with men, I attract them easily but is this one man I can’t pin down and its killing me, it is my biggest challange YET.

  112. Believe me I know EXACTLY how you feel about him. It’s been over a year for me and I can just hear his voice and the whole world is gone except for him.. I’ve never had a man to affect me like he has. How long have you been with him and what are your age differeneces?

  113. Ok, now it’s time to slow down and gain control of your feelings for him. And it’s not ok for him not to want a relationship and that he just wants you. I’m curious, how long do a pair of your brand new shoes last 100% clean meaning no damage besides a little dirt which comes off? I’m lucky if they last a week and don’t get a nice stain. Point is, he views you kinda possesively as a want which means he uses you for what he wants and nothing else. That’s not allowed at all because it leads no where for either of you. Once you establish a relationship you can talk with him seriously but until then stop talking to him. Ignore all messages from him and tell him he needs to treat you like you treat a partner in life or gtfo.

    • I will follow this advice for sure. If he goes bunkers ill let him rut on his own dirty shoes lol lol until he comes to his senses. It is flattering I’m the object of his desire but the damage could be greater if I play his game. Guys thank you so much for all of your comments, I find myself more relaxed being able to get all of thia out of my chest. I will keep you updated as to what happens so we can crack the code lol lol fingets crossed ;-)

  114. Mine is 31 and I am in my 40’s. ( he likes older women and I never was interested in younger men until him) Only you can decide when you want to sleep with him. But I will tell you that most men will not wait. He may take it as rejection so just be very clear, honest and weigh your words carefully and explain to him why. For example: “Jon, I really like you and want to have sex with you but I can’t have just a sexual relationship. That kind of relationship goes against who I am. Plus it will cause problems because I will want even more and you are not willing to do that right now. When or if you are ever ready to start developing a real relationship then call me.” Then DO NOT contact him again. I know this is extremely hard. ( we just broke up and I am still going to my phone to see if he has texted me or I start to text him and then don’t) But honey you can not change him.. It just will not happen. If he wants you he will be willing to meet you at those terms. But be aware he may say yes and a month later go back the way it was. Call him on it and walk away… Mine was wonderful for 2 months after he told me he wanted to try. Then one day it was back to the same old him.. So be aware…

  115. Really good post, Sueellen. I really enjoyed reading it. Isn’t there a saying though? That says; love can wait, but… lust never can? I heard that saying long ago, and loved it, because I feel it is so true. That that is what love is like, and then what lust is like. Lust is like; right now! And love has all the patience in the world… and then some. I love LOVE. :^) Love ROCKS. :^)
    I think when you love someone, love can wait. And if you can’t wait, it’s because it’s not love? LOVE is always patient? Lust is not? And love is always kind. Just my thoughts on it.

  116. I agree with Jonathan! It was so funny to read but so true. I never thought of that. I know my guy said he becomes Chatty Cathy when he drinks but I have never been around him when he has drank.
    Miss Curious, Thank you. That is why I have decided that I love my Cancer man enough to let him go if that is truely what he wants. He wants me but there are things in our lives that prevent it. So he has to choose and his choice wasn’t me. I fully understand why but that doesn’t help my heart from breaking. We have been together over a year and I still get those butterflies in my stomach when I hear his voice or see him.. My feelings only deepened…

    • From a forum i skimmed while looking for people who did get their cancer drunk:
      “From girl to girl, this is what I’ve learned. Even though at the moment he expresses it, he more than likely truly does feel it, never take what he says and run with it. Because it’s not a real state of being. When a person is intoxicated, that person is a different person. I mean, every guy I’ve been with told me he loved me when he was drunk. But when he’s sober, he remembers all the reasons why he’s afraid to be with me. So, we as women have to fight the urge to believe all that we NEED to hear about being needed by a man when he’s drunk. If he can say it sober, then take it in and base all your decisions off what he says and does then. Not while he’s intoxicated, it’s not who he is normally.”
      While I agree with this to an extent, we don’t do the 5th sentence with people we don’t like. And unless I really do LOVE you, I doubt I would tell the girl I love her when I’m drunk. I might talk to her a lot, laugh and have a good time, but that doesn’t mean I love her but it does mean I like her. It means that in reality, there is some fear that I have keeping me from going the distance with her. It depends on the crab for the type of fear it could be. In general though its 3 categories, a fear inside of us about us that applies to everyone, a fear about some presumed or confirmed characteristic of your life we don’t like…or a random fear select to the crab. In this case, your crab has his hs sweetheart as the random, combined with his fear that he won’t be able to not fall in love with you if he spends more time than he already has, 2 out of the three right there and you also had that thing with your fiancé which could be a 3 for 3. I recall you said he was all in the 1st week, then backed off and around that time he learned about the ex fiancé…I think this, instead of manifesting a fear in you, added to his random fear. So it’s 2/3 for fears. The good thing is that he said he enjoys it when you are warm. That means he likes the feel of being with you naturally. After writing all this, I feel like I’ve already provided enough reason to end it without even intending to go that direction. The more I think about it, the more time you spend time with him right now is not good. It’s only letting him get use to treating you the way he is. You need to be with him when he has his mind on you and not the world. Tell him your not the girl he thinks you are and by comparing you to his hs sweetheart, he is only setting himself up for failure by focusing on it. What is life without love?

      • Wow I love you replies!!!! So empowering. And they make so much sense. I will take it one step at a time, I will go thru the sex date I made up my mind I want to do it and I’ve been known for having a strong will power which I pray to got to reinforce it once I’m thru with the date, then I will cut communication and I make myself totally unavailable. That part is easy no questions about it. I won’t do the drunk thing is not my style I believe in being sober and in total control of onea feeling at the time of speaking, I’m a skeptic by nature so I second guess everyone’s word whether sober or drunk so the drunk thing won’t work for me I like consciousness at the time of having a conversation, now, if we were dating and we get drunk and have fun and say a few extra words then it may be somewhat acceptable, but now thar I’m walking on eggshells I don’t feel is the right thing to do. Despite of wanting to hear him say something profound I don’t see why I wpuld put myself thru that. Its not honest its inhibition what’s lost when you drink but the aftermath it is mostly full of regrets and awkwardness, so no drunk games for me. I will FTSOH and will go my marry way. Is going to be hard, but I will make it thru. Watch. My next update will be a more positive one, and I thank you guys for all of the advices. Xoxox

      • When I say his mind is not in the right place, I mean it. Having sex with him in this frame of mind is not good. It’s better to keep yourself as sort of a mystery right now. Then when he gets his crap straight, soon hopefully, you resume. I still would advise you to wait another month even after he came back to have sex. Thats to make sure his heart is in because if it isn’t, he won’t be able to be with you as he would if he really loved you. The boyfriend feeling you would see from him would need to be on 24/7. Just my two cents. Good luck!

      • Jonathan, I have dissected every single word you have said and I have analysed his behaviour and his heart is there, but he acts scared, today we went out to lunch and he just couldn’t sit still, then he sat next to me, he qould blush every other word, his heart was a thousand miles an hour, he was shaky, he told me I should meet his mom, I’m not sure if he needs her to give him the ok with me or what, but I’m up for it, tonight we are having dinner at his house, I don’t know but it seems he has talked about me with her I’m nervous I don’t know what to expect. He seems more into it than ever, I am a bit confused but excited, mind you I can’t eat when I’m nervous lol, I picked a very nice dress, summery with a spring sweater very classy, peep toe shoes and I had a glass of wine to calm my nerves lol, he talked about a trip that by coincidence we are taking together, we planned it our separate ways and disnt know about each other plans but now it seems we are going together, he booked a couple of excursions for US alone and its sort of shocking his turn around but I’m in, I don’t want to question him I’m skeptical but I’m in!!! I pray to god every night that of this is for me to make it right, I don’t know if answers are here or this could be my lesson for being stubborn. I’m telling you this is awesome but a bit scary. So what does all this mean??? Lol I know you don’t have a crystal ball or anything but your words seem to be coming from a very wise place ao I’m interested on your opinion on this developments.

      • Ok, I was hoping this would happen. We really don’t like girls who give in to sex easily, or to better say it, girls who don’t put out for just anybody. It means you want depth, nothing shallow and physical… We act like that to see how you react. So while it seemed bad on your end, he was quite happy on his… So much so that he even talked with his mother about you… Don’t try to force it. With this man, he doesn’t bring just anybody home to mom, there is a good chance you will hit it off naturally. If not….I just won’t go there. This is the next test. It means that he must not be that worried about his fears and wants you more than he fears his past… Still keep your wits about you, but recognize this as BIG. Idk about you, but I would be inclined to know how many women come home to mama… If he has done this before etc. Be fun, have fun. And save the rest for later.

  117. I agree if he tells you he loves you drunk don’t pay any attention to that but he may open up enough for you to see where his mind actually is. Who knows. But for some reason, not sure it it’s just Cancer men, men in general or what but IMO, Cancer men have a extremely hard time letting go of negative things that happen in their pasts. They are ruled by their emotions so this is bound to happen. I just have a feeling if the “right” one comes along they will work hard to keep that person. If not, then they really don’t want you to begin with other than just a friend and or sex partner. Unless they have other circumstances that might keep them from loving you like they want such as a wife, children, etc.
    IF you tell him what you need from him and then walk away, he will either meet you half way or stay out of your life. If you can not get rid of him and he still wants to play games then just shut off all communication. Block his number, whatever to keep your sanity…..

  118. One other thing. They will stay in your head and heart so stay strong. I am missing mine something terrible today. My stomach is upset and the tears are in my eyes but he made his decision. I told him every thing I wanted to tell him and gave him every reason to not me go. So there is nothing left to say. Yes, I do believe he cares a lot and maybe even loves me too but just wrong timing.

  119. Do what you feel is right but if you want him don’t just walk away and cut all communication. He will view this as rejection. Just wait a few days and if he doesn’t contact you just text him and say something like I had a good time the other night ( if you did,, hee hee) and hope to talk to you soon….. You have to let him know you are interested but don’t cling or let him have his way. Good Luck!!!

    • Sueellen this man knows I am super interested lol but he needs reassurance and so do I. I will see what he does next maybe we don’t like each other in bed or maybe we will have no need to cut ties because he may have something up his sleeve that day till then all I can do is marinade the thoughts and brace for impact because I’m going in full force hahahahaha…. lust is a powerfull feeling ill tell you lol

  120. Yes, Lust is a powerfull feeling but temporary. Love is a much stronger feeling that will last a lifetime. Remember the difference and you will be fine. Read what Miss Curious said about love and lust above. Enjoy and have fun!!! ;-)

  121. Dear Christina Ren,

    I just want to thank for all your wonderful insight on Cancer men. I’ve been reading a lot of posts about Cancer men and Pisces women because I currently have a Pisces crush, and everything I’ve read is making me want to kill myself, figuratively of course. The hate for Cancer men is quite high on most blogs. I understand we can be very complicated, and require more patience and understanding than a lot of other signs, but we aren’t all the scum of the earth like many seem to think!

    Now about my Pisces crush! We met online and she lives about 3 hours away. It was instant attracting and we seem to get along quite well. We both have big hearts and kinky sexual interests. The problem is, we live a ways away from each other and I made a promise to myself that I wouldn’t do the long distance thing again. I really like this girl a lot and can’t wait to meet her in person, however, I have to pull my head out of the clouds and be realistic. We have a few major differences in our views and I can tell she is more outgoing than I am. So I’m trying to take it slow and keep and open mind, but it’s hard because… well, you know how we Cancerians get when we have a crush! We have expressed to each other how attracted we are to each other and how amazing the sex would be. I want her bad, and I also really like her, but who knows how we’ll feel when we actually meet. I’m trying to stay grounded.

    I am terrified of leading her on and I would never want to hurt her. But I worry that this lust we have for each other would be too much resist in person. I guess I’m trying to say, I like her a lot, but the distance thing is a problem for me in a serious relationship. And I want to blow her mind, if you know what I mean, without leading her on or hurting her. Any advice? We are planning to meet soon.

    Thanks in advance!

    P.S. I did see a comment you made about Pisces and Cancer not being the best match, Could you elaborate on that?

  122. Hello, just been looking at this site and I think the description of a cancer man is so true. my name is Linda and im 41 and i’m separated. I have known this guy for 5 months now he is also a cancer and he is 44, he has been divorced twice and is currently single.. he has had a few dates since his last divorce which was over a year ago, he said that they were untrue… his name is Michael but everyone calls him Mick, apart from me, he insists I call him Michael.. I really like him but he is taking things so slowly.. we text everyday, he texts me first every morning, and then we chat all day. I only see him once a week for an hour and nothing happens.. we’ve kissed but that’s about it.. I ask him are we ever going to be more than friends, and he says he hopes so but he takes things slowly and is in no rush to ruin them.. and that he wants to be sure.. He always adds kisses at the end of his texts and I noticed that every time he misses me the number of kisses goes up.. so now we on 5 kisses at the end of every text. Am I wasting my time here?

    • I think not, honestly. We really need to spend quality time with you for a good period of time before we are sure your someone we can live with forever and grow with. This is key, compatibility may be strong now, but later on things could become an issue and the constant pile on would eventually overwhelm you both. Basically it means we have no faith in ourselves or your own emotions and decisions and where they may take you. That’s why time is important. It makes things a little strange but as long as you can still be into each other after an indefinite period of time only he knows then you should find yourself on a good foot. You have to work in every relationship all the time so if you can push aside your insecurity and feed his a little bit than he will be there forever(provided your still working at the relationship). We are easy to read if you are looking closely, you just have to pay attention to everything we say and twist it so if he talks about other guys who talk to you about being boyfriends, it means we are thinking about filling in the spot.

      Sent from my iPhone

  123. Wow that was bad grammar. We want someone who looks inside first, then outside… Or looks outside, stops and looks inside. So we in turn, pretend like we want a physical only relationship to see if you bite. If you so, it’s over we don’t go any further. But by rejecting it, you tell us you want what’s on the inside. And that your willing to wait to make sure it works out. I can’t tell you how much of a turn on that is.. We thrive on security, and by doing that you make us feel secure. Don’t over think it, enjoy it, and maybe have sex later, cause it seems you cured his fear of the fiancé thing, and the past is the past and he wants you for the future.

    • Oh Jonathan you really think so???? I sure hope so!!!! Dinner was awesome last night uis mom is a lovely lady, strong character but very sweet, she is a Pisces like me!!!! I kept it classy and I felt very comfortable, he was very welcoming and open, we couldn’t keep our eyes off of each other, there were moments we got so lost into each others eyes we lost track of the conversation and everyone noticed but he didn’t seem to mind it. He talked about plans for the long weekend and the trip and his parents talked about their plans and asked me if I would be interested in joining and I said yes, I mean is like if they had been expecting me for a long time. I found out he had only brought one girl home, the one he lived with and was with for 6 years, so I guess he doesn’t make it a habit to bring them all home to his parents. They were very interested on knowing about my life which I shared some stuff but not everything, I mean is like he doesn’t have the guts to ask questions yet his parents do the interview!!! I didn’t take it to the heart though. If these cancers are as complicated as you say I just go with the flow as long as my integrity remains intact lol. I guess we are moving forward somewhat, I’m very excited yet skeptical but Im keeping an open mind ;-)

  124. I am so very jealous and so very happy for you!!! I think you are on the right track and this guy is EXTREMELY into you and wants a relationship!! Good luck!!

    • Awe Music don’t be jealous! !!! Trust me its been a hell of ride and I know it’s not over yet. What’s your story? Share ;-) Jonathan can help you lol he is GOOD!!!!! ;-)

    • Sueellen!!!! I thought you were gone! Glad to see you again. Look at my last post its not a happy day so I think the happiness was short lived lol. I will never tell him this is my space to vent which I really appreciate all of your replies and inside in this matter ;-)

  125. My god, after all that, if that was fake… Worst family ever. I better be right, or the above is the only other option. Cause beyond that he isn’t a cancer man then… From the behavior he is displaying and the signs, you must be rocking his inner world hard. Hmm, the parents asking questions is probably a natural reaction after his experience with the last girl. They want to make sure he is with someone who will not let him go through that again. Although that does bring up some questions I have about his astro chart. I want to know how much Scorpio he has that gives him the ability to manipulate. On the dark side(gotta do it, sry) he could have used his parents to get that information out of you. Although I DOUBT it, it still has a statistical chance. His ex would have had to shatter the way he thinks and then it reformed into some sort of warped bs. Again I doubt this so much that I feel typing it is pointless. I do want you to take a couple steps forward in your relationship with him because under good/normal(?) circumstances, that was a big deal and sign he really sees himself with you for life…

    • You are so uplifting!!!! since I joined this forum I feel better and you have been awesome, so much inside from a cancer man this is amazing. Truly my repects to you ;-) I will continue following your advice and will take a few steps forward, however my wall is still up I am bracing for impact but I feel I can do this ;-) FOR LIFE???? This is a big deal, I love it. I can’t wait for all of our plans to become real and make new ones ;-) I couldn’t be more excited!!!!!

  126. Glad I could help! And you should keep your wall up. I would actually keep a little bit of it up forever if I were you. Just be ready to knock some holes into it. :) Have fun!

    • Well so much for a good time!!! Today was a horrible day, he has been distant and dry I tried talking to him and he just brushed me off, I was in the cafeteria at work and he saw me and literally opened the door and left again, I didn’t text him wanting ro give him his space to sort whatever it is he is going thru, so later in the afternoon he sent me a message saying we are not seeing each other today for your information, I said, that’s fine is everything ok? He replied everything is great I just don’t want to see you today. I’m like wooohhhh wtffffff???? Jekyll and Hyde came out to play or am I going crazy!!!??? Last night everything was dandee today a total mess. :'( is this normal am I dealing with a psychopath here??? On the other hand his mom called me I have no clue how she got my number, well I do have a clue, to confirm this weekend plans, I didn’t mention he was acting up, I confirmed the plans, but honestly is it even healthy for me to even spend 3 days with this man acting like this? Is this a phase? I am CONFUSED

      • Ugh, it seems he felt you should have taken the step a little sooner than you may have been planning. I fear that if you don’t take a step, or the initiative on the matter, he might feel used to an extent. Like the parents said, your number 2. For some people, number 2 happens at 16,17,18 years old. In some aspects, we are children when it comes to love…

        Sent from my iPhone

  127. piscesgirl, This is Sueellen, I am music24557. not sure why that came up instead of sueellen but whatever. So as you see I am jealous and happy for you at the same time. Just never, ever tell him you came to this site for help. He will not understand. Please keep us posted.

  128. WELCOME to the world of you CANCER MAN… Yes this is how it will continue to be in my experience. I went thru it for over a year. We would meet and have a great time. The next day he would be just like your man and be cold and distant. He would say sorry that is just the way I am and it’s not your fault.. Then in a few days he would be back normal. It’s a rollercoaster ride that never ends. Either you get on it and hold on or you get off and just ride it when you feel like it or you go home never to ride it again. Sorry but that is the truth with this kind of cancer man.

    • This is some crazy s…t ill tell you!!! I’m like wow who has the hormones here?? lol lol I’m not even that moody to be a Pisces god help me!!! Ill see how this evolves but somethings gotta give, my god I’m in shock and disbelief, floored and seriously confused lol Im just going to continue my day and see what happens, I’m used to a different kind of relationship were if you are upset we talk about it but here I’m not sure what’s going on honestly, I feel I’m in six flags and for what you guys tell me this is nothing compared to how they are. Well, one day at a time. I mean if I were to be this crazy lunatic he would call me a psycho b…h what do I name him??? Lol and I think that if I ask him again he would get mad or something, you should of seen him practically running away from me I didn’t chase him we were at work!!!! But I felt like crying lol some craziness happening I don’t get it lol

  129. LOL I am a Gemini and mine has more personalities than I do!! I have def. came out of my comfort zone for mine and he has taught me a lot on how to handle him but is it worth it? I don’t know. As I said he broke up with me for reasons I am not willing to explain on here. If he were to call me today and want back in my life? I guess you can say I am a glutin for punishment and I would go back but I would tell him what I want out of it. ( by the way: I have told him that 100 times and he will do it for a couple of months then go back to his old ways). Is it worth it? Only you can answer that just know you can not change him. sorry..

    • I don’t want to change him I just want to understand him, I’m very flexible go with the flow, I don’t give a s…t kind of person, to me is like ok, oh well, whatever but this man is under my skiiiiinnn like a flea lol lol, but my pride is in action if he doesn’t call I don’t call he doesn’t text I don’t text he doesn’t wanna see me well, goodnight. Two can play the game specially now that i feel he is more into US , so obviously this is who he is then ill take it as it comes, I won’t lose myself for a man, i will respect him and honor our live till the end but I will continue with my life, my friends, family, no need to stop life on its tracks and cross my arms and wait for the phone to ring so I can go have a life no ma’am, not me. He may get mad because I’m not home sitting waiting for him and Eventually he will understand this as well as I will understand him in some way. I’m not saying I’m going to look for trouble I’m saying that I will remain monogamous but I will not be part of his sit and wait kind of game. He wants to hang out great!!! Lets do this, he doesn’t want to oh well, let me find something to do or juat don’t do anything vut I won’t let his behaviour affect me. What am I saying I’m a sucker for that sucker ill probably sit and wait!!!! Ugh this is detrimental!!!!!!

  130. This is exactly how they are. I’ve been dealing with a Cancer Man for a year. Just when I think things are done with us.. He comes back 10x stronger for a very short lived amount of time and then becomes distant and cold again. And then it repeats all over again.

    • My dad is a cancer and he is the most difficult men I’ve ever met!!!! He is adorable though but maaannnn is he fidgety!!!!! Also I saw my dad do things I didn’t agree with, he was a big time cheater, until last year he had another woman in some other country, he loves women, sex , porn, drinks, socializing, he is very good looking not because he is my father but he is a handsome man. And In the back of my mind is the fact that if he as a cancer man which has the same bday as my beau, was able to do those things all up until last year what’s in it for me with this cancer man?? My stepm is a libra and my mom a gemini. Libra has taken him very well she is still there after 28 years despite of all the craziness and cheating but I don’t have that kind of blood. Kudos to her lol. My mom took off, she couldn’t handle it, they are all very good friends today and we spend summers and weekends togethet but I don’t really know what goes thru my parents mind and hearts.

    • haha! Totally agree Sueellen! I’ve been with my Cancer for five years and it was a long year and a half of back and forth before that.. Once it was official it was because I gave up!! Learn to let go, that’s how to win a Crab!

      • Let go??? Is in good bye no more!?!?!? Is in don’t call me talk to me ignore him kind of thing??? I gues I could do it, but you are going to witness the biggest whimper on heart!!! Lol lol

      • I completely agree with you on this Christina, only when you have fully put down your hands and walk away then they will stop with their sidestepping things and make up their mind.

  131. LOL You will wait for him. You sound like me. I was the woman you described until I met him. Now I am the one who runs to my cell phone every time it goes off. Watching for him at work. If I even hear a voice that sounds any where near his my ears perk up. I have not spoken to him since last Thursday nor seen him for two weeks until today. He came up behind me at work and said hello. I had to ask him about a work related thing and I was puddy….

    • Oh Sueellen you are almost in the same situation with a hottie you work with!!!!! Is it nerve wracking when you wake up and get dress and think oh is he going to like thiseor this lol well that’s me lol. And I pass by his office like nothing and he peaks his head out and says hi don’t you look lovely today missy! !!!!!! and I DIEEEEEE everytime lol lol best feeling ever yet worse feeling ever, I’ve found myself dropping coffe because he strudels me, forgetting papers just to go back, I’ve gotten better lol I have work to do you know but is fun except today ugh!!!! No bueno :-(

  132. Its a break or make it with cancer man. You will find out though if he is for the long haul or not and will save you a lot of years of whimpering and crying.

  133. A step?? What do you mean?? I’ve been patiently waiting and giving him space taking charge following his lead, backing off, coming around, I mean is a tug and pull kind of thing, but ok I can step it up a notch, this weekend ill show him what’s good I mean we are spending 3 days together no escape, quality time, 72 hours of pure US time. And obviously 3 nights together one room no space 1 bed!!!!!!! I’m freaking out lol

    • I said you would need to move a few steps forward in the relationship, he let you meet his family. My dad, the Scorpio, didn’t tell our family he was dating anyone until 7 months when it slipped out by mistake. You have known him as a potential partner for a couple months. This is surprisingly fast if I do say so as a cancer man. He probably feels he showed to much and when you didn’t show what he wanted to see to kinda balance it(?), he got mad and is now on the defensive. Don’t let him go into the weekend mad or feeling like he is the only one who is at risk in the relationship. Try to talk and maybe drop a few hints about something you guys could do possibly do this weekend. Don’t come across like your trying to get his parents approval more than his. It’s possible he might feel like that, I know one who only talks at a distance with someone he had interests in who then became a friend of the family which complicated the relationship. Tell him some more about yourself that he doesn’t know. Or spend quality time and make memories with him. Telling him about yourself is the better of the 2.

  134. If it were me at this stage of the game, I would give him mind blowing sex but let it go at his pace so not to scare him off. And tell him what you like and don’t like. They are a little reserved in the bedroom at first. They really want to know what you like but are scared to ask. They are like all men and like it all so don’t worry about that. hee hee.
    Then at the end of the weekend, tell him you had an awsome time ( if you did) and you will talk to him this week. Let him come to you and if he is stand offish, it’s just him absorbing the weekend. Send him a text about Thursday and say you were thinking about him and hope to maybe see this this weekend. But just be aware he may act worse after this weekend. They are ruled by their freaking emotions and his mind will be going 100000000 MPH. So it’s not you but him so don’t take it personally. Enjoy and be yourself.

  135. Am I right Johnathan or wrong? :)

    Okay, I got it. Cancers want love. They want a strong foundation of love. They want to find out if that strong foundation of love is there or not – to base a long term relationship on… ‘forever’. They want a women who is in it for the long haul – of ‘love’. Love is patient, love is kind, love is there for you – when you need it. They want a partner they can depend on, to be there for them ‘always’. A strong relationship of ‘partnership’. A relationship that is founded on a ROCK. A solid rock foundation relationship of solid LOVE. And if they are not sure a relationship will be like this, they get nervous, antsy? Because, they already know what they want? But only wish to find it? Scared they might not find it? They are an overly sensitive sign? So this type of relationship matters to them very much? They put their whole life and soul on this — in wanting this — in feeling they need this type of relationship. Because they are a very sensitive soul and need a strong foundation of love to base their relationship on. Something that won’t crumble later on. They want a sensitive feeling women too? Someone who gives her whole heart to him with much love, and he to her too? A relationship based on pure love – straight from the heart. Love first and all else second. Most importantly is ‘love’. Has to be love first – in being # 1. A solid strong love foundation of a relationship. She’s got to be in it for the long haul. A relationship of friendship and mutual understanding between one another. Late night movies together of sandwiches for snacks. Lol. No, I’m serious. :) Of building a real life together. A real home together, the two of you – and maybe a family of children someday too, maybe, if the time feels right for that. ;) And she really loves her home and loves fixing her home up real nice to be warm and homey and making nice home cooked meals and greeting him with a kiss and hug when he gets home from work. Just being there for him always and him being there for her always. A partnership built on a strong foundation of LOVE. Am I right? Or not?

    • Yes, just don’t forget you might come home and find us in the kitchen cooking. 19 and I can cook just about anything. My dad had me making a dinner once a week from 16 up. And he is a great cook himself. Point is we like to cook too… It’s also surprising cause all my friends like coming to my place because it has a better feel and environment. Cancer can surprise you with the home they have made.

      Sent from my iPhone

  136. I had a male cancer come over once, just a friend, and as soon as he entered the door, he looked around and said in such awe; “you have a beautiful home.” And you could feel it off of him, that he really meant it. So it seems to be true what they say about cancer. They love the home? Home is very important to them? It’s their safety, because of being overly sensitive? They need a safe haven/refuge? It was the way he said it, in such awe – of such feeling and warmth… and depth. I think it’s true, cancer seem to be all emotion. Which can be very beautiful when expressed positively.

    I loved to cook too, when I was young. I cooked for my family too. :) I love it that men cook, it’s really nice. My dad was a great cook. He sure could make a fantastic stir fry! How he got the fresh ginger to taste so flavourful like that, I’ll never know. Even my cousin who was a chef, couldn’t get over my dad’s cooking, and my dad never went to cooking school either. Self-taught. :) My dad is Virgo. My mom was an excellent cook too. I considered them gourmet cooks. She is a Gemini. :) They cooked everything from scratch. My dad even used whole fresh tomatoes for his incredible chilli. :) He’d have it simmer all day long… but it sure was worth the wait! Just delicious! Words can’t describe. :) And my mom, she could make the most fantastic homemade spaghetti with homemade bread sticks. I’m getting hungry just thinking about it…. :)

  137. Miss Curious, (when I say cancer men I realize not all are the same but based on what I have read most are alike) I read your reply about 1am this morning when I could not sleep and have read it several times since and I don’t get what you are trying to say. Don’t we all want what you say cancer’s want? We all have in our minds and hearts what kind of person we want to spend out lives with. And even the first date we sort of size them up and if there isn’t a chemistry on that first date we rarely go on the 2nd. We all want that love to last a lifetime and to build a family with . But do most of us after a wonderful date or whatever stop talking to them, ignoring them, etc. without an explaination and make them feel they did something wrong? Then in a few days or it might even take us just walking away ending the relationship they come back even stronger only to do it all over again to us? NO most of us don’t but cancer men do.

    I have been with mine over a year and that is how he has always been. I finally realize it’s not my fault but I also find myself wondering did I say or do anything that upset him? They have a way of making us feel like we have done something then we start walking on egg shells and not being ourselves. When you are invoved with a cancer male you tend to change your personality to adapt to theirs. Sometimes that is a good thing because mind has def. taught me patience, and to be a little more understanding. But it can also be a bad thing. I tend to doubt myself, spend a lot of time on what I want to say and how to say it so not to offend, careful not to tell him to go to hell when he is acting so childish and imature because I know that would damage our relationship beyound repair. It took him over a year to tell me his true feelings. Cancer men are like a sore arm. It can hurt like crap, but you love it, need it, and have become extremely attached to it. So you keep it and hope the hurt will go away knowing that hurt will come back one day but you enjoy it while it doesn’t.

    Also, what about cheating ( don’t want your personal thoughts on this but thoughts as how cancer men are) do cancer men normally cheat? (pretend this cancer male is like what all these women on this page is saying about them. This cancer male is not the exception) I know anyone can cheat but we are just speaking about cancer men right now. I know some cancer men do cheat. OK, if they cheat then they did not search for that “perfect woman” they had been searching for. So do they cheat just short term normally or long term? If long term, say a year or two, what does that mean? I don’t want to hear because the mistress is giving him sex and the wife isn’t, etc. Because cancer men are so sensitive and so family orientated how in the world could they ever have a long term relationship with another woman?

    To me you painted a picture of what a cancer male wants and it’s very pretty but how they try to get it, is very ugly at times.

  138. Sueellen, I just read your post, just now. I wrote this last night, of what I just posted here, but didn’t know if I should send it or not, so I wrote a different one instead, that Jonathan replied to. But, I decided to post this, in what I wrote last night. I will reply to what you said later, okay? Hope you have a great day! Take care! :)

    Sueellen, to what you wrote, (your August 30, 2013 at 4:38 pm, post) lol. Too cute. :) Gosh, it sure seems complicated dating a cancer. :) My god, I wouldn’t go through all that myself, lol. But that’s just me. ;) Holy cow. Piscesgirl, you seem so strong. I was thinking as I was reading the posts; “just be yourself!!!” Then I saw Sueellen wrote that when I came to her post. Yeah, I agree Sueellen! If it was me, I’d just be myself and either we connected or didn’t. But no, I would never put up with all that. I would expect chocolates and flowers and him being a total gentlemen before he’d ever win me over. :) So I guess a cancer man is a different breed? I wouldn’t put up with that, I’d be gone already. :) I’d want a man to be a total gentleman of being very loving and really loving ME and admiring me as much as I am admiring him! If I am the only one doing the admiring… then, no thank you. I’d be gone. I’d want two way love, not one way. That would be boring. :) I’d want a man speaking kindly and lovingly, going for walks in nature together, having romantic dinner together, romantic music playing in the background, beautiful scented flowers on the table, watching a movie afterwards, etc. Just kindness and good conversation and good laughs. I wouldn’t take anything less than 100% kindness… or I’d move on. If you have fallen for him Piscesgirl, it’s a different matter, I’m sure. You sure sound strong though. Just don’t know if I could fall for someone like that. I fall for kindness. :) Love is always kind. That’s what I’m into, which I’m sure we all are. :) I was so happy to read though, that you were going out with him. I was hoping it was going to be good and be ‘love’. I’m sure you were too. :)

    Maybe just be yourself? And get him to fall in love with YOU? Of your true self of all that you are? And if he likes you he does and if he doesn’t, move on? If he’s not totally into you, find someone who is? Don’t ever settle for second best? It should be a guy who is completely into you. Think’s you’re the bee’s knees!

    The thing is, it seems like he really likes you. A lot. It does. It just seems he has issues. :) Maybe those are then cancer issues? Lol. But yeah, seems like he really likes you yet acts differently. Guess that’s a cancer trait? I wouldn’t know, never dated a cancer before. I dated Aries and Gemini, and had other boyfriends but not long term, so I don’t even know what sign they were. Lol. I only had 2 long-term serious relationships in my life. Me, I’m Aquarius. Sounds like you are going to have to grab the bull by its horns on this one. Lol. That’s what I’d do if I was into him! Lol. Maybe cancer men wouldn’t be into me, I need a guy to chase me, not me chasing him! :)

    You did great though Piscesgirl. You really did! I don’t think I could do that, in what you did. I need a guy to be all over me and all into me – before I’ll even go out with him! Lol. He has to make the move and ask me out to dinner, exploring nature together, being romantic, loving, before I’d even budge. He’d have to be right into me, of a real true connection, fate. And I’d have to be right into him too. I’m into love. Love is kindness. I’m into kindness and patience. I’m sure most of us are. :) You could teach him Piscesgirl. :) You sound like such a beautiful person. I really mean that. You sound so strong and so beautiful. And Pisces, I find they are the most beautiful souls on the zodiac. Don’t think anyone could not like a Pisces. :) I can see what he saw in you. I guess cancers are really shy in getting going with a girl? Maybe once they are in there, then it’s smooth sailing? But… guess not, from what I was reading from the posts. Lol.

    Maybe just be very loving to him? As you are already doing and then continue to see how he acts? Just be yourself, be very loving and gentle and patient and kind and keep talking to him. Ask him how he is, how his day is and ask him what he likes and what his interests are. What he likes to do. Does he like nature, health food? Sorry, that’s what I would ask him as those are my interests. :) Show you are interested in HIM – by asking him questions. So, I’d see if he has the same interests as me. And if not, I’d move on. Piscesgirl, you sound so beautiful and strong and smart. You would have no problem having men falling for you and all over you and wishing to take you out on a date and buying you flowers, having dinner together in romancing you. But, don’t except anything less in life, then what you want from a relationship. Love yourself, fall in love with You first!!! Then you won’t settle for anything less than a gentlemen – who is right into you and who is very kind and loving and patient! A good man. A ‘gentle-man’. :)

  139. It is so hard to explain why we fall in love with these cancer men. I wish I only knew. It’s just something about them. I met mine over two years ago and all we did was speak and smile. I told my girlfriend I had just met the man of my dreams. I had not idea he would ever be interested in me. At that time I thought I was only a little older than he was (turns out he just looks older and is much, much younger but he doesn’t care). A year later, sent him an email, work related and we started talking. He remembered that day and said I blew him away. We started a relationship and it has been a rollercoaster ride the entire time. But I can’t get him out of my soul. We are over right now and not sure if we will get together this time. As Jonathan has told me since he finally opened up to me and told me how he really feels as well as other issues we face, he may not come back this time. It is breaking my heart even after the way he has treated me as in ignoring me, etc. I still find myself in love with him. I have always been a strong person and would have walked right out of a relationship like this and never looked back but for some reason this man had gotten to me. No it is not the challenge of getting him. Not at all. The game got old months ago. It’s just they get in your heart…
    I look forward to hearing your reply from my previous message.

    • I think women fall for the cancer man, as he is very emotional, and very sensitive. He is very ‘feeling’. Women can relate to that – and those are very lovely qualities to have. I also believe maybe a sensitive man can also be a very deep man? As I am also a very sensitive person and I also go very deep. So, it may seem very easy to feel a real connection with a man who is very sensitive and feeling. Especially if you are too. So that is very attractive to find in a man. Someone who is so sensitive and ‘feeling’. Because a lot of women can say that men have no feelings, no emotions. So they may really appreciate a cancer man because of this. Such as a Gemini man are known to be a very un-emotional sign. Such as Aquarius are too, and it is true. I am Aquarius and I am not a very emotional sign. I am sensitive I am very feeling but I am not an overly emotional person. Never have been. And age does not matter when it comes to love. Look at Tony Randal the actor from the TV show the Odd Couple, he was actually 75 when he married his 25 year old bride. And she said they were both so passionately in love till the day he died. They fell in love. So yes, age does not matter when it comes to love. But yes, most people wish a relationship with a person of their same age. But, it does not always happen that way, when two people fall in love, in really loving one another in being a really good match. Which can be called; soul mates. Finding your soul mate, is what many people feel they have found in such a compatible relationship. I knew a man who told me he is married to his soul mate. That it is such a beautiful, wonderful relationship. And at the time I think he was married for over 15 years, and still so very happy. You could tell, he was so happy as a person. So that is usually called a ‘soul mate’ to find that perfect match in another – where you can actually be yourself 100%, with your partner. Where he loves you for ‘YOU’ in all that you are. And does not wish you to be someone you are not. He wishes you to be YOU 100%, because that is who he loves.

      It just sounds like you fell in love with him, Sueellen. And then it’s a matter of getting over him and moving on. And sometimes that takes meeting someone else, in order to do that. To meet someone who is more compatible with you and someone that you will then fall in love with again. In moving on. I know it can be hard to try to get over someone whom you fell in love with. I found it hard too when I was in love with my first love. In how I did it was; in contacting him again and then finding closure for myself by doing so. He was now married and ‘happily’ married, so that was enough for me, to finally let him go. And I must be honest with you, I was over him. I still felt I was in love with him before contacting him. But knowing he was in a happy marriage with a women he loved, was all it took for me to move on. You see, I didn’t know his situation before I contacted him if he was even in a relationship. I didn’t know if he was maybe single as I was. But it turned out he was not. So when I found out that he was in a happy marriage, then that was all it took for me to finally release him from my heart. And no, I do not think of him ever. I don’t. I am no longer in love with him. I do believe life is but a choice, of you actually making the decision to no longer be in love with him. I’m not kidding. I was in love with him mostly my whole life. And I didn’t even realize it, till I had contact with him at times.

      So it is possible to move on and no longer be in love with someone. To totally get over them where they are no longer on your mind or in your heart at all. It is ‘you’ – that is still holding him in your heart. You are choosing to. You have to do your own thing – in how to get over him. How would you be able to get over this person? What would it entail to be able to do so? Would it be seeing him in another relationship, that he loves someone else and is in a happy relationship now? Or is married? Or is engaged to be married? Or; maybe asking him, if he loves you? Is he in love with you? You see, it’s up to us. No one can do this but us – in creating our lives to be what they will be, or in finding closure with someone we feel we are still in love with. It’s to choose to let him go, and to move on. In realizing you can fall in love again. And even more so and even more greatly then you did him. You may not believe you can at the time and maybe even believe it’s not possible, until you do meet someone else. And maybe this time Sueellen it will be a wonderful, amazing match of a ‘soul mate’ where he actually loves you for being YOU. Where it may be such an amazing relationship of you being so happy. But until you are able to let this other man go, you will not be able to meet that perfect match for you – which is called a ‘soul mate’. That so many people say they have and are so happy with – and say that it is such a marvelous, wonderful relationship. It’s meeting someone who loves you for YOU. And you love them for them, in who they are. Without having to try to be someone you aren’t, in order to make them happy. It’s a good match, in other words. And you can find that, Sueellen. I believe we all can. Instead of being with a man, who wants you to be someone else, in order for him to be happy in life.

      Would that maybe not be enough to find closure with him and move on? That He wants you to be someone else in order for him to be happy? In order for him to be able to ‘love’ you? You have to be someone you are not, in order for that to happen? Maybe that right there is enough to know – to move on – to find that special, wonderful, loving, kind, patient man who is a soul mate – and maybe for life too, of loving you for YOU Sueellen? Instead of a relationship that really isn’t real at all, of him wishing you to be someone you are not? Maybe then that would be enough to know to move on? Find that man, Sueellen, who loves YOU, and not someone you aren’t? You deserve it, you really do. We are all so unique and special in the way we are – and all deserve that special wonderful person, who loves us for all that we are. And it’s to find that special man Sueellen who is kind, patient and understanding. Right? And he is out there. He is. You just have to find him and I’m sure you will, just like all the other thousands of people who say they have found them too – in finding what is called their ‘soul mate’. And you can find your soul mate too, Sueellen. I know, it’s not easy getting over someone. It’s not easy for anyone. I think mostly all of us have been there. We have. We can related to how you are feeling. I was in the same boat. I thought it was a miracle that I was no longer in love with my first love, anymore. I did it. I moved on. I got over him. I let him go. I have no thoughts of him, he is no longer in my heart.

      Do you know why I made the decision to no longer have him living in my heart and soul, in how it felt? Because I felt if I was to be in another relationship, it would be so unfair to my next partner, to not give him all of my heart – 100%, where another man still has some of my heart. And that is why I made a very conscious decision to make contact with this man I was still in love with, and finally find complete 100% closure with him. And I did. I found out he moved on, Sueellen. Thus I had to move on, too. If this man has moved on Sueellen, then you need to move on too, if he has already himself. Why hold yourself to a man, where he is not holding himself to you? Why have this man in your heart and soul…. When you are not in his heart and soul, Sueellen? Right? So when this man – whom I was so head-over-heels in love with still, told me he was happily married and loved his wife, that was enough to no longer have him living in my heart. From there I chose to let him go. And I have. Now I have 100% of my heart, to give to a man who would be my next partner. And he would deserve it, just as I would deserve all of his heart, 100% as well. And thus, I did got over him and ‘chose’ to move on as he moved on in his life as well in being married. And you can do it too. But, it’s a choice. Life is but a choice. You have to ‘choose’ to let him go from your heart. ‘You’ have to do it. No one can do that for you. And when you feel the time is right, you as well can do it. If you want to, that is. You have freewill, it is your life of what you wish your life to be. You alone create your life to be what it will be.

      I wish you all the best, Sueellen. And if you wish to have another relationship, I wish it to be everything that you ever wished for – and dreamed of. Maybe a patient, kind and very loving and understanding man? Who doesn’t want you to be someone else, because… he loves… YOU? :) In all that you are. Right? Just the way you are? :) I think that’s what most of us would only wish for, in our lives. To have someone who loves ‘US’. And does not love someone we are not? I believe there is a soul mate for everyone one of us, Sueellen. I really do. That we can all meet that perfect partner for us, of what is called a ‘soul mate’. Because I believe soul mates are real and that they do exist. I believe there are so many happy people who found their soul mate, and are living so happily, because of it. It’s a happy-ever-after type relationship, of someone to really love in life, of a partner. Who loves you for YOU and you love him for HIM. :) I wish you all the best! And much love!!! Take care. :)

  140. Hi Sueellen,

    It’s because, I believe a cancer is overly sensitive, so they really need a strong foundation of ‘LOVE’ – to base their relationship on. Because in being so sensitive, they need to feel that security, that safety of a very safe haven/refuge. They are very sensitive, and thus why I feel women can easily fall so hard for them. Me being Aquarius, we are known to be very sensitive ourselves, and I am. I have been told I was very sensitive my whole life. Because, I was. :) It is true. So maybe I can then identify with a cancer for this reason, in what it is like to be so sensitive. Also, I believe I have always been a very deep person. I only felt I could identify with only a few people because of this, of them being very deep and deep thinkers as well. And those were my best friends. One was a Pisces and another was a Leo. So this is why I think it is. Best to get a take on this, from Jonathan. So because they are so sensitive, overly sensitive actually – in what they are suppose to be like, they then need that safety of a strong Rock foundation of love. To build their relationship on a strong foundation of a Rock, which is what love is. And not to build it on anything less such as building their relationship on sand, that would then later crumble and fall. Such as say for example, trying to actually build a relationship on sex. It wouldn’t be a strong foundation as love is. Because love is kind and patient. Lust of course are neither of these things. Lust crumbles, it’s only based on sex, and sex is not love, of course. Sex is sex, and love is love. So love is a rock and never crumbles. It always stands strong so that is what a cancer would be looking for in being so very sensitive.

    From what you said, “But do most of us after a wonderful date or whatever stop talking to them, ignoring them, etc. without an explanation and make them feel they did something wrong? Then in a few days or it might even take us just walking away ending the relationship they come back even stronger only to do it all over again to us? NO most of us don’t but cancer men do.”

    ….. Sueellen when they do that, maybe it’s just not meant to be? If a guy did this to me, I would have no reason to see him again. Why would I? If this is certainly not what I am looking for in a partner/relationship? If you feel you are walking on eggshells, then it’s just not meant to be. It’s not a good match, Sueellen – and I would move on to finding one that is. There are so many wonderful men out there, it’s just to find one. To find one who is gentle, and kind, and loving and who you feel very compatible with. A real gentlemen (a gentle man). Then that wasn’t the man for you Sueellen who makes you happy. He obviously doesn’t make you happy. It’s to find one who does. There is a saying and it is very true; ‘there are many fish in the sea.’ Find one Sueellen who makes you happy. Who wants what you want AND treats you well. That is key right there. Does he treat you well Sueellen? And if you can answer; ‘no’ – then he is not the one for you. Keep looking, he is out there, you have just not found him yet, is all. Mostly because you have your thoughts on this one man still and aren’t available for another man to come into your life. Your mind is still on this one man.

    If you feel you are changing your personality to be with him, then no, he does not sound like the right partner for you. Because you should be able to be yourself with a right partner. That is what having the right partner is. It’s to be able to be yourself with them and they to be themselves with you as well. If you can’t be yourself, who are you going to be? :) An actress? That would be one very unfulfilling life, because you would be spending it acting – in being someone you are not. So you would be living a life of not even being there. Just being someone that he wants you to be. And right there, it is very plain to see, you aren’t a match. He would need someone else – who he wants you to be. Instead, find that man who likes you, for who all that you are and does not wish you to be someone you are not. Someone who loves you for you, for who you are. So that’s what it’s about, finding a partner who loves you for who you are as a person. And not having to try to be someone else to please him. Then he would need to find someone else then and you as well.

    Sueellen if he isn’t treating you well, then that says it all right there. It’s all about; how is he treating you? If he is not treating you the way you wish, then it may be a matter of moving on and finding someone who does treat you the way you wish? As I said before, love is kind and love is patient. So then find a man who knows what love is and acts in love always of kindness and patients and if he doesn’t treat you well, then find that special man out there who does. But you can’t find him if you don’t wish to let go of this one man to find someone else – who is very kind and who treats you very well. It’s to find love. Love being kindness and patience.

    If it’s like a sore arm, then that sore arm is not well and needs healing. It’s ill? And then you have to do what you must to make it well, right? Such as go to a doctor and see what the problem is. Some people see couple councilors, or some people realize that they are not a match and move on to find someone who is. But if it’s like a sore arm, you wish to live with an arm that does not hurt, right? You wish to fix the arm, if it is hurting. And if you can’t fix the hurt, then maybe it’s time to move on? Find someone who is not like a sore arm, but an arm that does not hurt at all. Love does not hurt, it really doesn’t. And a relationship is based on love and not lust. It’s not based on sex, it’s based on love. You are together because of love, not because of sex. So if you feel there is not love there (patience and kindness) then find a relationship that there is love. Which love is kindness and patience. Lust is not patience and kindness because lust is not love. Sex is not love. Sex is something that partners do though who love each other, and that is called making love – as opposed to just having sex? There is nothing wrong with sex, sex can be very beautiful and wonderful when two people love each other. And thus, they ‘make love’ when they have sex. So in other words, it’s to have the whole relationship based on love, and not lust. And I do believe a cancer who is very sensitive would be looking for this. As most people are. But most cancers being very sensitive and thus really looking for a relationship based on love and not lust?

    I can give you my personal thoughts on cheating. If I was with a man and he cheated, it would be over. No looking back for me. Because I believe that bond we had together would be broken by him being with another women. As I believe in one relationship at a time. So if he wished to be with another women when being with me, then I would see it’s very obvious that he is not happy with me. Because otherwise he wouldn’t have slept with another women if he was happy in the relationship with me. He wouldn’t be feeling fulfilled with me if he felt he needed to be with another women. There is such a oneness being together – of an emotional oneness that you share together being partners. I was in 2 long term relationships. One was 10 years and the other 15. And my partner never cheated on me nor I them. I pretty well know they didn’t as they told me but also because we were always together. And you can tell because you feel connected, and women also have great intuition for these things. Now if we grew apart emotionally then yes, I could see a man cheating on a women. But if you are connected to one another emotionally, either of you would not wish to do this. For the simple reason you are happy in the relationship. You are fulfilled and love one another and thus wish to remain faithful and loyal. Because you are happy in the relationship. I do believe it’s when a partner is not happy – that they would be unfaithful. Looking for that happiness elsewhere? So this is why I would then see the relationship being over, if he was not happy being with me to then actually go and be with another women and be intimate with her. Then he should be with her then, or find the women he would be happy with – if he is no longer happy with me.

    Sueellen I do know cancer men. And one I know has been in a marriage for many years and seems very happy. He says it and also shows it. So he is very happy in his long term relationship. So it is possible for cancers to find a partner they are very happy with. And he also believe in loyalty and faithfulness. So yes, some cancer men do not cheat. It’s because they are happy, you see? They are happy in their relationship so they have no desire to be unfaithful because of it. They feel they have found love. They found that partner that they are very happy being with. Usually people aren’t faithful because they are not happy in the relationship. And a lot of times the relationship comes to an end because of it. And then they find someone who does make them happy.

    Sueellen it’s a matter of finding the right partner. And if you do not, don’t stop there and think there is no one for you because your last relationship didn’t work. There are plenty of fish in the sea. Myself, I really believe in loving yourself. To love yourself first before anyone can love you – and you love someone as well. So it’s a matter of loving YOU first, before a man will wish to love you – and you to love him. So love yourself first, and then you will find that man who is perfect for you to have a really lovely relationship with, that is based on love and not on sex?

    You see, I do believe men want love just as much as women do. Maybe men might seem to have a real desire for sex in that being built into them to procreate? And maybe for a women it’s built in her more to prepare a nest for having children? But even so, with the man, I do believe he wants love just as much as women do too. He wants to base his relationship on love, not sex. In then making love – as opposed to just having sex. So I don’t believe men are any different in this way of wanting love then women are. We all do. We all want love. Sex is nice and all of that, but sex is not love. So base the relationship on love, not sex. Make sex come second, not first. As love is more important than the sex, as love is what the foundation of your relationship is. Certainly not sex. You have your foundation of love, then you add the sex. Not the other way around. Love is what everyone is looking for, and wants. Not necessarily just the sex. For men and for women, sex can be easy to find. So it’s love that people are looking for and want. Without love, what do you have? Nothing. Right?

    That is why myself personally I do not have sex until there is first the foundation of love. Meaning; I love this man and this man loves me. Then I add the sex which is then making love and not just having sex. Maybe it’s knowing what love is? And then wanting it in knowing what you want? It’s also knowing how to love yourself to know what love is to then love another? So it’s to start in loving YOU. Learning how to love you first, before finding that special partner for you, to love? So if you first Master loving yourself, then you are ready to love another – of a relationship. Because then you will know what love is and know what you want, in wanting love.

    But no Sueellen, cheating does not go with love. It really does not. If a man is unfaithful then no, I would not be with such a man. I never had an unfaithful man of the two relationships I was in. Nor did I ever feel a desire to be unfaithful in relationships. Never. As I was happy in them. I was happy with them, they were happy with me – and we were actually happy together. So no desire to be with someone else when we were fulfilling each other’s needs of what we wanted and needed in a relationship. We had kindness, love, patience and understanding – in thus being very happy. It was until we were wishing to go in different directions in our lives, that we chose to no longer be together.

    If a man was not treating me well, then no, I would have no desire to stay with him, because I wouldn’t have to, is why. I have freewill to live as I wish. I wouldn’t be happy, if he wasn’t treating me well or being the partner that I wished to have – in order to be happy. I think what the cancer man wants Sueellen, is LOVE. I really do. That’s what he is looking for. I can’t speak for all of course, but I believe that’s what most cancer men want and are looking for. We all want love. And also of course, a right match. If you felt you could not be YOU in your relationship Sueellen, then it may not have been a good match, is all. And to then find someone who loves you for YOU, Sueellen. Where you don’t have to try to be someone else that you aren’t in order to please him. Where you can be YOU. And how are we happy in life? In being able to be ourselves. And then to be able to be yourself completely 100% in a relationship, then that would then spell: Happiness. There are a lot of fish in the sea, Sueellen. It’s to find someone who loves you for YOU. In being able to be yourself in the relationship 100%. And he as well. In order to be in a happy relationship in meeting each other’s needs.

  141. Thank you for your replies. Tho I agree with most of what you say. I really think that cancer men are very insecure and super sensitive. Even tho my cancer man drove me crazy, I still and will always love him. I do not believe you ever stop loving someone you truely fell in love with. You may learn to deal with the loss and wish them well but you never forget nor stop loving. Do I believe he is in love with me yes I do.Is he my soulmate? I really think he is and he may even think I am his but we just can’t be together. Do I regret anything? absoutely not. Even though I am sick to my stomach, still cry every day and he is on my mind 24/7 I cherish every second we had even the bad times. Because I now understand why we had bad times. It’s just wrong timing. It has nothing to do with our age differences but life events. Cancer men are different, will drive you absolutely crazy and you will never fully understand them and not for every woman but my cancer man was the light of my life…… I have to move on with my life.I don’t have a choice. It will just take some time.

  142. Hi Sueellen.

    I love him, but I’m no longer in love with him. I love him now as a friend. I’m not going to spend the rest of my life being in love with a man, who gave his heart to someone else, and not being able to be with him. I chose to fall out of love with him and fall in love with a new man, if I so choose to. I made contact to take my heart back from him, actually. As I have a life to live too. I’m not dead yet. :) So contacting him and finding closure, had me take my heart back that I had gave him, and now if I find a new relationship, I have 100% of my heart to give to him. Because I really felt I gave him my heart in being so loyal and faithful as an Aquarian. So, that is done with and I have never felt so free in all my life. I had to take responsibility for myself, in other words, to live a wonderful, happy life! Without being held back by being in love with a man that I could never be with. I deserve to be in love with a man whom I can have in my life. I felt it was time for me to grow up, (in speaking only for myself) I guess. And I did. And I have never been so happy from this decision I made. It was not easy, while doing it, but… I feel so wonderful and happy with myself that I did it. Because I am so happy of feeling so free. I accomplished that. Because yes, I was so in love with this guy forever. But, in choosing to love myself, I chose to give myself a great life! And that was having the option of falling in love again – with a man I could be with. I made the right decision for me, anyways. :) I couldn’t be happier in my life today, because of it. Because he was really holding me back in my life. So much. A man too, that is married and happy and in love with someone else. So, I did good. :) I’m very pleased with myself that I was able to accomplish such a feat. I’m free! Never felt better! It was a big thing I did. I never thought I’d maybe ever get over him. And yes, I did.

    Yes, I agree with you. They are super sensitive. But you know, to an Aquarius, I love that. :) I really do, because I’m the same way. So that would be an asset for me if I ever loved a man who was a cancer. Many people can be insecure though, and not be cancer. I know of an Aries who was very insecure. I think cancer are very insecure because of being so sensitive. I was pretty insecure as a teenager. But I think we can all be insecure at times in our lives. I think I actually like that about cancer too. Only because I have been too and can still be at times of being in certain situations in life. So again, I guess I feel I can relate.

    Usually if someone is a soulmate, then you can be together? Because it is then a perfect match for one another. That is what a soulmate is. They get on beautifully together. But, he could be a karma mate, that many of us feel an exceptionally strong connection with and must balance this karma – in order to then have a soulmate relationship. I know my karmas whom I fell in love with (2 of them), were really strong connections. And thus how fate seems to bring you together to balance this karma. And usually done by forming a relationship with one another. One was a boyfriend and the other was a husband. So yes, karma is a very strong connection – which you can feel – of fate using, in bringing you together. In the eastern world it is taught more of karma – then it is in the west, of spirituality.

    I’m so sorry to hear that Sueellen, of feeling sick to your stomach and crying. Yeah, he ‘use’ to be on my mind 24/7 too. :) But… not anymore. :) I am free and so happy because of it – that words cannot describe! :) I didn’t like that, in other words. To be pining over a man, whom I can’t be with. That really wasn’t a good thing for me. So thus, I have a good thing now. :) I’m free. But yes, I love still love him as a friend, but I am no longer in love with him though. He has moved on, he has a women in his life. I guess now I would feel a ‘fool’ to be pining over a man who has moved on and has a women in his life, whom he loves. So, thus why I did what I did. It was time to move on. There are many fish in the sea…. Is why. :) When you are in love though, it doesn’t feel that way, I know. :) I have a life too though! And it is not to be spent pining over a man that I can’t have. And THAT is why I made the decision that I did. :) And am so happy for it, too. And my heart is now free and open to GIVE to a new relationship. I have 100% of my heart now, to give to a new relationship. Before choosing to find closure with this man, I did not. I felt… shackled and not free. Shackled by a man I was in love with, and could not have a relationship with. I deserve more than that, much more! And since I do love myself, I made sure I would have more! Because I was taking care of me – and watching out for my best interests in life. And today, I am very happy because of it. So happy. I have freed myself and no longer feel prisoned in being in love with someone I can’t be with. Or not being able to have another relationship either, in not feeling free from this man yet. And that would be a very selfish act to be in another relationship with a partner and yet I have given some of my heart to someone else, and not him 100%. And that is why I did it. I deserve a full wonderful life. And I do not believe you can have that, in being held back in your life, in still being in love with someone else. That would not be fair to any man. That would actually be very cruel to do to someone. And thus, why I did what I did.

    Yes, I agree with you Sueellen, cancer are different. I feel cancer are different in that they are a very feeling, emotional, sensitive sign. I had a relationship with a Gemini and they are the least emotional, feeling sign on the zodiac. Of this person I knew, anyways. So I feel cancer men are so refreshing, that I can’t put it in words. You can hear many women say; that they feel men are without feelings and without emotions. And then you have the cancer. So to me, I find the cancer such an extraordinary sign. Especially the men, because of this alone. I find they are a true treasure. And maybe why you fell for one as well because of this? A man with feelings and emotion? And such sensitivity? That is a real treasure, as far as I’m concerned. And probably why women seem to really fall for them. But at the same time, it has to be a love match. There has to be compatibility there even though you may feel you fall for one. And myself, I believe in ‘soul mates’. Being a perfect match for one another in getting along beautifully. Try to find all that in another sign on the zodiac, of a man. I don’t believe you can. Maybe the Pisces man, but still, I have known a few of them, and no, the ones I have known can’t even come close to a cancer of their sensitivity and feeling and emotion. That is why I feel they are a real gem, the cancer man. And thus I wanted to know more about this wonderful sign. I think maybe Sueellen that is why you love this cancer man too? But, I’m only assuming.

    Yes, in what you said near the bottom there. I had to move on with my life too. I realized this so strongly and thus why I did what I did – to get on with my life. To move on. That was the same conclusion I had come to as well. No one is responsible for ourselves but ourselves. So, I did something about it. I wasn’t happy in other words pining over this guy. I really wasn’t. I didn’t enjoy it. It didn’t make me happy. So today, yes, I am very happy. It’s over. It’s done with. I couldn’t be happier. Because now I am free and available for another relationship – if I choose one. I have nothing or no one holding me back, in other words, to live a very full and happy life. In being and feel so FREE. It’s a wonderful feeling, it really is. You feel no one is holding you down or holding you back – in being free to be all you wish to be in life. And all that you may wish to have, either. Such as maybe a new relationship… in time, when you feel ready to wish to have one. And giving your new relationship partner what he deserves. You’re full 100% heart, and attention and not only half of your heart, half of your attention – because someone else has it? :)

    Yes, it can take time to move on. You have to ready in your life to make certain decisions. I was ready to do what I did, so I did. Earlier, I wasn’t ready yet to let him go. So, all in its own time, in life. When you feel ready to do – what you feel is needed to do. Such as I did and am so happy in doing so. I still love him, I do. But it’s only as a friend now, though. He’s in another relationship! :) Even if he was free, I have grown so much in my life, and he has too, I’m sure. So… we would only have to start over again in getting to know one another. Because I have grown so much as a person, in who I am today. So we would have to see if we were compatible and if we were soulmate material or not.

    It was lovely chatting with you Sueellen. I thoroughly enjoyed it. :) Have a great night! I will too! :) I wish you all the best in your life. Sometimes we just need time to work things out for ourselves. I believe everything happens for a reason. I don’t believe in coincidences as even Freud said there are no accidents and Einstein saying there are no coincidences. I agree. I believe everything is for our growth as a person, too. It is what we needed to learn to be the person we wish to be. And it is so true for my own life. Because I am so happy today AND I learned to love myself. And when you do learn to do that, you then love all others. You do. Because, you love YOU. :) Take care!

    …..There is a saying though; “it is better to have loved, then to never have loved at all”. :) So true.

  143. Miss Curious, You are so correct. And in time I know I will feel the same way. I feel stupid in feeling this way and try so hard not to. I do try to do things to keep my mind occupied but I am a Gemini and that is hard for me to do.

    Yes, I do love him because he is so sensitive. I do believe once a Cancer man loves you he will always love you because they do take so long to decided if you are the right one for them. They take everything extremely slow and my being a Gemini was a hard lesson for me to learn. My man or should I now say former man is 97% as described as a Cancer man. My Cancer man is only 31 and is imature in some ways but more mature than I am in other ways. I as a Gemini woman may only be about 75% a true Gemini. As a female Gemini, I can be extremly sensitive and emotional at times if I allow myself to.

    And by your posts I have realizes how much like a Cancer I am. I can be very distant and climb in my shell at times. A few years back, I took care of my dying mother and worked a full time job 7 days a week and had a young son and husband. Then for 6 years I took care of my elderly, disabled father with the same job and family responsiblities. My father was totally dependant on me, so that included his financial obligations as well as his personal ones. My son was amost a man by that time so I was also in the middle of helping him learn how to manage his money, etc. Still working 7 days a week 8 hours a day with a two hour commute to and from work. I never broke down or anything. I never let it enter my mind so that way I could not “feel”. If I had I am sure I would have been severly depressed and overwhelmed. Earlier this year I had two severe operations of which one I almost lost my life. My surgeon came in and told me what he had to do to me to save my life and he had tears in his eyes, my family was crying.. Me? I just said let’s do it.. I did not let the thoughts enter my mind that I could die. I would not allow myself to feel those emotions. So at times Gemini’s are labeled as unemotional but like Cancers we just push those feelings aside so not to experience them. Is that healthy? I am not sure…. But after saying how “strong” I was during the past years of my life, this Cancer man has broken down all those guards I put up and I am like jello. I can not get a hold of my emotions to lock them away this time. And after all I have been thru in my life this is the one thing I can’t control. Why? I don’t know. Maybe because I have been thru so much this year I just can’t handle anything ele. Don’t get me wrong, I am not at the point of needing professional help. :-) It is getting better and will get much better in time.

    I do know I will be fine and I do know I have to let go. That is why I have stayed away from him as much as possible. We do work at the same place and at times have to deal with work related issues but not too often. I was doing much better until I saw him Thursday and had to talk to him on a work related matter. Seeing and talking with him brought back all those feelings and memories. It is so true not to get your money and honey in the same place. :-)

    Thank you for being so sweet and helpful. I have worked thu this with Jonathan’s help. He has been so great and I am so glad I found this site to help me deal. Have a great day and I wish you all the best also.

  144. You know, I felt the same way with this guy I was in love with. Like; jello. And, I didn’t like feeling like jello. :) I’m a strong person too. So, I chose to live being strong in being the person that I am; ‘strong’. I saw how ridiculous it was, in how I was feeling. So, I picked up the phone one day, contacted him and was about to BE… this strong, happy person again. :) I ‘talked’ with him.

    We deserve a man who loves us and wants only us. Who is kind, and understanding, loving. And loves us in who we are. And does not want us to be someone we are not. I can’t explain the feeling I had when I finally got over him. I felt I got my self-respect back as a person. I felt so whole as a person. I just smiled from the inside – out constantly 24/7. Lol. I felt I got my self-dignity back as a person! I felt… on top of the world! I felt; like ME again. I felt; I was really LOVING MYSELF by taking care of myself. Of ‘Me’ really watching out for my best interests in life. And that is what it means to love yourself. To love you and take care of you – when maybe no one else is? It’s no one else’s responsibility to love us or take care of us. It’s ours! So, I did that. I did what I was supposed to do as a responsible human being, which was; love myself! So there is no greater satisfaction in life, then to LOVE YOURSELF. It’s sublime. It’s subliminal bliss. :) It really is.

    So yeah, I hear yeah. Been there, done that. But I guess I found I was at a place in my life to be ready to make changes for myself to have that great wonderful life – that I wish to have and deserve. When you love yourself, you wish to give yourself the world! :) It’s true. When you love yourself, you don’t care that no one else does or chooses to. You are taking care of yourself, and such happiness comes out of it of a huge smile on your face all the time. :)

    You want a man who loves you. Right? Who is there for you? Not a man who is with another women, but who is with you! Loving You! Being kind to you, doing kind things and being so loving. That’s what we want in a relationship. We don’t want this nonsense of games, right? We want love. Right? And thank god, love is kind, and love is patience and love is understanding. And…. Love is loving! :) It really is. So if you got a guy and he is not, then say goodbye to him very nicely and kindly and find what you are looking for: LOVE. :) Which means you are sooo loving to your partner and he is sooo loving to you and you actually live this way in bliss. Right? Why put up with the nonsense of some guy who doesn’t even know how to love yet? Because… he didn’t learn how to love himself yet, right? You don’t have any time for that, you only have time for LOVE. :) Because love makes you Happy! :) Nonsense makes you unhappy. :) It’s to find love, to find a man who knows what love is, and how to love, because he finally learned how to love himself in his life!

    I don’t have a relationship right now, ‘cause I was just enjoying being single too too too much! Lol. Trust me, I was! I wasn’t ready yet, in other words. But when I am, sure I would love to have a very loving man in my life. To go shopping with and holding hands (I’m a girl who always held hands in a relationship with my partner, and I find men love to hold hands, but that’s just my experience!), and to hold and to hug and kiss. Yes, relationships can be very nice and special. But, I was taking time out for me, to do a lot more work on myself as a person – which mostly was to truly learn to fully love ME. And to actually explore many avenues which I felt was not available to me in my relationship, as I was busy with my relationship. And being single is great as you don’t feel selfish in exploring all these things that you alone wish to explore. So yes, life can be good!!! :) Very good! It is for me, very much so.

    But it was when I finally found the strength and I think it was the strength of self-dignity self-love, self-respect, self-worth that had me finally be who I am, which is strong, and happy. And to contact this man, to get my self-dignity back? Right? My self-worth as a human being? To have the type of love that I deserve? A man who loves me and is loving me? It was that I fell in love at 16, he was a first love. So it was a very innocent pure age back then. So now, yeah, I feel so WHOLE as a human being! I feel I got my self-dignity back. I really do. :) And there is nothing sweeter in the world than that. It is called: HAPPINESS! Lol. It is having sweet inner joy bubbling away inside of you 24/7. It really is. That’s what it means to finally learn to love yourself and continually love yourself for the rest of your life. It’s sublime. :) And you are NOT loving yourself, but allowing someone to treat you unkind. Right? It’s true! When you love yourself, truly love yourself in which you are suppose to do in wishing to live as a responsible adult, then you can never do that. You can never allow someone to be treating you unkind when you are loving yourself. Impossible! :) So… LOVE YOURSELF In life even if no one else chooses to. Who cares! You are and that’s why you have that huge smile on your face and that huge JOY living within your heart 24/7. ‘Cause you choose to be a responsible adult in your life. Even if no one else chooses to, that is no concern of yours! You will keep on loving yourself… ‘cause it feels sublime, that’s why. Lol. :) It does. There is no greater love in life, then the LOVE you have for yourself in choosing to live as a responsible human being!!! :) :) :)

    And you can get your self-dignity back too, Sueellen! :) If you want to, that is. To feel and be – how strong you really are and HAVE ALWAYS BEEN!!! :) It’s a great feeling to be the strong person we always were. You can do it too! We are so strong as women! We really are! Don’t let anyone or a man – ever have you think differently! :) And men are strong too! And I love them! I do! We are all so strong as human beings!!! I love everyone! Because I love myself! It’s true. :) If I can do it, you can too! It’s because we want to be loved, eh? But, you can be, by loving yourself. Right? :) Get that self-dignity back? Be that strong person you always were and are and LOVE YOURSELF. :) Right? From this last post of yours, I really see the strong person you are, and I even love you! Lol. I do! I see the strength in you and it’s lovely! You are lovely! :) You are. It’s because we want to be loved, right? Because it feels good. But, at the same time, we must keep our self-dignity as a human being. And find that guy that is treating us right. Who is loving us. If there is not kindness and patience, there is no love. It would be impossible. So find that guy, who loves You. If I already love you and don’t even know you or met you, only through your posts here, then of course you are going to find a guy who loves you!!! Lol. I love you for heaven sake!!! lol! And yes, I am 100% heterosexual. :) I have fallen in love with you Sueellen! Lol. So see? You can get any guy to fall in love with you, BUT you don’t’ want any guy, right? You want a nice guy. ;) A loving guy. A mature guy who know what love is and HOW to love. Right? ;) ‘Cause… he Mastered Self-LOVE!!! :) And thus… can love you know! He knows how!!! Lol. It’s true! It really is.

    Sueellen, you will find a most amazing, wonderful, sweet loving guy! Who is KIND and PATIENT and soooo loving. And He wants to hold your hand when you go out, you two smiling and having fun. Someone with a great sense of humour, who makes you laugh. And when he looks at you, you see love written all over his face for the love he has for you. And I will too! WHEN I find the time is right that I want another lovely, beautiful man in my life again. Sueellen it’s about finding a BEAUTIFUL MAN! Right? Beautiful in the sense in how he treats you! With such love and kindness but ALL the time and for the rest of your life though! :) And I will find the same too! Okay? We will do the same thing and if we choose to have another relationship, it will only be with a very beautiful, kind, loving patient man who likes to hold hands whenever we go out. Lol. I find that’s not hard to find. I find most men, all love to hold hands. It’s true! From my experience anyways. :)

    Okay, Sueellen, you want to know what the secret is? :) It’s …. TO LOVE YOURSELF!!! I know I say that over and over and over again like a broken record, lol. Because it’s true! That’s why I say it. LOVE You Sueellen before all else, love YOU! That is what we were suppose to do FIRST before all else in our lives and before loving anyone else. It was to first love US! You know why? ‘Cause you can’t really love another wholey without first loving yourself. It’s true! So by loving yourself FIRST, it is the most “self-LESS” act you can ever do in your life!!! Because then that has you loving everyone! When you Master Self-Love then you automatically love all others. It’s true. It’s how it works. It really does. Because you have made the conscious decision to love YOU! And when you do, you will have men (nice men that is, lol) KNOCKING DOWN YOUR DOOR TO BE WITH YOU. Okay?! :) Love ‘YOU’ and you can have any man you want who will love you and be kind to you and just someone to hang out with! Go shopping with laughing and having fun! Going out together, watch some movies at home, have dinners together. Someone who is NICE, Sueellen. Right? :) Someone who treats you like Gold! And you can treat him like gold too. Someone who is saying such nice things to you daily, because he wants to! Because he loves you in the truest definition of the word of what love really is!

    Yeah, you are really strong. My mother is a Gemini, I love her to pieces! She is the love of my life! So yeah, I love the mind sign of the gem, she is pretty witty too. Lol. And she makes me laugh so hard sometimes, she’s really funny. Lol. I’m a mind sign too of course being Aquarius. I can really sore into the cosmos most of the time. Lol again. :) And I KNOW you do too!!! Lol. ‘Cause you are Gemini! Lol.

    Take care. Nice to hear back from you. Sorry my posts are so long, but… I’m Aquarius eh? Lol. We are that air sign, eh? :) you are too! We love to express express express ourselves to no end. :) Oh well, I try to make them short anyways, just doesn’t turn out that way. Have a great day Sueellen! I hope you find a fantastic man who is just as fantastic as you are! Right? And that’s what I mean. Love yourself in how fantastic you are – that others see that you are! You must see that for yourself and love yourself – to find a man who is really going to love you too! You have to first love you! And no!!!! There is NO shame to love yourself! That was what we were supposed to do! We were NOT supposed to have someone else love us for us – of making them responsible to love us! NO!!! :) We were supposed to live as responsible human beings! And what does that mean? TO LOVE YOURSELF!!!! :) AND THEN EVERVERYONE ELSE WILL TOO – IN SEEING THAT YOU LOVE YOU SO MUCH! :) It’s true. And then… you can take your pick of which man you would wish to have in your life. A LOVING man – who loves himself and thus can love you in being: LOVING! Kind! Understanding! Patience and loves to smile and laugh and just have a great life together! It’s called: a “SOULMATE”. And yes, soulmates are those who get on beautifully in loving each other 24/7. That means kindness 24/7. It’s a person who is living self-less and not selfish? :) It’s not all about ME ME ME ME. But it’s about; us? It’s about YOU! :)

    I will go or I will write forever till eternity…… as I love writing of self-expression with a passion! :) Have a great day!!! I will too!!! :) Lots of LOVE to you Sueellen!!! :)

  145. I see lots of advice going on here, so I’m hoping I can get some of my own.

    About two years ago I met a Cancer man through an online dating website. We texted for a few weeks and had enjoyable banter back and forth. We finally met and hung out and watched a movie. Things got heated, but I stopped him and we didn’t have sex that night. He came over the next night and we hung out and he ended up spending the night. Same for the next night. After that, he ignored me. I felt used and told him I felt played, and didn’t hear back from him.

    About a month later, he got a hold of me again. He asked me if we could be FWB. I told him he was a jerk because of the previous interactions but I had had some stuff going on personally that didn’t really have me open to jumping into a relationship before, but I had wished he had been clear with his intentions. He told me that I didn’t tell him that, and I had responded that we never had a chance to talk about it. I took him up on his FWB offer and we hung out and hooked up one more time. We had text banter a few times, and it was again enjoyable. I really like his sense of humor and it meshes well with mine.

    I ended up in a relationship with an ex, and the next time he got a hold of me, I ignored him. He didn’t text me again.

    Fast forward two years. My relationship ended and I got in touch with him. He hadn’t saved my number and the playful banter started again and he figured out who it was pretty quickly. My ex is still living in my house, and I wanted to be respectful of his feelings until he can move out, but he and I agreed to meet up. He’s living with his parents because of his financial situation right now, so I go to his house when he gets alone time and I’m free. Right now it’s just sex, but last time we got together the sex was… Different. More intimate than usual.

    I really like him (never forgot him, obviously) and might want to pursue something more with him once I’m personally and emotionally in a better position to do so. He’s a self-proclaimed “asshole” and I pretend to go along with it, although I see through it, and I think he knows I’m just pretending to go along with it. I had texted him about possibly getting together and he didn’t answer. He doesn’t always answer texts (I’m working on no expectations, so if I don’t hear back from him I don’t freak out), but that time I had asked for a response. I sent him something along the lines of “you know jerkface, I won’t think you’re any less of an asshole if you’d actually answer a text once in awhile”. He responded to that that he wasn’t free when I was, and had some enjoyable banter after.

    I sent him a lighthearted picture the other day and he responded to that right away.

    I know crabs are guarded, and he is aware of my living situation right now. He also knows that he is the only person I am sleeping with right now – information I offered, not information he asked for.

    I don’t want to ask him where he is emotionally with me because of my situation. It’s not fair to him to consider me as anything but a FWB right now because I am not completely available. I have told my ex that I was “seeing” someone else, but I’m not exactly going to bring the Cancer guy around while he’s still living here. I did initially sneak to see him, but that has since ended and I’m being upfront about going to see someone else (although I haven’t told Cancer guy this).

    Have I completely ruined my chances of anything more than a FWB with this Cancer guy? If the situation were different, we would probably actually hang out, even if he did end up spending the night after. He seems to enjoy my company, and I enjoy his.

    Any advice would be appreciated.

    • Hi Cappygirl! Well, my first thoughts are that you are just sex friends. I’m not sure what FWB stands for? But I assume it’s like “fuck buddy”.. yes? If he’s gotten that into his mind about you, it will be difficult, but not impossible to change his mind. If he has told you he is an “asshole” it is likely because he doesn’t want to open up to anyone. I’m glad you enjoy each others company.. and when you got back together the past chemistry you had re-ignited it’s flame. That’s totally ‘normal’ with a past lover. He carries pieces of your soul and your karma with him.. and you, his. If you desire more from him, inquire. If he resists, then enjoy it for what it is or step away. Don’t push him. Best of luck.

    • Hmm, it’s difficult to say without knowing anything about him or you. I also look at things differently. How hard are you willing to work to make the the relationship work. How hard are you willing to work on anything period. My Scorpio moon tells me that if I set my mind to it, there isn’t anything I can’t do. It’s all about setting your mind to it. If you want it, you can make it work, If you don’t want it, don’t try. The guy has his problems. His age is important, but I’ll speak generally, not having a good financial situation as a Cancer is a is BAD. We need security, and not having money makes us insecure. It’s also possible he doesn’t want to grow up. Friends with benefits, well, friends are a difficult subject for us because of our ability to cut off the relationship if it gets to close to heart. As far as benefits go, that’s more just an outlet for release. If you push hard it won’t go well. Maybe he is waiting for you to make yourself available. We don’t commit unless we know the other is and his behavior could be a reaction to your lack thereof…

      Sent from my iPhone

      • Thanks guys.

        His financial situation is due to a divorce and wage garnishments from a credit card. He told me last time we were together that it would be another year and a half until it was completely taken care of and he could afford his own place. I wondered if that was why he doesn’t make himself available because it is something that he is sensitive about. He’s commented more than once that it makes him feel like a “loser”.

        I’m willing to wait, and have no problems taking it slow. I’m willing to work on it to make it work if he is. He has been more responsive when I text him first – which I do only once or twice a week.

        Would it be a good idea to wait until I have completely extracted myself from my previous relationship before saying anything? I am no longer emotionally or physically involved with the ex, but I imagine it would be difficult for anyone to feel OK about a relationship if there was an ex living with them – especially if to avoid drama they can’t come to my home.

      • Also, sex between us is amazing!!! I enjoy it on the “rougher” side, and while that’s generally not his thing (so he has said), he tries really hard to do the things that I like. I’ve asked him what he likes, and he’s never really said anything – or at least suggested anything that I could do that I am not doing or anything that I could do differently.

        He really does try to make sure that it’s good for me, and he seems to enjoy himself too.

      • Yeah that’s an easy answer, as long as you enjoy it, we enjoy it. Giving you pleasure gives us satisfaction. It makes us feel like men.. And I think it’s a good thing that he pays attention to what you want because it means he is not focused on what he wants and himself only. It means he has deep feelings for you imo. Cause if not, the sex would be focused on his pleasure only and would feel awkward for you.

        Sent from my iPhone

  146. You are so sweet and kind. Shame you are not a man and live close by I think we would hit it off! hahaha. I do have a man in my life that loves me like you wrote about by I just don’t feel the same about him for many reasons I can’t go into on here. He is my best friend for over 30 years but I just can’t return his love. He is a Virgo.
    I am a strong person and I will return to that strong person but it will just take some time. I just hope hit doesn’t harden my heart.
    My Mom was also a Gemini and was sooooo funny. She was a true Gemini, in that she had a lot of different personalities and they could all come out quickly. hahahah. I am normally the same all the time. I worked with men all my life and this one young man said to me one day, you are always the same, we can’t even tell when you are on that monthy woman thing like when my Mom is on it.. hahahaha.. But push my buttons and watch out. I am blunt at times. I have been very blunt with my Cancer man and at times that seems to “wake” him up and he would respond quite well. Don’t know if that is the age difference and he feels when I am blunt, etc. I am scolding him like his mom or not. haha. I am 18 years older than he is, so….
    Miss Curious, thank you for your posts as well. You have made me see things I knew all the time but needed to hear again. I need to find myself and what I want out of life and not settle for anything less..
    You have a wonderful day!!

    P.S. I hope piscesgirl is having the time of her life. She does seem strong but like me, I hope he doesn’t wear her down and she ends up getting hurt and lose some of that strength.

    • Hi Sueellen.

      Thanks for your kind words. You are very sweet and kind too. :) Yes, you may be right in what you said of your joke, Lol. It’s nice that you have such a good friend like that, and knowing him for so long. Yes, Gemini can be known to be quite witty. My mother is quite witty, and other gems I know are too. :) You are very welcome, Sueellen. Thank you for your posts too. I enjoyed chatting with you very much. I wish you all the best in your life! And have a very nice evening! Take care. :)

  147. I’ve had such a bad time! !!!! I don’t know how to explain it but ill try. We all left for the weekend, he settle at his parents house, then at night he tells me he has a date with his friend, he leaves, I say nothing I was beyond mad but I didn’t say anything except have a good time kissed him and he left, he came home at 1 and went to bed we were talking about his “date” with his friend and all seemed ok, btw it was a guy friend so he says, we slept together but it was far from what I expected, I’m sorry but I don’t see the whole hype with cancer guys he didn’t rock my world at all. But moving on, in the morning he got up got dressed went off about his day like if I wasn’t even there, his parents are the sweetest, him hmmm not so much, long story short I have not seen him since this morning, ge called to say he was at his friends house etc blah blah, I packed and I left I excused myself with his parents which totally understood my point that I didn’ teven try to make one. I don’t think he has noticed I’m gone. Wtf?????

  148. I’ve been friends with a cancer guy for 7 years now and he knows how I feel about him but that doesn’t matter. He has a Virgo girlfriend and he told me that he doesn’t love her, but he’s in a relationship for her sake. He told me that he wanted to leave her without hurting her. he told me that they went to her sister’s party and how nasty his sister was to her (basically telling her that she was not good enough for him, and he didn’t interfere cz he felt like this is what she needed to hear). Anyway I was at a restaurant with my friend when he came to say hi to me (he was with his girlfriend). After they left, my friend made comments about her that she was just a bimbo and that she was disappointed in him with his choice). I decided to tell him this (only that my friend was disappointed in him and told him that she basically said something similar to what his sister said to the girlfriend) I was really trying to help him and show him that this relationship is bad for his reputation (family and friends). well he told me that he was disappointed in me and he said he was done with me. In response I told him that i’ll never bother him again (so I might have lost my best friend over this and i’m not sure if I should apologise cz I don’t wanna lose him.

    • Hey Scorpittarius- One thing about Crab men, they make their own decisions. Telling him something is “bad for his reputation” is absolutely none of your business (no offense) of course YOU know that you’re doing it because you care about him.. However a sensitive and private Crab feels very offended by being told his romantic decisions are poor.. It is especially escalated due to the fact that you’re interested in him for yourself. To him, it will seem like you’re trying to break he&his girlfriend up for your own interests. In addition, gossiping and bringing drama to the situation is a terrible way to change a Crab’s mind. Sure, that may work wonders on a Leo or an Aries, but quite the opposite to the crab. If you love him you will let him live his life. If he loves you, he may decide to explore that one day.. But until then never ever stick your nose into someones relationship and tell them it’s “wrong” for them. That is a Karmic sin, everyone is on their own path and must learn their own lessons. It’s not your business to do what you’re doing.. In my opinion it’s best if you back away. He may see you as heartless and backstabbing and if you want a chance to be his friend in the future, you should start walking on eggshells. I’d send him an apology card to start and make sure you’re sincere.
      The reason he didn’t interfere at the party is because what his sister did was petty and wrong. Just because a Crab doesn’t object does not mean he agrees. If he’s staying with his girlfriend even though he doesn’t love her, that’s his business. He may really love her deep down and not be ready to leave her. I’ve known crabs that will stay with someone for years just because they feel that is MAY improve. Once he commits his heart and his time he will stick it out until it comes burning down.. Just so he can say he tried. Good luck. <3

  149. I have given up on a cancer guy (best friend) here’s my story:

    I’m a scorpio female and I met this guy in 2006 back in varsity in our first year. I didn’t feel anything for him, but there was something about him that made me want to spend time with him. our friendship developed as we spent more time together. I think he had a thing for me and it was like that for a few years but he didn’t say anything.

    My feelings for him changed after a few years and I fell for him. I’m 2 years older than him. I remember this one time, in 2008 we were sitting with one of his acquaintances and he told her that he was in love with an “older woman”. Fast track to 2011, I was madly in love with him and I knew that he felt the same way about me, I could just feel it and we spent a lot of time together. My friends and some of his friends (and strangers thought we were dating) we still get this sometimes when we are around people, they always think that we are together. anyway I was just dying inside and I couldn’t take it anymore, I told him that I was in love with him. He didn’t say anything really, he just kissed me (I didn’t expect him to tell me how he felt cz he had a girlfriend at the time). But I just felt rejected after that when I called him and he told me that his then girlfriend had a problem with our friendship. I just dropped it and we didn’t talk for about 3 months until he ran into me and pretended like nothing happened. we continued where we left off ( friendship and well being friends w benefits). he would come to me for my spot on advise.

    Fast-track to this year. I moved to another city and we don’t spend any time together anymore and he hardly ever calls. but I decided to visit him at his place, he still has a girlfriend. he started asking me strange questions and saying strange things to me. he asked me if I would keep his child if he gets me pregnant, I told him that I don’t believe in abortion and I would never kill his baby (by the way, his girlfriend was pregnant before this and he told her to get rid of it :( when I asked him about his choice he told me that she was not the right woman). After this strange question he told me that we should go on holiday together and that we should move in together). later that night, I decided to sleep over, he said in not so many words that I meant the world to him. he then wanted to cuddle, I just sensed heavy energy around him when he said the following: he said that he was scared that he would lose me, that if we decided to take our friendship to the next level the relationship will end, just like all his previous relationships and there’ll be nothing left, not even friendship. he said that even his friends (we only spent a few hours with them) thought that there was something going on between us) when I asked him to tell me what it was that he was trying to tell me he couldn’t, he refused and he said it was nothing). I then decided for the second time to tell him straight how I felt about him. I had to force him to say the words. I told him that if he didn’t admit how he felt then our friendship would be over. we had a HUGE fight cz he didn’t want the friendship to end but then he didn’t want to tell me how he felt. he finally admitted that he felt the same way about me but that he didn’t want a relationship cz he was afraid that he’ll lose me when the relationship ends cz we’ll hate each other. that’s where it ended. He was going through a difficult time, I told him that I would stick around and be his friend until things got better, and I kept my promise. I was expecting him to run the opposite direction after this but he didn’t. He’s still in a relationship with another girl but he told me that he doesn’t love her.

    We just had a huge fight yesterday, i told him that a friend criticised his girlfriend and he told me that he was done with me, i also told him politely that our friendship is over. Maybe this is what i need in order to move on, but I’m not sure if I’ll be able to do that coz I think I’m still in love with him. should i just let him go? I’ve been trying to let him go but I can’t…

    • I’m having trouble with this one. I read it when I was tipsy, and didn’t like what I was reading. I have yet to re read and give a better response, but forgetting the content, and remembering the feeling I got when reading tells me you should walk away for good and not turn around.

      Sent from my iPad

    • Ok, just re read. One thing now, all my advice is my opinion and in no way am i saying im not wrong. This guy has some fear inside that prevents him from getting close with those he has physical relationships with. Some sort of mental split in his head about how love works. He probably had a bad relationship with one of his parents that has warped his love sense. He likes you genuinely. He likes your depth and everything about you. He just can’t bring himself to truly accept love from someone else. If so, then you should unfortunately walk away because this is my current problem and I have yet to find a solution. I know the cause, just don’t know how to build the bridge to accept the love because the last was destroyed.

      Sent from my iPad

      • You are right Jonathan, he doesn’t have a good relationship with his father. I’ve been telling him to fix his relationship because this will affect him and most of his relationships until he does. he doesn’t have a good track record when it comes to relationships either but he is growing…I tried to walk away several times but something beyond me prevented me from walking away. What I mean is whenever I decided to walk away, I either had strange dreams about him or he would do something that made me change my mind. What I’ve decided to do is to keep my distance and be there for him if he needs me, that’s all. I can’t just leave him coz I just feel like he needs me, I don’t know why.

      • Yeah, telling him to fix things won’t do anything and just make him annoyed. He knows the problem(hopefully), just not the solution. After all that fighting and bullshit from him being with other girls, ok sorry the more I think about that, the more I think your being played. This break would be a convenient time to go talk to some fb that he hasn’t seen in a while. Then when you calm down, he comes back, then repeats… Pleas just back away. With this man, he may be like honey, but the bees are to big and there are to many. You can’t get inside because he doesn’t want you inside. Let him sort his priorities out and i need to make it clear, if you want to be his partner, you can’t let him walk on you. His partner is someone who holds him to higher standards and expects him to perform 100% when it is available from him. And she also works on increasing the duration of said availability through communication.

        Sent from my iPhone

      • Thanks Jonathan for your advise. When I make decisions I always follow my heart, but his time I think I’ll just follow my head. I think it’s time for me to let go and forget about this crab coz honestly I deserve so much better (not just in terms of a relationship, but friendship as well) and I don’t even think he’s worth the effort anymore. I think it’s time for me to finally move on, it’s his loss anyway. I made a promise to him. When he was going through a dark period around May this year, I told him I would be there for him until things get better, things are now better and there’s no need for me to stick around. I will miss him but this has to be done….

  150. Oh Piscesgirl, I am so very sorry!! He is a jerk.
    As far as sleeping with him was it mostly about his pleasure but not your pleasure? Did he seem sort of disconnected and you felt like his blowup doll? ( I will tell you why I asked this once I received your reply)
    I am so glad you left and I am sure his parents were embarrassed they raised a man like that. I don’t care what his sign is, he had no reason to ignore you to go out with a “friend”.
    Leave his butt before you really fall in love with him. I don’t know why we could fall for these idiots at times but we can, so RUN now!
    Again, so sorry this happened..

  151. Actually….. I told my Cancer guy to “F” off at the end of our fight in July because he was acting like an a$$. Took him a month, but he wrote me and apologized for his actions and behavior. And when I say a month… I mean a month. 30 days exactly!
    That month was agonizing not talking to him or seeing him, but I did it and it so far has paid off.

    • Hey Ctnkrbll30- VERY normal for a Cancer man to be super crabby during July- the time of Cancer. Most Crab men’s Natal Sun progress into Leo before they are 30 years old.. So we end up with a man who is moody AND dramatic during late June through mid August. What you did was exactly what I try to advice my readers to do with a Crab, speak your peace and walk the other way. They respond well to direct honesty, even if it’s a little harsh. Kudos to you and your strength!

  152. He was into it, passionate, lots of eye contact, lots of pleasure for me kind of with the wrong tool plus he is clumsy and very quick if you know what I mean, and his pleasure seemed very different I’m telling you nothing could of prepared me for that. He did call last night around midnight and apologized and asked for me to come back, I said no, that I’ve had enough of this game and I’m done, that I don’t need someone that treats me like that and I won’t tolerate his ways, I told him that inliked him but I love me more, he begged and I didn’t give in. So today I turned off my phone all day avoiding his excessive phone calls only to find out he left me like 19 voicemails, but honestly is going to take more than that at this point, I’m done and yes I like him to pieces and I’m int him A LOT but no way I’m putting myself thru this FOR LIFE hell no!!!!! I’m not even sad or mad I am just in shock of how things turned out. Bad sex, bad manners, I mean I understand he may be scared but dammit way to show it by leaving me with his parents alone like that. They are as shocked as I am they say they have never seen him act this way. His mom called and said they had a nasty talk about this and that he was upset, he said he was indeed scared because he “adores” me and he doesn’t want to fk things up yet he pulls this stunt, they told me they have never heard him talk about any girl like that, that he is very reserved and he just opened up to them big time, however I stand my grounds, I told them I was not that kind of woman that you can just toy around with and they agree. They didn’t ask me to give him a chance or anything, they were just very apologetic.

    • Not everyone is cut out for this type of guy. You might find yourself being happier with a earthy/fire mixed astro man. Nice flame with a nice foundation and you could flood all you want.

      Sent from my iPhone

    • I am not completely sure what you mean about his lovemaking but I will tell you that if he made a lot of eye contact then he was into you, if the eye contact wasn’t there then he was either mad or upset at you or not in to you. I will tell you they may flip flop on how they have sex with you. One time it will be wonderful and the next time it wouldn’t be worth shaving your legs for. :-)
      If you upset them they will “punish” you with bad sex. But smile at you like nothing is wrong. Until you figure it out later when ghe ignores you again.
      I just don’t understand why he did that to you…. Could be imaturity. You said he was almost 30. Mine is 31 and can be so imature at times and at times he seems more mature than I am.
      Re-read all of your posts on here. I think that will help you make your decision.
      You are a strong young woman. I admire you for your strenght. Don’t ever let him take that from you.

      • Sueellen, he is a 3 minute man I don’t think that’s punishement I think is just who he is. He use lots of other things besides his penis, I guess in an effort of pleasing me because he knew he was quick with his penis, that just doesn’t sit well with me. I love foreplay but if I foreplay back and he delivers quick I stay hot and bothered and no fast recovery on his end then this is more than stage fry. He is acting immature big time, lets see what the new week brings. I expect lots of apologies and lots of contact, but I could be wrong, I am not sure what to expect from him anymore. I however have decided to stay put, now it will take ME a loooong time to reconsider and recover and if in the meantime he gets tired and walks away, well, then it wasn’t meant to be. Like I said I am in total disbelieve as to how this weekend played off. The best part, I’m not even sad, my wall is up and unreachable at this point 3 husky trucks and a bulldozer can’t bring it down.

      • Damn, read the post I have cappy, that might have more of an effect than you realize.

        Sent from my iPhone

      • And I’m curious, did you think that just because the Internet said we are good in bed, that he would be? Considering he told you he only had one girl before you? Is anyone great in bad after only knowing one person? It’s quite possible his experience with his ex is next to nothing compared to what you have? I’m about to start walking on eggshells so I’ll let you think about those post for now.

        Sent from my iPhone

      • Jonathan no need to walk on eggshells. I don’t like the negative/pushy talk on my website. This is a positive website and you’ve given far more advice than any reader EVER. We both do this for free and from our hearts. I agree after knowing one person NO ONE is good in bed. That’s absolutely ridiculous. I had many lovers before I “knew” anything. Keep doing what you do and never change. Thanks- Christina

  153. Jonathan with all due respect is not that I AM not caught up for this kind of men is that I don’t think any woman ia caught up for this man. He is plain and simple bad in bed. Ues the passion was somewhat there and the eye contact but the rest was bs, I am 33 years old and I’m not saying I’ve slept with half of my town but I have my share of experiences and trust me when I say I am dealing with an amateur here, he is a one two spet kind of guy, no variety, very blah, I am just shocked about it after so many good reviews if cancer men in bed. Plus add to this the fact that he bailed on me in the middle of a family vacation. Bizarre.

  154. WTF Jonathan? What kind of reply was that? No woman, regardless of her sign would want to put up with what this man did to Piscesgirl. Yes, he can be taught how to please her and be much better in bed but, my goodness, their first time and he is like that? Most MEN regardless of their sign, will try to make the first time the best you ever had. And, If a cancer man is looking for his mate for life and puts up thru all these freaking tests then why would he do her like this not only in bed but leaving her with his parents????
    We need help in understanding these Cancer men we so desperately want to love. So help her understand his bullshit this weekend…

    • Please don’t misunderstand that post. If you want to know what you have to put up with being with a cancer man, ask Christina. This is what I was referring to. The issue that weekend was some mood he was in. Off tangent. My dad told me once about some hot blonde he had a night with when he was 20. He said he worked so hard and thought about how much fun it was gonna be, and he failed. He worked the image in his head so much that by the time it started, mentally he was at the end so to speak. He said PISSED didn’t describe how mad he was(she thought it was kinda funny and amusing). I’m just trying to make the point, you guys haven’t communicated at all. You don’t know what was going on in his head. I mean seriously, he is trying to get in your pants for a week. If he didn’t fantasize about you he was fantasizing about someone else.. IMO, his failure emphasized how much he was ready for it and wanted it. My post about the not your type of man, not everyone is cut out for the emotional ride they are about to be taken on. Maybe you want the forward fire signs who will make it clear what they want with little work on your end, or a down to earthy man who is solid like a rock with great mental strength. Point is, emotional relationships come with emotional pain, if you can’t stand the pain, there is no gain. On this issue I will remain black and white. Without talking to him, you can’t judge or make a fair decision about him.

      Sent from my iPhone

    • Hi sueellen2 & PiscesGirl- No reason to get emotional Sue and confront Johnathan saying “WTF” and then demand him to explain her bullshit weekend. He referenced his past posts… He has explained it already and may not feel like typing it all out again. I do not appreciate demands and emotional outbursts based on what you believe is truth, not everyone agrees on what something is “supposed” to be. This is a positive site which has become quite a good thread for Astrological relationship advice. Keep the negative toxic talk out of it. Thanks.

      PiscesGirl, Often times the first time for a Crab is very nerve wracking. He is very likely a “real man” who is feeling very overwhelmed.

      For him to leave a family vacation shows how overwhelmed he felt- Enough to embarrass himself to his family. Likely his 3 minute mark is emotional, likely related to a past emotional tie… Also it could be that he’s just not experienced sexually. My Crab man had only slept with a few people before we met. I had to teach him quite a lot. Would you rather he be a stallion in bed and a huge whore? Doubtful.Not everyone agrees the first time is perfect, it’s usually quite awkward.. Especially for the emotional Cancer.

      Sometimes crabs get scared and run. They just need time to reflect on what’s happened and gather their whits before returning. It shows he cares enough to feel something for Pisces girl.

      • It’s ok, being emotional men, we inspire emotional responses. It’s understandable to have heated feelings toward these issues. Remember, your ability to control these emotions and deal with them accordingly is the reason why your cancer men chose you because they liked that quality. Just because it didn’t work out right now doesn’t mean you should give that quality up. I said to someone before, be the better person and learn from the lessons you experience so as to become a better person regardless of who is in your life(even as a “screw you, I’m better without you”).

        Sent from my iPhone

      • What just happened?? I stepped away and all hell breaks lose?? Guys I don’t wanna cause any kind of disturbance here. I’m confused that’s all, I take the good and the bad by opening up on a public forum I take the chances to hear what i like and what I don’t like, like I stated before, I love this forum and its very informative, specially with people that has experience with Cancer men and a Cancer man in the house ;-). I am a lover not a fighter, yes I rant a lot but I don’t want to cause commotion. Sometimes I don’t understand why people responde the way they do but I accept it, I can’t change how people react, I’m sorry if I cause any emotional outburst to either of you. Can we just get along? Jonathan, Sueelen, Christina you guys are awesome, sometimes brutal but I rather hear the truth than some crappy bs lol. Im a very emotional person too and sometimes I just want to break the phone lol but I step away and revisit the subject with a clear mind.

      • It’s ok, don’t worry. I just don’t want to ruin any chance of my advice helping your relationship. As long as you want to make this relationship work, I will help. If not, I will tell you the best way to end it. You just have to make up your mind as to what you want. If something like this past weekend is enough to end it. Then the rest is easy. If not, the road is long, but is full of happiness and potential joy in life.

        Sent from my iPhone

      • Oh Pisces girl I just love ya, so sweet. No one is upset or aggravated. I only request positivity and I will speak up about it when I feel I need to. I’m thrilled my blog is helping so many and that it has turned into a forum for advice. SO COOL! I get SO many nasty threatening comments on here that I do not approve (obviously or y’all would see them). Just a few days ago on the Taurus man page a guy was SO angry and told me “FU Christina and FU don’t know what you are saying FU with TWO middle fingers you f-ing bitch FU FU FU” but he didn’t abbreviate “FU”… and I didn’t approve his comments. He left two comments like that. See, I just want peace and love :) <3

    • And another thing. Isn’t the behavior he displayed indicative that he knew things didn’t go well… After failing in bed, how do you think a cancer man would react? Some of you already know how much you need to give your men an ego boost, now imagine that he just failed what every man regardless of their sign should be doing right… I think this stands to explain where his thoughts were. He was so nervous, you are the 2nd women…. Take time to really think about what 2nd means. Especially after the first. He probably feels like absolute and utter garbage right now…

      Sent from my iPhone

  155. Hey everyone…..
    Ive been reading through all your posts for the last few days now and its been a Very Interesting read, what with being a Cancer female myself seeing a younger Cancer male.

    To both the Cancer Males on this forum, thanks! even though you are younger than the one Im seeing (he’s 42 Im 55) he still shows the same things that you both speak about. The reluctance to share his innermost feelings. But then I am the

    My frustration is, that after 14 mths, we still havent spoken openly about our feelings, which as you can gather I instinctively Feel from him and vice versa, due to what Cancer’s are…VERY VERY protective of their hearts, emotions and souls.

    Oh…before I forget…we are NOT ‘Shapeshifters’…we are ‘Chameleons’….we change our colours (energy) to suit the people and situation(s) we find ourselves in. Shapeshifters shift form…we dont do that…as we stay true to our basic form humans with very deep flowing thoughts and feelings. Yes our heads do rule our hearts aka emotions, as we are terrible at seeing negative emotional scenarios when dealing with people, be it people we are emotionally attached to, friends, work colleagues etc and so on. Always protecting ourselves….as we must.. as crabs always protect their soft underbelly…which for us, is our hearts.

    Ok Johnathon, you say …dont jump into the sexual arena too quickly…but that is how it went down the first time me and my cancer guy met….the attraction was overwhelming, as here was someone who knew exactly how to make me laugh…which is a big thing for me….same type of humour…same type of deep indepth thinking and talking on things…same type of looking at the world etc etc. We just clicked and yes it did end up that way.

    Oh dont get me wrong it hasnt all been a big bed of roses and light and intenseness — even though I understand him in the way another Cancer only can… I am still woman and he is still man…so the differences are there.
    But I would like to ask an opinion and help/advice here if I may?

    • Do you see a future with him? Will you marry him? If you aren’t then don’t try to get closer. We only show you our hearts if you show us your desire to be with us for life. Not fast, but at a nice gentle pace that you both take together. Again, you need to establish a mental foundation before doing a physical one because that will be the reference he thinks about how you two met. It was physical, not the mental we treasure. Try to establish a mental relationship. Show a need for him to help with something in your life, we like being needed and being independent comes across like you don’t need us.. Try slipping little things in, how’s your family, friends, ask a question you might have about what his parents did for a living. Specific questions that feel like putting a 1000 piece puzzle, individually they mean little, but together they paint a picture.

      Sent from my iPhone

  156. Can please someone help me out..i am 18 n met my cancer guy in college.i liked him and told him.He had no answer.But he initiated the conversation.We started speaking online,,Pretty much told me many of his internal stuff..He seemed very comfortable with me..Many a times i felt he liked me .Just felt..All was fine until we had a misunderstanding and we stopped talking..But we patched up..But he started behaving aloof.I used to feel very bad and i pulled away.Few time.s he initiated the contact and asked me if something was wrong.But i always replied in negative.Suddenly i started contacting him again.But now hes aloof..Is there any chance of us getting together?Did he ever feel for me anything…?When does he share bit private details of his life..?please me out..he is driving me mad

    • First of all, a cancer man at that age, my age… God I don’t even know what to say. I don’t think even if I was ready for love I would get involved at this age. In my life, certain things would need to be guaranteed for me to date. My financial situation, life in general, and family. Any disruption in those 3 and I don’t feel I would be able to maintain the relationship… Again I don’t have a priority on it, but I think any cancer at this age can’t be taken seriously. First, what is he majoring in. Does he have any chance of getting a job when he comes out with that college debt. Look to the future regarding him. These other women already have men who have matured according to the world, while you have an immature teenager who hasn’t even made it out of college. Give me some more detail about him and if you don’t mind, the personal stuff he told you.

      Sent from my iPhone

  157. First Jonathan, I apologize for saying nasty words but I do not apologize for what I said. IMO, You were reacting to what she felt about how he was in bed (Not everyone is cut out for this type of guy. You might find yourself being happier with a earthy/fire mixed astro man. Nice flame with a nice foundation and you could flood all you want. ) At the time she wrote she was upset about the entire weekend not just his lack of bedroom skills. Your comment, IMO, was coming from your being a man and feeling like she was putting down all cancer men and you are a cancer man. So it stung you a little and you stung back. It was not the normal response you normally give to someone. I was not demanding you give her advice, just wanting you to explain why he did this to her if it was a cancer trait and not just go by your personal opinion. You have given me wonderful advice as well as every one on here and that is why that response POd me off. I guess it was the Gemini and the partial red-head in me that set me off. Again, I am very sorry for getting so upset and please know I do appreciate all you have done for me and for others. If had not found you I might have went completely crazy trying to figure him out on my own. It might not have ended as well as it did and I have you to thank for that..

    Christina Ren, I also apologize to you in that I should have never been that ugly to Jonathan or anyone on here. It just really hit me wrong but that is no excuse. I really have appreciated all the advice given to me by everyone and it has really helped me in my relationship with my former cancer man. I have also enjoyed giving advice to others in hopes it may help them. If you want me to stay off of the posts I will. Just let me know and there will not be any hard feelings.

    Piscesgirl, you did not start anything. So do not blame yourself. I have a lot going on and let my temper get the best of me. I hope things work out for you and you find what you are looking for. Stay on here and listen to everyone. It really does help.

    • Again, you misunderstand. If you want to solve a problem with someone, what do you do? You COMMUNICATE about it. His lack of communication shows how much he was thinking and was plagued by what was happening. In his head, he thinks “don’t screw this up, I have one chance and I like this girl a lot and see myself with her”. Under that kind of pressure, his mood would be very closed off in response to him trying to think of how to do it well… It’s quite possible he left to go talk with his buddy as to the best way to approach the night… It’s impossible to say because there has been no COMMUNICATION. With no communication, she left, and has been rejecting communication(to my knowledge) since. Without communication you have no chance in hell with a cancer man. I don’t care how you think you should be treated(don’t take this in the wrong direction), without talking with the other party, nothing is clear, even the conclusion you yourself came to. Not everyone gets along well, and some people are better off friends. Cancer men could be a friend only person for you. If you can’t handle the difficulty in communication with a cancer, find someone else. It won’t change unless you take your relationship to the next level like Christina. To reach that level, you have to handle the difficult communication problems. Walking out and shutting out a cancer is not the way to handle and in this case would turn him all the way off for several years to all women.

      Sent from my iPhone

      • Gosh we STILL have communication problems y’all! We made 5 years July and were friends for two years before that!! Friends who loved each other. Talk about torture! Anyway, this year we’re working on him telling me what he’s thinking and not assuming I do not want to hear all about it. He’s also got a Taurus moon.. Making him an even more stubborn communicator and slow to change. OY!!!!

    • Well, lunch went well, I asked a lot about his life, family, etc he was very into it but he didn’t ask anything back. But at least so I thought we were stirring away from any dense topics. He told me that he didn’t want to get closer to me emotionally, that its ok if make plans for us and if he can he will go but he won’t make any plans for us on his end because that can only be interpreted by me as a sign of affection and closeness. That he said he didn’t want a relationship right from the start and that this is not what he wants right now, maybe in the future but not now now. I was floored, I mean, the chemistry, the talks, the sex, the parents, the lunches, I mean wth happened???? He still looks at me and kisses me with soooo much passion yet he says this things????…..he says he backs off because I show a lot of emotions and he doesn’t want for me to hurt cause he doesn’t want a relationship now, I am at work but I honestly feel like running away and hide and cry, scream I’m so frustrated :'(

  158. No, I understand exactly what you are saying. It just didn’t seem, at the time, to me that is how you were answering her at that time. so I did misunderstand that. sorry… I agree, you MUST let a cancer man know how you feel or he will take your being quiet as rejection. You just have to be careful how you approach the subject with him..

    • I don’t deny that did strike a nerve, but that was at the general assumption that we should be able to perform magic when the guy clearly said he had only been with one person. I was more upset at the reaction towards him.

      Sent from my iPhone

      • Lol! Thank you, for some reason that just made me bust out laughing. Although its no less true, the humor made it a little less painful to swallow.

        Sent from my iPhone

  159. I bet he is embarrassed and his pride is crushed but I believe, ( couldn’t find the post) she said he had been in the previous relationship for 6 years. I assume by that time he had learned how to please a woman. I think, IMO, that they hold back on sex until they are sure they really care about you. My former guy did this for months, even worse that this man was with her, but I could tell he was holding back. It took him 7 months before he finally showed me what he had to offer. I think that was a turning point for him because he let his guard down and showed me how much he really cared. That only lasted a couple of months tho because of major issues that we were dealing with. But this might be why her man was like that. Who knows…

    • Again refer to the post I sent to cappy. We don’t have sex for everyone. Just you. The last girlfriend probably enjoyed what he did. But Pisces girl is not her, and we lead, only when we know what you want. We don’t do good in general because we don’t need to try hard to get ours, so we focus on you. Without any clear communication as to what you want, we can’t deliver.

      Sent from my iPhone

      • You guys might be right, but for now ill keep my legs crossed his pants zipped lol. Like I expected today was a great day for apologies, I even got lunch delivered, I don’t want to make him suffer but he has to learn that if he has something in his mind ge can come to me and talk to me about it, I didn’t give him much face time today, I dressed to impress with one if his favorite outfits i have and I kept my distance, he was raging lol tomorrow we have a real lunch date and we will talk lets see what happens. He is adorable yet very complicated, I may be a pisces but I don’t like nothing to rock my boat emotionally it disturbs my Zen and I get out of control. I feel he could definitely do this to me matter of fact he is kind of rocking my boat emotionally the wrong way. But I believe we can sort things out. One day at a time I keep telling myself. I have patience, not a lot but I still have some left in me for him, today I went out to dinner with my friends and I had a great time I disconnected from Cancer world and I felt good, so tomorrow I can revisit this matter. He didn’t stop texting allllll night though

      • Ok, I’m sorry but I have to make it clear, this will not stop. You will be on the roller-coaster for a very long time. I don’t doubt how you feel, but if that is how you feel, you should just stop. You have to give him a reason to open up to you and communicate. If you demand to much, you will get ditched faster than you might think.

        Sent from my iPhone

  160. So what do I do????? I don’t want this to be over, I fall for this creature more and more everyday. He is not a nasty man or anything just full of quirks.

    • Well that’s a good thing, your still in.. Next is to accept his apology. You don’t have to fully forgive him for his behavior if you chose to, but release this past weekend from his conscious. Do that, and I think you shouldn’t have a problem keeping it going.

      Sent from my iPhone

      • Well, lunch went well, I asked a lot about his life, family, etc he was very into it but he didn’t ask anything back. But at least so I thought we were stirring away from any dense topics. He told me that he didn’t want to get closer to me emotionally, that its ok if make plans for us and if he can he will go but he won’t make any plans for us on his end because that can only be interpreted by me as a sign of affection and closeness. That he said he didn’t want a relationship right from the start and that this is not what he wants right now, maybe in the future but not now now. I was floored, I mean, the chemistry, the talks, the sex, the parents, the lunches, I mean wth happened???? He still looks at me and kisses me with soooo much passion yet he says this things????…..he says he backs off because I show a lot of emotions and he doesn’t want for me to hurt cause he doesn’t want a relationship now, I am at work but I honestly feel like running away and hide and cry, scream I’m so frustrated :’(

  161. ya jonathan…my story…. with a cancer guy…
    I am in college and he is working…I guess he is mature enough…We used to meet in chatrooms…He used to send me many romantic english songs and used to tell me to hear the lyrics carefully…Initially i thought of it as nothing..But now when i think about it…I cant help but analyse his actions.Obviously there were many other things said and unsaid in talks.but this was one among them.Does a cancer man seriously agree to initiate conversation even if hes in love with another girl?It doesnt seem though that hes committed to another girl…Whenever he left from the office…he used to ping by himself..and we spoke for hours on end..Hes told me some of his private stuff too…He..opened up to me in a way..Does this mean something or i am just reading between the lines…?How does a cancer man behave when he likes a girl?

  162. i have been dating a cancer man for almost 2years and he already told me i am the most special person to him. i love him but i didnt tell that to him straight because i want it him to be the first to tell me first this words. now i have this love letters that i write for him but never did get around to mailing it. and out of stupid drunkeness or idk i sent it all to his address. now im scared, i dont know what to do…should i hide? or just play cool. helpp??????

  163. I am a Cancer woman and unfortunately I am in love with two Cancer men. One cancer I am married to and we have been for years. Things started off great, but then a few negative things transpired, so there are some looming trust issues. To rewind a bit, I met the other Cancer guy at work while we were in college. We started off as friends. We hung out, not physical contact, just a budding friendship. Anytime I needed the smallest things (listening ear, ride or just company) he was right there. We were both in a relationship. Honestly, we barely spoke of our significant others, we just joked and enjoyed each other’s company. There was a lot of giggling and laughing involved.Then something happened and he made it clear that sex wasn’t what he wanted, but it happened anyway. He told me that he didn’t want me thinking that’s what he was after when it wasn’t. We had been friends for while over a year before this happened. We didn’t talk everyday, but several times a week. I never expected anything other than what was happening.

    Being sexually involved with him, didn’t change anything or so I thought. In my opinion, we carried on with our normal relationships and only had a few sexual encounters. We continued to spend a lot of time together and neither of us disclosed any emotions or feelings, leading me to believe that we were merely friends with benefits. I mean, why would anything else be expected since we were JUST friends. We after college we lost contact except through social networks and we spoke ever so often. Years later after he met someone that he was serious about, he disclosed his long awaited, unspoken love for me. I was baffled because I had no clue. I must admit that I though of him often and recapped on all the fond memories we shared together, but I moved on with my life as planned. This announcement knocked me off my feet and left me questioning my feelings for him.

    Because I had moved forward and had a lot of changes to my life, I congratulated him and removed him from my life. I didn’t let him know that I was removing him, but I didn’t want anymore disruptions and I didn’t want to disrupt him. Well I get an invite to his wedding and I was yet again stunned. Why in the world would he want me, someone he just confessed his undying love for at his wedding? I finally reached out to him months later to ask why. He told me that I was his friend and always will be. He told me that he loved me and always will & that I would always have a special place in his life. I was like wow! But them some drama happened and we no longer speak. It was nothing we did to each other, but the situation just separated us. I feel he may be bitter with me and will no long have those same feelings for me.

    What is happening with me? What can I expect from him? He always waits years and comes back. Will he come back this time is my question? How could he love me and marry someone else?

  164. I am a Cancer woman and unfortunately I am in love with two Cancer men. One cancer I am married to and we have been for years. Things started off great, but then a few negative things transpired, so there are some looming trust issues. To rewind a bit, I met the other Cancer guy at work while we were in college. We started off as friends. We hung out, not physical contact, just a budding friendship. Anytime I needed the smallest things (listening ear, ride or just company) he was right there. We were both in a relationship at the time. Honestly, we barely spoke of our significant others; we just joked and enjoyed each other’s company. There was a lot of giggling and laughing involved. Then something happened and right before we had intercourse he made it clear that sex wasn’t what he wanted, but it happened anyway. He told me that he didn’t want me thinking that’s what he was after when it wasn’t. We had been friends for while over a year before this happened. We didn’t talk every day, but several times a week. I never expected anything other than what was happening.
    Being sexually involved with him didn’t change anything or so I thought. We carried on with our normal relationships and only had a few sexual encounters. We continued to spend a lot of time together and neither of us disclosed any emotions or feelings, leading me to believe that we were merely friends with benefits. I mean, why would anything else be expected since we were JUST friends. Well after college we lost contact except through social networks and we spoke ever so often. Years later after he met someone that he was serious about, he disclosed his long awaited, unspoken love for me. I was baffled because I had no clue. I must admit that I thought of him very often and recapped on all the fond memories we shared together, but I had moved on with my life as planned. This announcement knocked me off my feet and left me questioning my feelings for him. I realized that all these years, I fought hard to suppress them because I was with who I wanted to be with. The fact is I can’t let him go. It’s crazy to me, it’s been years and he been invading my head even before I realized it. It sucks really!!
    Because I had moved forward and had a lot of changes to my life, I congratulated him and removed myself from his life, hindering any communication. I didn’t let him know that I was removing myself, but I didn’t want any more disruptions and I didn’t want to disrupt him. Well I get an invite to his wedding and I was yet again stunned. Why in the world would he want me, someone he just confessed his undying love for at his wedding? I finally reached out to him months later to ask why. He told me that I was his friend and always will be. He told me that he loved me and always will & that I would always have a special place in his life. He told me that he told me about his feelings because he always felt that I felt the same as he did (intuition).I was like wow!
    But then some drama happened and we no longer speak. It was nothing we did to each other, but the situation just separated us. I feel he may be bitter with me and will no longer have those same feelings for me. What is happening with me? What can I expect from him? He always waits years and comes back. Will he come back this time is my question? How could he love me and marry someone else? Is his intuition telling him that I still love him very much? Honestly, I just want to remain kosher with no hard feelings, it’s obvious we can’t be together and I am not trying to. Just hate burned bridges for no reason. HELP!!!!

    • I’m gonna have to think about that more cause cultural differences mean a difference in priorities and principles. I’m not Asian, and the differences between your crab and me stem more from the cultural difference than anything.

      Sent from my iPhone

  165. Hi Lily

    Im Asian too. Personallyl I don’t think there is much difference in the priorities, the principles will be heightened too if the crab guy grows up in a very conservative household. My crab is not Asian but his upbringing is very old school and traditional that is very beautiful for me condisering that we have the same values and morals in terms of relationships and families. Like Christina here keeps on saying, if it feels right go for your gut. Usually what you sense and see in your crabs actions are what he really is feeling. You could say that they wear their heart on their sleeve. If he opens up to you and you sense that its those private informations that not all of the people in the world know that its a good sign, if he is always there waiting on you and calling you, communicatig to you he likes you so much. Just go with the flow don’t rush him and don’t pressure yourself for making a relationship with this man. Heck, its the best advice I have used for myself as well. It generally freed me from thinking so many things LOL…. best of luck with your lovelife girl. They are the best when you got him hooked and they stick and I mean stickier than glue. LOL

  166. But can you give me some insights as to why a cancer man behaves so…i mean its making me lose minds over it….

    • Do you know anything about how he grew up? Where, what was the region like? More specifically the demographic area. What kind of people lived there? What type of people did he grow up with? In times where parents fail, the neighbor doesn’t. If he failed to learn from his parents he will learn it from others and knowing what type of people are around helps give a base foundation for his potential character. Living in an area where only 6% were white with 78% black, my sister learned how to communicate like a ill mannered black girl. I’m not racist. I don’t look at color anymore. I only look at good and bad. And the area was getting worse each day, and so was her communication abilities. The point is, my dad didn’t teach her that, the neighborhood did. All sorts of things factor in when trying to figure out what motives would drive someone to do certain actions. As far as I know, the approach he did with you is very strange. That’s why I initially asked his culture because it seemed to forward and not cancer man enough. Get me his astro chart info if possible. Sun sign, moon sign, rising sign, and Venus.

      Sent from my iPhone

  167. Piscesgirl, Oh My Goodness, we are either seeing the same man or they are long lost twins…LOL. He seems to have some deep issues and I think he is scared. For some reason he can’t commit and will not commit until he is sure. Thing is I think you are so strong and will not wait for him and he could loose the best thing in his life. He may not know that now but will realize it when it is too late.
    Long story short, my cancer man for over a year had me on one heck of a rollercoaster ride. Today would be wonderful and tomorrow it would be terrible.For instance I had been out of work for three months and we did not have any contact. ( I had surgery). About 2 weeks before I came back to work I texted him. He was wonderful, talked up a storm, texted me every day if I didn’t text him. I told him I could no longer handle the rollercoaster ride nor wanted to feel like his blowup doll at times. He said it would be different. We met three times and it was wonderful. The first time we saw each other he told him he missed me. ( very rare would he show me much less tell me his feelings). Then one day out of the blue he says he can’t do this anymore ( I know some of his reasonings and understand them but he promised me he would be able to handle his problems this time. Same story he had told me off and on for a year) So he stops all contact with me. Fast forward three weeks and we are back on and we has sex again for the first time in 8 weeks. It was horrible, we sort of got into it over him not making time to see me that week and he even left without kissing me good by which he always had in the past. The next day I lit into him on a text about how poor his performance was the day before and how he made me feel. He said he was sorry but he couldn’t do this any more. I finally pulled out of him his true feelings. He said he cared a lot about me but didn’t love me. And if it continued he would fall in love with me and it would only complicate things. So we broke up. I texted him a few days later when i was drinking and told him I loved him ( I really do) and why wouldn’t he try to love me. He would not answer me. The next day I laid it all on the line to him about my feelings. He never responded.. Now it’s been three weeks and I have only seen him once and talked a minute concerning work only. So today I IM him at work and just said I hoped he had a good night. I never expected him to respond but as Jonathan has said they need to know you still care or they will walk away for good. I am not ready to let him g… and he was all Chatty Cathy. He is sick and had a headache. Said he tossed and turned all night and couldn’t sleep. So I said you must have a lot on your mind. He said yeah and he was having a spot removed and that was worring him. We talked about 5 minutes. Very unusual for him when we are broken up BUT not unusual when he wants to get back together……..
    I told you all of that so you could see how simular these two men are. We may have different issues we are facing but they react the same way.
    My guy like yours would tell me he could tell how much I cared about him by the way I looked at him and the things I said and he couldn’t deal with it at that time. ( see sound familuar?) But when I asked him if we were just FB then he said no but said he didn’t know what he wanted our relationship to be. He would never tell me what our relationsip was to him.

    IMO, your man likes the idea you have feelings for him but he is very unsure of his and really not sure yours is real. So he will put you thru a lot of tests to see if you will be committed to him and if he can be committed to you long term. That is what mine has done for a year. And now he is scared of his feelings for me.

    I was mean but very honest with mind and I told him exactly how I feel about him. I thought that would really scare him away for good and never speak to me again. Oh I even asked him if we could be friends or did he just want me out of his life for good and he never responded. I even said I guess since you won’t respond then you want me out of your life for good. and still no response so I felt I had nothing to lose by telling him I was in love with him and what I wanted from him. then he starts talking to me after three weeks and I was just starting to get over our breakup then he does this again… Rollercoaster ride again? maybe but I don’t think I could go thru this again.

    And look Christina is right. If you are honest and really communicate with them then leave them alone for a while they will come back if the really want you. I am not saying mine is coming back to me based on one IM but he is communicating with me and that is a start and his normal way of doing things.

    You have to decide if you can continue like this for maybe months or years.. From Sueellen2

    • Its so unreal how to 4 strangers can have so similar experiences, I am shocked!!!! And bow down to you because you have held on for too loooooong, if I have to go thru what you have been thru I don’t think I could. Believe it or not you are very strong as well, the fact that you set your grounds and speak your mind and the patience that you have is admirable. And there is where my pisces side kicks in, I can’t feel I’m on a unstable environment I don’t like it so I swim away. I believe in love and giving it my all but I don’t think love should be so hard to obtain, I don’t throw the towel until I know I’ve dine everything I can but in this case I have very little to work with, you on the other hand look like there is more than just simple head games because you have been at this longer. And honestly I don’t think anyone deserves a lifetime of testing. Yes, I agree that being sure before you give your heart away is permitted but making the other party suffer??? No way, its a very high price to pay. I’ve been thru my share of heartaches and at this point of my life I know how to keep myself away from that pain, I’m not saying its inevitable but I recognize the signs and I just go the other way. Picking up the pieces is a b…h. I don’t want that ever again. I suffer from a very high pride and I put it away for the right person but in this case is in high gear, I will not allow him to step all over me, yes I want to tell hum I’m still here although I have not heard from him all day nor he showed up to work, I tossed and turned all night until 530 am and had to get up at 6 am, so once you start taking my sleep away while you are sound asleep then it becomes a problem for me. He could of said gm like he used to or tell me he wasn’t coming in today but chose not to, so I chose not to make contact either, see the head games here??? Nooooooo noooo nooooooooo its not right. I am unsure of him I will not open heart mind and soul just yet but instead of working towards something more soulful he is playing games, unsecure or not unsure or not, previously scared by love or not this shouldn’t be like this its not healthy for me or him and neither is for you or your mate :'( I have very strong determination and if I put it in play he will only see my shadow because I could be as heartless and cruel as they make them, but I don’t want that, I have grown and matured I don’t do those things anymore but is dormant and it could resurface at any time and I don’t want to be like that with him he is kind, sweet, handsome, well mannered, oustanding vocabulary, I mean a piece of gold but he is just messing with my head. And it is just not fair. He said to me, we will have sex when I want us to have sex again, I told you I didn’t want to get close to tou emotionally and if I continue it will happen!!!! Who do you think you are???? Sex is a two people thing I have to want it too, it can’t be ondemand like he wants it nor I can flip a switch and be like oh ok today I’m allowed to love you, here sit nextto me letwme pet your ego!!!!!! Noooo its just wrong!!!! I’m sorry I rant so muc.

  168. @jonathan…
    as per my knowledge he doesnt have a troubled family,neighbourhood.We never discussed all that.But we once told me that he has visited few psychiatrists..thats it…What made u think that his approach was very forward?

  169. @jonathan…
    as per my knowledge my cancer man has not been in a troubled childhood, neighborhood..but he once told me that he has been to few psychiatrists..what made u say that for cancer man he was too forward?what do u think…did he ever like me?

  170. If I were you I would leave him alone and just tell him when he is ever ready for a real relationship to come see you and if you still want him then maybe it will work.
    The reason I stayed with mine so long is very complicated. I can tell you some of the reason was becasue he always made me feel like there was something wonderful at the end of the rainbow. You talked about how great your guy kissed. Well to start off mine kissed me a lot then when we broke up one time I told him I could tell his feelings from the way he kissed me and when we got back together he said he really didn’t like kissing. We would kiss some but not much. That was a year ago. Then like I said when I came back to work after being out for 3 months, he kissed me a lot, OMG so sweet……….. Even the last time he kissed me and I could just feel all the emotions he had then when we stopped I could see the look of “oh shit” come on his face and he crawled back in his shell… See if you tell them too much they may use it against you. Highly intelligent.
    Mine is 6.5″ tall, dark hair with gray and oh so very handsome with deep dimples. He is only 31 but really looks about late 30’s. I can hear his voice and I start getting nervous like a school girl. It’s crazy the affect these men have on us.
    They want us only for sex and if he knows you want him badly for that close contact he will use it against you. Mine does that. He controls me that way.. Because to me even if we didn’t have sex and he would just hold me and kiss me at times that is all I need. I just want to be in his arms and have his attention..
    I have not seen or heard from him today. I really didn’t think I would because he was coming into work late and I figured he might be in a mood again and be upset with himself for talking to me yesterday… Who knows… I sent him an email and said I hoped all went well today with his leg ( some spot needed to be taken off) and I had him in my thoughts and prayers. And to please text me, if he wanted to, next week when he found out the results even tho I would be on vacation he could still text me. And as always he could text me any time. But he would have to contact me first. Because I limit mine now because… he already knew why. ( I put that in there so he would know I want to contact him but he broke up with me so I am unsure what to do). And I hoped he had a nice weekend and could take him mind off of things…
    Anyway, keep us posted. Oh where are you from? My email showed your message came to my inbox at 9:55pm last night.. I live in Virginia..

  171. @sueellen2 and @piscesgirl

    I do hope you guys feel better now. But honestly, by how your cancer man treats you is because you let them treat you like that and you react so much to something that is just so literal. Im sorry of how you feel and frustrating it is, but have you guys try approaching it as an adult way? Like Christina say always here, say your lines…mean it and walk away. It will save you all the pain and the thinking and the frustrations and the baggages you are having now.

    I mean this kind of man is already have a lot of baggages in him. and very emotional look at a relationship with this man be with you if you both have a lot of baggages you think you both will be in a serene relationship? are you that addict to wanting a chaotic relationship? NO! we all don’t need that. Dont take him literally. We all are human beings we make mistakes we do things we wish we don’t but its how we react to situations that make a difference. I know how you guys feel I am a scorp. Before you open your mouth I already know what currents run deep in your hearts. my best advice well in my terms since I have been in this cancer man too for a bit long. if he doesnt want to talk let it be, if he talks – listen, I cant over emphasize enough Christina’s article and Jonathan’s advices here. They are very easy to read, and if you cant read him close your eyes and let your heart read him. Feel him and you will know the answer to your question. YOu just have to be tough to acknowledge the truth of what you are feeling. And work from there. If the word SUCK IT UP can apply. Use it more, I use it more every hour with this man that I have devoted my life. If you feel the tide you are riding with cancer men is just too much for your sanity leave that is, you dont need to settle for crap because of fabulous sex? chemistry? or whatever. If you can love yourself what zodiac it may be the real man will drop down in one knee and worship the ground you are walking on. Good day

    • @Sueellen I have left alone since, no contact no nothing made myself busy and got thru 48 of no contact and I have said my peace and walked away like Christina said, and at this point its just a waoting game, who breaks the ice first one thing I can tell you it is not going to be me, I won’t do that to myself, like I said before I don’t see why love has to be so hard, if you love me well, then give me something to work with if not I will be happy to walk away. I think about him, I miss him but its not that bad because deep inside my heart I know this is far from over and that at some point he either gets with the program or just end it for good. Whichever its fine with me. But I know I, feel I in my core that he is not going to walk away that easily. And yes like you said they used our feeling against us, that’s how I got here. Because he knows what makes me happy and what pleases me and he takes it away. Not fair. And I won’t allow him to use me for sex, I don’t need it nor I need to be treated like a little scank. I live in Florida ;-)
      @Scorpwoman, I agree with you and it is easier said than done, I do practice must of the things you say but sometimes other things cloud my judgement, I am getting there because I do not like to be treated like that I’m not that kind of woman, I do know what I want and I know how to get it however, life gets in the way sometimes and unfortunate things happen like falling for a complicated emotional full of baggage man. I am working on it and sooner rather than later this will be defined because I don’t like to linger on things that are not going anywhere it is very counterproductive IMO. Either you live me or you don’t, I don’t have a middle point. Yes, I will allow him to test the waters but this is beyond testing the waters this is already ridiculous.

      • I don’t think you two are in the same page at all. There is a song you should listen to called chasing cars. When he took him you to meet his parents he really did look at you like you want him to. He had a lot of emotions going through him and the failure of the bad weekend brought back the 2 fears I discussed prior. You’ve already done this game before. He try’s to get in your pants and you say your only in for serious relationships, he tried, took you to see his parents, and failed the next weekend. If you repeat this process I’m not sure he will do anything. The failure was big enough and the fears are strong enough that he might decide it won’t work out and place you in a “grey zone”. He likes you but it’s because of that, he is afraid of the potential pain he might experience. To me, good things take time and effort and are not truly good unless there are challenges so you can appreciate it and be a better person because of it. Being in love with someone should change you from the person you were when you were alone. To truly experience something as powerful as love would bring about an inner change so strong, that it creates tension on all other aspects of life, and its the way you manage the tension that defines how the relationship will work. Finding inner strength within yourself to manage your emotions and, with a cancer man, take the higher road, cause we would just as soon turn and walk away. If it doesn’t feel like fate or destiny then we aren’t interested, it seems he felt a fate/destiny relationship with you, and he doesn’t know how to proceed. Forcing him to make a choice might push him over the edge. IMO, the next move should be reassurance that he will be fine if you two were to get serious. That’s what is the problem, never forget the fears, and the fear of failure. Your confusion is because of his confusion as to what to do next. I wasn’t joking when I said we are children in some aspects when it comes to love.

        Sent from my iPhone

  172. ScorpWoman, I agree with you 100% and that would have been my advice to anyone before July 2012. Once I became involved with this man I became different. I don’t know how to explain it. And if you have never been in this situation then you don’t know. For example in Feb of this year I had the beginning stages of appendix cancer and some other serious health conditions. I have always been a strong person but had felt if I were ever to be told I had cancer I would crumble. Both my parents died of cancer and I took care of them so I knew what would be waiting on me. But I was so strong that I amazed myself. It is easy for us to say how we would react in situations we never been in.
    For some reason, it’s almost like these men have put a spell on us.
    Thank you for your advice because it is very good and you are exactly correct. It’s just something that will one day hit up like a ton of bricks and we will finally be able to say WTF am I doing and move on without ever looking back.

  173. Great Piscesgirl. you are in the right track. lol what i hate though about my cancer man is that sometimes his words get stuck inside his mouth. i myself want to hear words too you know, im still a sucker for sweet things. I sent him love letters that Mr. postman get to deliver at different days random days and all i get is a call from him saying he got the love letter and a long pause. (roll your eyes) sometimes it feels like its not being appreciated. grrr

  174. @sueellen2

    I get you girl. They do have that spellbinding vodoo innate thing goin on since speaking for myself as a scorp, I am made of touch walls too and just wooshh grrr he swooped right in and just wont budge. I tell you our relationship was not without any breakups and fall outs. around 3 break ups in a year maybe and that is usually when my temper explodes because I feel he is not paying attention to me. I will honestly say that I give 100% in my relationships and he knows that and I love it that he accepts my passion head on, so he says. and usually that break up comes from him. always the sentence from me is “FINE, I’ll leave you alone You know who and where to find me when you are ready to talk” a week of nothing from me gets me on the 8th day 30 voicemails, 10 emails and flowers piled up in my doorstep but we all know that scorpios are stubborn lots when we are pissed off. LOL so usually it gets to a 2week no talk and reply by the time I open my door to week2 there is depressed crab i so love so much. we dont again of what happened and what triggered the break up we just catch up on you know and say sorry and stuff and i forget it, he does practice nowadays forgetting things that causes our rift. We both come from 2 different cultures and though we both come from a conservative and traditional family I always say to him that He is my Yin and I am his Yang together we bring harmony apart we bring chaos. so keeps that in mind, i just leave him alone though when he gets that mood swings. i go shopping and stay away as long as i want. so when he starts to find me in bookstore or in the coffeeshop i know instinctively that his crabby mood is gone and he misses me.

  175. Piscesgirl. You are right, he may not walk away that easy. From what I have read they have a hard time letting anyone go that they really like. As I said mine and I have broken up a lot over the past year and we always manager to get back together. I do feel stronger now more than ever dealing with him. For one reason, Jonathan has helped me so very much and reading every one’s posts. I now know I am not alone and it’s not me, it’s him. And I had to learn to accept him the way he is. Oh I still look at my phone 100 times a day to see if he has texted me even tho I have it on a ring tone.. But now he is only on my mind 80% instead of 100% :-)
    I did have that strenght back in May when it started up again. I told him point blank I would not be his blowup doll and I meant that. That is one reason the last time we were together and he treated me that way, we had the arguement. As I said, my issues are much different than most on here but no matter the issues it appears a lot of cancer men are the same or simular. I just wish they could all read these posts to see how they really make women feel and maybe it would “wake” some of them up….

    • The thing is Sueellen that no matter how much they read, see, hear or we tell them they are not going to change their ways unless they want to. I have learn throughout the years that sometimes we have to let go no matter how painful it is and move on, the secind you adopt that mentality things start flowing and it becomes easier to deal. Just to find that one day we have them on their knees begging for a chance and by then we are stronger and we have regained control of our emotions and its easier to say no. I’m not a believer of head games, I dislike them because they are stupid, however, once you start playing them you actually engage in other things in general and this chaotic cancer chapter becomes something insightful, I’ve been there done that not with a cancer man but in general. I am determine to just step back and let this play out on its own. I am convinced that no matter what they will not come around when we want to. So my stubborn side says ok, then it will be when I want to and if I get over you it will be never. Once I close a door on someone I never evwr open it again, I don’t believe in going backwards its bad omen, if is in the past it ahould stay there. Also in my years of dating I only had one guy that I used to break up and go back I did that at least three times with him only break up for good after we had damaged each other so baaaad it took me 2 years to move on. So no, I can’t do this again, I have like a photographic memory I never forget things that makes it hard for me to make the same mistakes twice, due to that I remember vividly the pain, suffering I went thru. I do have something to compare this too and when I do I see this is very counterproductive, why because when someone wants you, lives you, needs you, they fight for you, they stick by you, they walk with you not in the opposite direction just for the sake of things, so I live very black and white until the right person comes along and makes me see the rainbow and I drift into my colorful world full or butterflies and blooming flowers lol very poetic of me lol lol….. last night I slept like I haven’t in a few weeks, I woke up fresh and recharged, I wasn’t tormented about any thoughts of him, I even left my phone downstairs all night because I forgot. So, its a process but unless you give this your all, you will not be able to move on, for the first time in weeks I didn’t feel pathetic i stayed in on a Friday night, why? Because I didn’t feel the need to go out and play myself like an idiot just looking to bump into him in one of the usual spots, no, I was home, and I felt at peace. I am not saying I will not think of him or fantasize about the posibilities, but I won’t let those thoughts be my priority any longer. One thing I’ve learn from my dad which he is a cancer as well is that men are not ready until they are, and if they tell you one thing you better believe them, such as I don’t want a relationship or I’m not ready for it or I simply don’t want it, if you insist nothing good will come out of it, my dad said his best years were his early to mid 30’s thereafter he wanted to settled down and he Did for a while then he started to mess around again, so he says ia a matter of personalities and upbringing and the level of maturity most men have, they could be good at their jobs yet a mess in their personal lives, maybe they are good at both, he agrees that its hard work to be in a relationship of any kind, but he doesn’t agree that it has to be this hard. He lift up my spirits with the talk we had. He made me stronger and less paranoid. I hope this post that is far from stick around aand wait for him, it is woeth something to someone In here, I know this is far from the stay up and fight till you get it, but there is a line between stay up and fight for what you want and let them walk all over you till your heart incinerates. ♥

      • Jonathan that’s exactly why I chose to step back and let this play out on its own. I have been nothing but supportive and reassurance has been there all the time, but I have a heart too, emotions, and I understand he has fears but so do I, now, why would he just go and hide for 3 days now after such a nice comeback from the failed weekend??? Ok, a crab thing, no problem, what am I supposed to do go banging on his door and beg him to loce me unconditionally and reassure him I’m in it for the long haul and proclaim my eternal love?? I can’t, he doesn’t deserve it, he treats me like a piece of dirt. It may be a crab thing but I have dignity as well. I am leaving him alone until he decides he is good to go on. Ill be here, but not forever, I need more to work with, I thrive on love, affection, nice gestures, romance, communication, I don’t care about reassurance so much becomes sometimes it just comes with the territory, I feel I’m swimming against the tides and my arms are tired. I won’t mistreat him if he comes back, ill be normal, sweet like always but I’m not giving in again so easily. He needs love so do I.

  176. @jonathan

    my cancer man doesnt come from a troubled childhood,neighborhood,as per my knowledge.But he at once told me that he has been to few psychiatrists..In ur opinion…y is it too forward for a cancer man?

    • Idk. At the time it seemed it, but looking back on my thought pattern, it might not be so out there. It seems he doesn’t take it seriously. He might not be looking for that type of relationship(similar to me but unknown at the moment what causes it). If he wanted it, he would have made it known by now. Either he doesn’t view you as you might want him to, or he doesn’t want anyone in general. I can tell you, living on my own and paying bills, having a steady and 100% secure financial situation is crucial to me wanting a relationship. Your cancer might not get settled or ready for a relationship until his life by himself is stable and how he wants it. As far as I can tell by what I know, he just wants to live in the moment, and enjoy himself. Maybe that’s the reason why it seemed weird, there seems to be nothing he wanted from you… Maybe just your company? Maybe just your intellect? Find the reason why he started talking to you, and you will find out what kind of future is possible with him. Theoretically IMO, anything is possible if you play your cards flawlessly… That’s why I pay attention to all the small details cause everything and everybody is a puzzle that can be solved and be predictable.

      Sent from my iPhone

  177. Hello Piscesgirl,

    I get your point and I feel the emotions. You dont necessarily have to bang his door, you could just leave a message or a text or a voicemail. like “hey, i will be here just here when you are ready to talk” something like that. He will hear it, he will think about it and he will put it aside for now while his crabby but once it all settles down he will pick that message and process it. I am sure. Thats how I did it with my cancer man, I am not saying that he didnt disappear on me. He did honestly he did 20days and I tell you I was goin from crazy to mad but I didnt bang his door. I just left him a voice message once and let it all go. surprise I was the first he called when he came out from his cave. they are psychics i tell you. they will know if your message came from the heart or not. And he never disappearred from me ever again.

    If you love someone there is nothing you dont want to do for him to make him feel better. Heck my cancer man can literally let his balls get cut off denying his feelings ifyou push to ask him. But I know and I didnt pressure and I just let it be. Like Christina said the waiting game is agonizing but its all worth it. Not all can be handle a cancer that is why you need to feel so much love for this kind of man to be able to bend and not break yourself along the process. Like I said posts before if you feel it deep, if you feel its right so by all means stick it out. And if not then run away as fast as you could.

    Tip: Like a chess game. Learn to master the game and you win. Learn to master your cancer man and you get him without the games. seriously.

    • @Scorpwoman very well put and I’m happy to know you sympathize with my emotions, but here is the thing, if this would of happened to me 12 years ago I would of banged on that door, left that voicemail god what am I saying would of left 10 voicemails!!! But now, not so much, I can’t see myself plating that role anymore, however, once I have established a relationship that flows I will give it my all, cherish it, treasure it, respect it, and then some, but understand my point, he has told me HE DOESNT WANT A RELATIONSHIP yet he takes me to his parents, spent the weekend together which it didn’t exactly played out as it should of but we got passed that so I thought, he gets close and one fine day all of the sudden I hear those words again, oh I don’t want us to get too close because I don’t want a relationship. And I take people words seriously, if they say it to me, they mean it to some degree, to what degree, well, I guess I will never know, I won’t call him, text him, reassure him a thing, I have dignity and pride, and is hard for me to do those things, don’t think for a sec I haven’t thought about it but there is a side of me that holds me back and when in doubt don’t do it. I can only sit and wait to see what happens, and believe me that if he comes back I will have the talk, I won’t pressure him to feel or love or commit, but I will let him know how his actions are setting us apart, I’m a very structured woman, I like organization, planning, and this feels like a bad agenda, and as days go by, I feel better and better, is like thet say out of sight, out of mind, it sucks it may all come down to this but I can only think about the moment and for now it is not so pretty. Will se what happens.

      • Understandable. Make sure you give him a clear cut “I’m out and I’m not coming back” please. People talk about how we cling and in reality we just take a long time to process and make choices. When we do something, we only want to have to do it once. You might be on this page, but he might be on another and might snap back to reality still left with feelings you haven’t seen for awhile but forgotten or w/e.

        Sent from my iPhone

  178. ScorpWoman, You are so right. It’s just so hard for those that have not accepted this process yet. We are stubborn also and want to ask them who in the heck do they thing they are, driving us nuts to bow down to them. Then once you find out you are in love with them or strong enough in like that you want them in your life you watch and learn. Over the past year we have broken up and got back together after a few days to a month. It’s been very hard on both of us. I am the type of woman that if I care enough to want to sleep with you ( and that is how our relationship started, it took a year after we met to get the nerve up to talk then within two weeks we were sleeping with eachother) then I have made up my mind I want to be in this for the long haul. With my cancer man, I fell for him the first time I saw him. Love? not sure about that but I never had that feeling for any other man ever and I am 49 years old. I told my friend right after I saw this man that I had just seen the man of my dreams. We never talked but spoke until a year later. I had only had two lovers other than my cancer man. I am very picky who I want to give my heart to and with sex they get my heart because I have already decided even if it happened quickly…. So when I was treated like this it floored me. I was not use to a man not giving me affection, wanting to communicate, ect. so early in a relationship. It was sort of a challenge then it turned in to a chore. I have a girl friend that I swear is his long lost twin sister but she is a Virgo but her personality is so much like his it’s scary. She helped me in the beginning before I found this site. She would tell me to leave him a lone a few days and he would be calling and she was right. She said if I pissed him off he would see that as a rejection and crawl back into himself and could just throw me to the curve. Even if he really wanted me to him could very easily talk himself out of getting any closer to me and walking away. So true.
    Now as I said we have some very different issues that keep us apart. Our age difference is one challenge. But whatever the issues are they seem to handle it much the same way.
    I have a question for you or maybe you can ask your man if he knows about this site.. After a year of being with woman and the breaking up and getting back together. IF a cancer man finally tells you this: “Yes, I do care but not like that ( “that” means love to him) and that is why I have to stop. You are a sweet, good hearted woman, pretty, very sweet. I just can’t do this anymore and it’s for the best. You do have a place in my heart.” I said so you are scared if you fall in love with me it will only complicate things more? and he said yes……
    Ok he stopped all contact with me until the next week and I just texted him to see if he was sick because I was and thought he may have caught it. He just replied no and he was fine. then we discussed work one day. But Thurday I just emailed him to have a good night. He replied and talked about a medical proceedure he had to have the next day, told me to have fun on my vacation etc. I was very upbeat and told him he was in my thoughts and prayers and to please text me next week even tho I would be on vacation to let me know the results if he wanted to. And he knew he would always contact me anytime but mine would be limited and he knew why.. I just left it like that. Normally I contact him after a breakup about 3 days later and either he doesn’t respond or will take days to respond. This time it was the three times I just spoke of above in about a month. I am sure he wondered about that because that was not normal for me.
    Sorry that is long but you needed to understand.. So what do you think is going on with him? Jonathan has given me his answer and knows everything but I just wanted a second opinion.

  179. @sueellen2

    “IF a cancer man finally tells you this: “Yes, I do care but not like that ( “that” means love to him) and that is why I have to stop. You are a sweet, good hearted woman, pretty, very sweet. I just can’t do this anymore and it’s for the best. You do have a place in my heart.” I said so you are scared if you fall in love with me it will only complicate things more? and he said yes ”

    My crab doesnt know about this site, oh god please dont let him know about this site it will feed his ego 60% more and id get a lot of teasing everytime we start our meals. LOL its not that i would mind too much ego stroke is dangerous. LOL

    So I asked him 5minutes ago, his cookng me dinner (wink)ssshhh.. He was serious when he answered but he said that it would mean that its over and done deal. even if he loves you so much youll always be in his heart but he will never go back …. and he inserted my quote that we both live by “Love dont have to be difficult if its real”…swooning …ha ha ha email me here if you have more questions he shuts off my phone, my laptop and everything when its his time …thats how he is off me. and i love it…


  180. Im a bit confused – so how exactly does one stop them from having this power over someone? And does ignoring them help?

  181. mind over matter… learn how to play the game.. strategy or bail out. Ignoring them? Yes and NO. If you dont want them or you feel they are not worth so YES by all means Ignore till they stop trying to get you. and If you do have the feelins and feel you can stick it out then, NO don’t ignore them. Be honest and say your piece whatever it is. And see what happens.

  182. To get thing straight – theres no romance just long distance friendship. Being a libran i do have tons of friends, but i just dont get this man – he remembers every little detail (silly ones too). He initiates the friendship and then leaves all the follow up to me. Expects you to stay in touch but no effort from him! Says he will call but forgets – ignores emails. I like things clean and clear and this is just frustrating – does he expect someone to bend down to his whims and fancies? Why does he do this?

    • Sounds like he has no emotional involvement. That was probably his rising sign you saw and then his cancer nature kicked in. The confusion probably stems from the drastic switch.

      Sent from my iPhone

  183. Wow jonathan – im totally impressed by the manner in which you analyze the situation. I try to keep myself emotionally distant from people as i can be emotionally weak. I could see myself being frustrated by this indivdual – who comes across as selfish. His main concern is himself, with a superficial interest in others. When i disappeared for a few days, he came following, and I gave this person an opportunity. Since then its been a game – if im not there he comes following – calls, writes, etc. else its like i’m chasing! Which he seems to enjoy! Woah dude – i need to ignore you, but dont keep running back to me. It doesnt make things easy on my emotions, because if i ignore him (which i did to make sure that he understands that others have feelings too), he feels bad. And i dont like to be the cause of anyones misery. He is a loner, but i am making every effort to reach out to him – how do you get in touch with someones soul, if he doesnt want to be touched but still wants to? I want to be a good friend – question is how? How do i tell someone that you are there when they are so shutoff? How do you get across to a selfish person? How do you contact someone who seems to be reaching out but is not willing to put in any effort? I see the good – and i believe, but how do i reach it?

    • I understand that feeling exactly. Unfortunately the other party can and does drag you through the mud if you let them.. You can lead a horse to water, and I’m inclined to make him drink no matter what because I’m a manipulator, but for the most part, you can’t make him drink. That type of person can only change himself. What he needs is a reason to change. If you can, be that reason. I’m not quite sure how or in what way, but I hope it’s possible.

      Sent from my iPhone

      • Also, I don’t manipulate for fun, I do it when I want a certain reaction from someone when I haven’t warranted the reaction. Normally the manipulating comes with lies and I can honestly say I haven’t manipulated in about 6 months. Manipulation a stems from a poorly made choice that we continue to make. Mine was in the form of getting bad grades because of my mother issues and I could manipulate for about a month before I eventually run out of gas and let myself get caught. Since I’ve been out of school, I don’t think about my mother as much, and am not inclined to overly analyze people or manipulate them to my benefit…

  184. Beautiful Jonathan!!! Thanks for the hope – i think he does recognize the effort but doesnt know how to reciprocate. I will just be myself, i dont want him to change unless he wants to, but i do not want to see his superficiality, i want to see the genuine him. Will keep you posted – i guess its going to be a long, hard road getting there – with nothing in store for me – i dont wanna give up even though im tempted to ;) He’s a good person thats for certain but his actions leave you wanting… Friendship is not a one way street – and iit isnt about whom you have known the longest… Its about who came and never left your side…
    Keeping my fingers crossed beyond this :)

    • Good! Just remember, we change everyday of our lives. Global warming my ass, nothing ever stays the same, life and space are ever changing and never stop. Even you yourself are being hurled through space even though you don’t feel it. Change should not be classified as good or bad, what should matter is how you handled and overcame the change. Don’t fear the change you will bring about in him. Embrace it and try to make it as good as possible. I signed up for a subscription for advice on what attracts girls and other tips on women, and one said simply being happy can attract women because everyone wants happiness. If you can be positive and be a shining light during his day, then he will be attracted to you. And yes we do like you chasing us because its shows us you really want to be with us. Again we don’t associate with people we don’t want to associate with, and when you chase, it means you care and want to be with us, to an extent.

      Sent from my iPhone

      • Well, I broke the silence my dignity, pride and everything I believe on and sent him a message asking about his weekend, his reply : I chose to ignore you although is not right, but because I am falling for you and I told you it is not what I wanted right now, I can’t stop thinking about you and I have been going crazy this past four days because I have not heard from you. Please don’t be mad, I have a lot of feelings for you, my heart is yours but I can’t do this right now. I. Said: Fair enough, you are the only one that can make decisions with your life and your heart” This just floored me. Big time. I’m speechless. ANY WORD OF WISDOM?

      • That’s not the best thing to hear, but its not the worst. You never want him rejecting his feelings for you, cause once he starts, he might not stop. The only choice you have now is to keep on him until he surrenders to the feelings which he probably would, or until he says that’s enough. Think about it. Get back to me on how you feel about it. And remember, he is highly emotional right now, emotional replies to him are the best. Tell him how he is making you feel and how much of your thoughts he takes up. Probably want to keep them good for now. Save the negative for another time when he can handle it.

        Sent from my iPhone

  185. OMG! We are seeing the same man! LOL
    Do like I am trying to do. leave him alone and when he is ready he will come back. When he does then you set your ground rules. Tell him if he ever leaves you again it will be completely over and you mean it.
    PS I am happy for you. It is good news! Just give it time.

    • Oh Sueellen now I know what you mean!!!!! This is crazy!!!!…. yes I am leaving him alone. I Did my part, I went for answers I got more than answers, now lets see what he’s got. How long will this last?? God only knows. But I need to occupy myself on something else because I feel i will get depressed if I continue thinking about him. I’m like waterworks right now but ill get ahold of myself as soon as I’m done grieving him lol yes very dramatic of me but I’m being real, I’m a very emotional person. To me is like he loves his freedom more than he wants me, or he is bsing me big time. So emotional amd skeptical right now…. :'(

    • Jonathan that could be accomplished only if I could contact him….. he has made himself invisible, I send messages and it says it can’t be delivered. So I think he has gone rouge. I sent him an email and it says undeliverable error blah blah. So yeah he has cut me off. However my female and pisces intuition are telling me otherwise I think he loves his freedom more than he wants me and he has not closed his singlehood phase and he needs more time to enjoy his life, I also feel that after he tries to see how green the grass is on thr other side he will be back, call me crazy but I just have this feeling, it may be hope but I trust my gut feelings a lot they never let me down, in the meantime I will keepnit business as usual. It hurts but it gets easier everyday. Ill keep you post it.

  186. Hey Piscesgirl,

    here catch the tissue girl you need it. When your done sulking and crying …wanna have coffe with me and suelleen2? lol that should give you some smiles. hugs for you girl…it will fine youll see.

  187. I usually never do this, but I’m pretty much at my wits end here. Plus, this thread seems pretty active, and if I could get some advice, that would be golden right now. I met a Cancer guy about 7 or so months ago online. We play the same game, and we just started talking as friends to each other. Our friendship was just fine. We flirted a lot, but flirting doesn’t mean much to me since I’m a Taurus cusp with Aries tendencies, so I flirt in my sleep. Also, I’m 30 and he’s 26, but astrologically, we’re perfect for each other, as I’m a Taurus, he’s a Cancer, and in the Chinese zodiac, I’m a Pig and he’s a Rabbit. Perfect, really. One day, I don’t know what happened, but our friendship became deeper. We were living in different states, but he was always talking about how he wanted to visit me and how he couldn’t wait to spend time with me and so on and so forth. I was pretty eager for this to happen, but we didn’t make any solid plans. I remember trying to talk to him one day in game, and he said to me that he didn’t get on the game to chat, he got on to play and have fun. I said that it was no problem, but I won’t lie, it really got on my nerves. I think I didn’t speak to him for almost 2 months after that, partially because I was sick and I lost my internet.

    In August, he texted me completely out of the blue, saying that he hadn’t seen me and he missed me. I was shocked at this and told him about the last conversation that we had and how it annoyed me. He apologized and said that he didn’t mean to hurt my feelings. I forgave him, and after that, we were as thick as thieves again. I told him what was going on in my life and how I had planned on moving back home, which just so happens to be the state that he lives in. He seemed so happy, saying how he couldn’t wait to see me, how he wanted to kiss me when we first met. Of course, I was skeptical at hearing this. I’m used to men saying how they want to see me and be with me and whatnot, so I told him that I was no one night stand. He said that he didn’t want to have sex with me, that he wanted to make love to me and that he wanted to be my knight in shining armor. I was stunned by this as I’d never heard it from anyone that I wasn’t in a relationship with. So, I asked him why he wanted to be with me, since I’m such a basketcase, and he said that he was too. I felt that this was the validation that I needed to try to persue this possible relationship.

    When I moved back home, he gave me exactly one day of rest, and the next day, he came over. We kissed, and it was absolutely magical. I made him a home cooked meal, which he loved, we talked a lot, went for a walk, held hands. I introduced him to my grandmother, and he took me to his house where he we fooled around a bit. We didn’t have actual sex, but there was definitely a sexual activity, if you’ll forgive me being coy. But, throughout it all, he never stopped looking into my eyes, holding my hand, or touching me in any way he could. I told him that every time he touched me that it felt like lightning and my heart skipped beats. It was probably the best date I’d ever had.

    He bought me back home, and I told him that I would pass out but to call me or text me to let me know that he made it home safely. I woke up the next morning, and there was no call or text. So, I sent him out one telling him that I had an amazing time, that I hoped that he made it home safely, and we would talk again soon. We haven’t talked since. I called him once and wondered why he hadn’t told me that he made it home safely. He said he forgot. I said that he was a horrible person for making me worry so much, which may have been a little harsh, but I said it playfully. He just kept saying he was sorry until he rushed me off the phone. After that, I have gotten exactly 3 text messages from him, despite me texting him and calling him, trying to get him to acknowledge that I’m here for him, and I care about him. I won’t say I’m in love with him; I am a Taurus after all, and while I don’t rush into things, I just want to know how he feels about me. It’s been 2 weeks since his last text message, and it’s been a month since I’ve seen him. I don’t really know what I did to make him crawl into his shell, and I know that I shouldn’t try to coax him out of it, especially with a sledgehammer, but I miss him dearly. Even if we don’t have a relationship, while that would hurt me, I just want him to be in my life, even if it’s just as friends. But, how can I find out where I stand if he won’t talk to me? I don’t really know what to do anymore. Any sort of advice at all would be incredibly helpful.

    Thanks in advance.

  188. I am a Cancer woman and unfortunately I am in love with two Cancer men. One cancer I am married to and we have been for years. Things started off great, but then a few negative things transpired, so there are some looming trust issues. To rewind a bit, I met the other Cancer guy at work while we were in college. We started off as friends. We hung out, not physical contact, just a budding friendship. Anytime I needed the smallest things (listening ear, ride or just company) he was right there. We were both in a relationship at the time. Honestly, we barely spoke of our significant others; we just joked and enjoyed each other’s company. There was a lot of giggling and laughing involved. Then something happened and right before we had intercourse he made it clear that sex wasn’t what he wanted, but it happened anyway. He told me that he didn’t want me thinking that’s what he was after when it wasn’t. We had been friends for while over a year before this happened. We didn’t talk every day, but several times a week. I never expected anything other than what was happening.
    Being sexually involved with him didn’t change anything or so I thought. We carried on with our normal relationships and only had a few sexual encounters. We continued to spend a lot of time together and neither of us disclosed any emotions or feelings, leading me to believe that we were merely friends with benefits. I mean, why would anything else be expected since we were JUST friends. Well after college we lost contact except through social networks and we spoke ever so often. Years later after he met someone that he was serious about, he disclosed his long awaited, unspoken love for me. I was baffled because I had no clue. I must admit that I thought of him very often and recapped on all the fond memories we shared together, but I had moved on with my life as planned. This announcement knocked me off my feet and left me questioning my feelings for him. I realized that all these years, I fought hard to suppress them because I was with who I wanted to be with. The fact is I can’t let him go. It’s crazy to me, it’s been years and he been invading my head even before I realized it. It sucks really!!
    Because I had moved forward and had a lot of changes to my life, I congratulated him and removed myself from his life, hindering any communication. I didn’t let him know that I was removing myself, but I didn’t want any more disruptions and I didn’t want to disrupt him. Well I get an invite to his wedding and I was yet again stunned. Why in the world would he want me, someone he just confessed his undying love for at his wedding? I finally reached out to him months later to ask why. He told me that I was his friend and always will be. He told me that he loved me and always will & that I would always have a special place in his life. He told me that he told me about his feelings because he always felt that I felt the same as he did (intuition).I was like wow!
    But then some drama happened and we no longer speak. It was nothing we did to each other, but the situation just separated us. I feel he may be bitter with me and will no longer have those same feelings for me. What is happening with me? What can I expect from him? He always waits years and comes back. Will he come back this time is my question? How could he love me and marry someone else? Is his intuition telling him that I still love him very much? Honestly, I just want to remain kosher with no hard feelings, it’s obvious we can’t be together and I am not trying to. Just hate burned bridges for no reason. HELP!!!!

  189. Piscesgirl and ScorpWoman, Wouldn’t that be wonderful to finally meet face to face, have a good cry, drink and have a good old Cancer Man talk!!!! It would take days!!!! Heck, we will bring Jonathan with us !! Do you think you could handle that Jonathan!!!!! LOL

    Note: my guy had surgery on his leg Friday. They took a spot off his leg. I didn’t know until I just emailed him to have a good night and he told me he was tired and that he tossed and turned all night. I said you must have a lot on your mind. He said yeah and I found a spot on my leg and they are doing surgery. ( I am hoping some of that tossing and turning was about missing me but who knows). So I told him he was in my thoughts and prayers, and I knew he was scared but it would be ok. That he was too stubborn for anything to happen to him. lol. Told him I was going on vacation but to please text me when he got the results. So today I emailed him and said I hope his leg was doing ok and to have a good day… No reply but I do know he was busy. I texted him when I got off from work and said How is your leg. He replied, It’s still there.. I said LOL does it hurt and he said it’s sore, So I said when are you going to find out the results? he said in a couple of day. So I asked him if he would text me when he got the results and he said Yep. So i just said Don’t worry, you will be fine. Have a good night. He didn’t reply. That is normal conversation for him. He is a one word or a couple of words texter unless we are sexting then he does do much better. LOL. Anyway, NORMALLY when we break up he does not talk to me no matter what until he is ready to come back. I am not pushing it or asking anything about us. I did tell him in the email he could contact me anytime but mine would be limited and he knew why. I don’t know if this means he is interested again or not and quite frankly I don’t know if I can go back to it either. I was so devistated the last time I don’t know if I can handle it again. I think he can sense this and why he is keeping communication open. I love him with all my heart but he has to decide what he wants and stick with it..

    Piscesgirl, Don’t take what he said as negative just yet. He may have said that to “feel you out” meaning see your reaction. So when you talk to him again tell him you appreciate him telling you that ( they love for you to make over them and give them compliments) and you def. feel the same but you need that committment and can’t be his FB. Just keep telling him that and he will soon come around. There has got to be a reason he doesn’t want a relationship right now. And if not , then you move on but do not close your heart to him. The timing just isn’t right so maybe later on down the road ya’ll will get back together… Two people closing thier hearts because of stubborness is not going to work. Someone has to give and it has to be us…

    I am going on vacation tomorrow so I will talk to ya’ll this weekend.. I can read posts on my phone but for some reason can’t reply…

  190. I couldn’t get through all the comments but I feel relieved after reading all of this!
    I’m a Virgo girl and this summer I’ve had a very nice cancer boy pursue me… it’s been a very busy time and I’ve just had… no time at all. But he has remained consistent, and even though I didn’t have time to meet up much, apart from at certain events that I host during the summer, he kept up with phone calls and checked in daily, and we were both in agreement that as soon as my nutty crazy busy month finished up, we’d get together and have a nice relaxing time getting to know each other. Massive chemistry in the meantime.
    I last saw him a few days ago at my birthday party (which also marked the end of my busy summer, happily) and he really made an impression on me, by showing up early, before it started, with a present and just being… present and sweet ;-) . I realized that I definitely want to get to know him more.
    Well, the crazy busy time is finished and I’m available and …. as it has been written further up in the thread… POOF! This after pursuing me quite regularly…
    What’s up with that? Was I too unavailable? In our conversations it really appeared that we were starting to get to know each other and he definitely hasn’t hidden any interest… and now…. ??
    I feel there is potential but I don’t want to chase a guy around either… best way to handle this? We’ll see each other in a few days because of another event we are both part of and I’m just not sure how to compose myself.

  191. Worse thing is that we saw each other this morning and we both died yet noone said a word, the looks said everything, 30 longest secs of my life. Yet he hasn’t made contact. He gor red, blck, blue, yellow, so did I, my knees were weak and my heart in my throat, I started to shake and I tried to control myself soooooo hard….

  192. It’s nice to know that there are men who exist who have such emotion and feelings. I think with anything, it takes finding a connection with another. Finding a real connection and building a relationship upon it. And it also being; two people who feel they want a relationship. I think when you feel such a strong connection with another, then you wish to be with them. It has to be mutual too, of course. Finding a lot of common ground, a lot of things in common, in wishing to be together. Liking what you see in another in wishing a relationship with them. And they liking what they see in you too, in also wishing a relationship with you. There is a saying; “You can’t fall in love — until you FIRST fall in love with yourself.” If you don’t love yourself, how can you expect another to love you, when You can’t? So, love YOU! Love yourself first, before all else in life, and then others will love you, too. And; another can’t love you, until they first learn to love themselves. It takes loving ourselves in life. You can’t love others, until you first truly love ‘You’. So learn to love yourself, because… it’s sublime when you do. :) Life is good when you do. You then don’t rely on others to love you to be happy, you only rely on yourself… of You loving You. It’s to love yourself in life, and then find another who also learned to love themselves in life — to have a relationship. To have a happy, good relationship of two people loving themselves and then loving each other. But, this is only my opinion. Wishing everyone all the best!

  193. @jonathan – finally managed to end a terrible week with the usual swinging around, at moments feeling like it was the last straw. But at least i know i got a chance to tell him I was at my wits end. He didnt take to it kindly I guess but well, I need to think of ME too. He is making the effort, but its inching along; more a snail than a crab and with no emotion. So I’m wondering why is he even making an effort? He doesnt owe me anything. The feeling of frustration gets replaced with a “whatever”. How do you guys make friends? Are you so laid back that it bores the other person? My upbeat attitude sometimes takes a beating :(

    Read through your manipulations :) – but i guess you ultimately figured that the only person getting hurt was you – wasnt it? All of us have done it to some extent and yes, we havent been proud of it, but in the moment it felt like the right thing to do.
    The global warming had me in splits and i hope the subscription does you good, girls definitely love the being positive bit because its true. But you cant be superficially positive, make it shine through you and it will show in your eyes. That sparkle is what will enchant any girl :)

    • Eh, the subscription was more or less a shot in the dark as to how other men have their own problems with women and what they do to overcome it. I’m not bad at all with women, quite the opposite, I’ve never had problems making them laugh or smile or have a good time. I moved out of my dads because of my manipulative streak regarding him. Yes I can sit at home and do absolutely nothing, or focus on one thing for long periods of time if I’m occupied enough by it. Being able to lay on a couch and do nothing is something I find very easy to do. It’s more of a silence is a virtue thing… I just enjoy peace and quite. But don’t confuse that with me having no sense of adventure… It comes with a certain mood.

      Sent from my iPad

  194. @miss curious – but do these men know what they want themselves? You can like what you see in another, but how do you make someone secure in their own skin? Can you make someone love themself?

  195. Hi Scales, unfortunately no, you can’t make someone love themselves. Maybe think of it like…. If it doesn’t happen, it’s not meant to be? I know many people think this way. Maybe sometimes you can’t force things? Either it’s there, or it’s not? I know it can be hard, if you feel you fell in love, and you want to be with them, and you can’t, because they don’t want to be with you. Well, there is also another saying, that I don’t know if people like it too much, who have been in this boat. But it’s is said; if you love someone let them go, if they come back to you, they loved you. If they don’t…. well, they never loved you in the first place? I guess it’s that if you love someone, you wish to set them free. B